DD age 8 has told all her class mates Father Christmas doesn't exist

[KatieDD]

And another mother in DD's class has asked me to ask her not to say it again because they were hoping for another year of magic (her daughter is 9).
Now I am having the day from hell anyway but what would you do ?
DD has sussed it now so I cannot say he is real without looking an idiot and I always said I wouldn't lie so when she outright asked I replied that she was right but she mustn't tell her younger sisters.

LOL, andiem

Was wondering where you'd got to, i was feeling a bit out-numbered here!!!!

was doing bath and bed

Not much effort required here either. 12yo is in the unsure phase and we will have to confirm her suspicions this time as she's now moved up to secondary. But the 10yo, 8yo and 5yo are still none the wiser.
Gullible kids? Maybe. But the older ones tell me they loved it.

Agree with Mabanana that if children this age (and the other child is said to be 9 rather than 8), then it is about choosing to believe. That sort of belief is something you can keep regardless of other people.

Now obviously, if the OPs dd goes on and on at the other child about her beliefs, or suggests that it is babyish , then she would be bullying and would deserve a sharp pulling up by the teacher.

But to actually tell the other children in Year 4 or 5 that you may talk about these subjects only, but not about certain other ones- how productive is that going to be?

Some of these kids are pre-teens anyway. You can't control everything they talk about. Dd was only a year older than this when she reached puberty.

cory, you're right, you can't control what they talk about, and nobody is saying that you should, except that in this case a mum is clearly upset about it and has asked the op to have a word with her daughter. Would it really hurt the op to do this, to explain that while she's right and FC doesn't exist, other children do believe so could she please not say anything to them about it? Is that really so hard????

It's only polite to say to your dd: 'Some of the other children still believe so please be careful what you say.' Can be a good thing, making the children who don't feel all grown up and special for keeping it going for the little ones (although admittedly a bit awkward when its children the same age).

I do object to calling FC a lie. It's not a lie, it's a story. Myth and legend may not be literally true, but it turns out neither is international finance - all that money the banks were lending didn't really exist. Grown ups just choose to believe different stories to children.

And unlike the ruddy banks, myth and legend are important - the same stories crop up in different cultures and hold good for hundreds of years. Fairy stories are parables about growing up and finding your place in the world. Finally, stories are fun and we all need a bit of fun as well as mundane reality.

I've just asked my DC's and two of their friends who are here about the Great Father Christmas myth.

My DD told me that one girl in her class refused to believe Father Christmas was made up as her mother had told her, when she asked, that he was real. DD says that her classmates teased her terribly until her mother finally caved and told the truth. DD says the girl in question was furious with her mother for making her look like an idiot.

All 4 say that finding out the truth was fine, no emotional scarring, etc.

And your point is......?

This op was about another mother asking the op to have a word with her daughter. Not about whether we should or shouldn't tell our dcs whether FC is real or not!!!!

You see Edam that is exactly my problem how do you say, keep quiet for the little ones and by the way D in your class still believes too without making D look a bit of a plonker especially as D is the oldest girl and my DD is one of the youngest.

Just ask your dd not to say to anyone else. Involve her in building a pretty story for the younger ones.

katie if my ds asked me if fc existed I would tell him the truth that no he doesn't. He hasn't asked me directly yet just meandered around the subject a little which makes me think he is on the cusp. I don't want to spoil it for him this year as I know next year he definitely won't believe. Interestingly we were talking about this in the playground last week and the majority of ds class still believe they are in yr 4

"My point is..............." once your DC's are old enough to ask they should be told the truth. Or they run the risk of looking like an idiot, tis all.

hiuge over reaction from andie

Exactly. Once your dc's are old enough to ask. And I agree with you, but this wasn't what this post was supposed to be about.

Pointy that is the pointy, she isn't a younger one she is an older one, it all feels a bit wrong and 8 is a good age for it to end, I've had 7 years, they've done well to get 8.

Good andiem.

My thoughts were with the little girl who having been told that FC is not real, obviously shared this with her mother, who attempted to sustain the myth by asking KatieDD to shush her child. IMO the mother should have sucked it up and said "Well, actually darling........"

Cruel to be kind, IMO.

They've done really well to get 8 years, but who are you to decide when is a good time for it to end for anyone else??

What was it about this woman's request that pissed you off so much? Was it the request itself or are you a little bit annoyed that their dc's still believe whilst yours doesn't?

KDD - I meant she cvould build the story for her younger sisters, not her classmzates!

They are 8. This is exactly what will happne. A few children will suss it out and will tell others. Doesn't matter at all. But you could also ask your dd not to tell her classmates in case they still beleive.

well we don't know what went on between the other mum and her child all we know is that katie d thinks the other kids should suck it up and get over it
bit harsh imoh

OMG- no he does he does he is real other wise who brings the presents?? [sobbing emotion]

I only went to the library and come back to this

My DS is 7 and def still believes. I will be disappointed when he finds out the truth. And I would be a bit pee'd off if he was told at 8 by someone in school. I really don't think you are being asked anything terrible. All you have to do is say to your DD that she has found out but that lots of her friends still believe and she should keep it to herself. What is so hard about that? And what is so unreasonable about it?

I know 10 year olds that still believe completely by the way.

ladymariner - that's quite rude of you.
It was the fact that she had the cheek to ask to be honest I wouldn't have dreamt of asking that of another parent. If my child was upsetting somebody else or name calling or something of course I'd have a chat but this seemed so petty and in the middle of other issues I have going on with the school and at home, which she knows about, I did rather think get over yourself and be glad if that's all you have to worry about today.

a close jewish friend of mine told her dd when she was 6 as she was asked to write a letter to santa at school and got all upset about it as they obviously don't celebrate xmas
her dd kept it secret until her classmates started to find out for themselves

The children really don't care who brings the presents as long as they arrive. Father Christmas is for the parents, not the children IMO.