DD age 8 has told all her class mates Father Christmas doesn't exist

[KatieDD]

And another mother in DD's class has asked me to ask her not to say it again because they were hoping for another year of magic (her daughter is 9).
Now I am having the day from hell anyway but what would you do ?
DD has sussed it now so I cannot say he is real without looking an idiot and I always said I wouldn't lie so when she outright asked I replied that she was right but she mustn't tell her younger sisters.

Ds who is 8 told me last week his mate has said there is no father xmas.
He was gutted and asked me if I believed
I said yes .I think/hope he still believes

Its all very well telling your DC the truth but some of us want Dc to believe for as long as possible.
Just tell them to keep it to themselves

katiescar what you don't leave a stocking out as well

It's perfectly reasonable to talk about the Father Christmas myth. However telling your children that their presents come from Father Christmas is not telling them the truth. So how is that not a lie? I enjoy all sorts of stories with my children, and myths and legends are great to read and discuss. But I don't say any of them are true because I don't think they are. The Father Christmas thing is odd IMO because the people telling the story know perfectly well it is made up, but they expect those listening to believe it (and clearly get annoyed when other people say it's made up). I ensure my children respect other people's religious beliefs, but I don't think they should have to go along with other kids family myths too.

Andiem, no , but the DC's do!

see katie s it is just for you isn't it

Katiedd do you know that's all the other mother has to worry about? Perhaps that was just the last straw for her.

I'm sorry to hear that you have problems going on, and yes, she should be glad that that is all she's got to worry about. The thing is, though, that she is clearly worrying about it and I didn't think it was too much for you to explain the situation to your dd.

Probably getting a bit too involved in this, my dh has just come in from work and thinks so!! {grin} So I'm sorry if I've come over as rude, just my opinion but hey, I agree with you in as far as there is enough crap in the world without us adding to it on here!!!!

We will do Father Xams as a pretending game - like playing princesses.

I really wonder whose sake the 'magic' is really for - the parents or the children.

am off to cook tea as well
hope you sort it out katied

I think you should remind DD that to tell others and "spoil their belief" isn't very fair. If she is capable of keeping it quiet with younger children then she should be capable of doing the same with her own friends.

If she went to the trouble to ask another parent to tell her daughter not to mention that FC isn't real, then speculating on her other "ishoos" should be the work of a mental health professional.IMO, of course.

!!!

KS

Bye ladies, twas fun, enjoy your meals.

KS
xx

Good grief, what a fuss. When I was at school my bf (pudding25) and I had fisticuffs about whether fairies were real. (We were seven). She said they weren't, she knew because her mum had told her. I said they were real and my mum had told me. I continued to believe in fairies for a long time after and felt sorry for her that she didn't . My mum would never have pulled her mum up about ruining my fantasy world.

Kids are always saying stuff in the playground, far worse. My sex education and swearing vocab began in the primary school playground and it was hardly accurate. I really don't see what you can do about it. If I was the mum of one of the other kids I would say "No one knows if Santa is real as we have not seen him. So some people don't believe in him and some do. I believe" And then press play on The Polar Express Dvd, not difficult.

Yes, I understand about politeness and I think I did mention this in an earlier post.
If I were Katie, I would stress politeness and respect for the beliefs of others.

But I am still uneasy with the level of parental control over the playground conversations of such an old child.

What if next year she needs to tell a friend that she has started periods- is she not to be allowed to talk about that either? After all, some parents aren't comfortable about sex talks. So how much pressure would they be justified to put on a child to hide the fact that they had entered puberty? And if such pressure is put on, would it still be justified by a mum being upset?

How long do you carry on monitoring children's private conversations?

You could tell your dd that 'Santa' stops visiting some families once they stop believing, so it's bad form to tell children who believe (whatever age they are) that he doesn't.

actually just tell your dd not to spoil it for her ds as she was allowed to believe and they should be allowed to aswell. Tell her that you are sure she is grown up enough to be able to keep a secret - make her beleive she is the grown up one in all this and that may help her to not tell her younger siblings.

My eldest wouldn't have told her little sister as she had been told by a girl at school and was most upset - so kept it from her sister who is 6 years younger.

i would let her stay up on christmas eve and help be santa, this she really enjoyed because it was our secret

may be worth a try?

oh I am ina right pickle - what is this thread about I am lost so lost

My son worked out that father christmas did not exist just before his fifth birthday. His best friend is a Hari Kristna and does not get visited by Santa. His little friend is a good boy, his family just don't celebrate Christmas.

I would have thought that a child who had not worked out that Santa does not exist at the age of eight is either extremely stupid or they are just pretending to believe in Father Christmas to please their parents.

Most children are aware that there are people less fortunate than themselves. Many eight year old children know there are starving people in Africa from comic relief. It is also clear in a state school that some children have better toys than others.

Once a child has sussed that santa does not exist I think that they should be respected. You can still hang up the stocking. I have great fun with my son ringing bells and pretending to be Father Christmas. He thinks its hilerous and its real magic.

Christmas is about the birth of Jesus or possibly celebrating Yuletide if you are pagan.

Actually I think this is real example of over-intrusive helicopter parenting. NO WAY would a parent intervene over this kind of playground trivia when I was a kid.

oh no, I told my 8 year old last week to write his xmas list to me, as their is no FC. 8 years old is old enough to know, otherwise it just gets embarassing!!! I hate telling him lies anyway.

Op I agree with you that other parent is out of order.
How would an atheist feel if they were told to stop letting their child say there is no such thing as god cos it might upset their child!!!Same difference.

Hmm

My dd (also 8) along with my dd (5) have said a few times about children at school saying FC not being real. They think that they're the ones being silly!

Its not a massive issue - children have always done this and will continue to do this. My children firmly believe. They believe so firmly because they want to!

I don't care about all the 'shouldn't lie to our kids' brigade ...as far as i'm concerned, they're little for such a short time and Christmas is so magical - they'll never hear the 'truth' coming from my lips! Judge away, i don't give a shite!

As for your dd Katiedd.
Of course there is going to be one child in the class who tells everyone else, thats life.
However, I do think your 'don't care' attitude is off tbh.
If you can encourage your child to keep the secret for younger children, why can't she keep the secret for her peers?
That said, it wouldn't bother me - my kids would think she's lying anyway