Just seen the worst nappy change ever :-(

[Sunfield]

Earlier today I took my 3yr old into the changing room in a local precinct, another mum was already there dealing with her young daughter. Her son who must have been at least 4yrs wasnt in a nappy but had obviously just had an accident ! He patiently watched as mum changed his younger sister and I expected her to simply dry him off and change his clothing.

What I didnt expect to see was once she cleaned him up she produced a terry from the changing bag promptly folded it on her knee, grabbed the now nervous 4yr old and despite his obvious distress held him down while the nappy was pinned into place :-(

I've never seen a child so distressed, but from what I could see it was a regular thing after an accident. Mum just ignored any crying or tantrums and before you could blink the nappy was on.

Not a pleasant sight but this mum sure knew how to get a nappy on a wriggler in double quick time !

And she thinks traumatising this 4 year old is an appropriate way to deal with accidents?

not sure why you are so distressed? maybe the boy has continence issues and this is how the mother has been advised to deal with it? maybe he is just out of nappies, and is not 4 years old? could be a big 3 year old

I never understood that logic; my DH used to put a nappy on our DS after an accident. What for? His bladder is empty now!

I'm sorry, lulumama, but if a child has continence issue it the parents' responsibilty \to help the child by reminding them to use the toilet. We are the adults, they are the children, not the other way around.

It could well be that the child did have continence problems as Lulumama suggests but it did seem strange putting a nappy on after an accident !

What was most striking was the way she simply got on with the job without any qualms, simply grabbing hold of him pinning him down on her knee and ignoring any fuss.

To be fair it did at least mean the nappy was put on a fast as possible although he clearly hated every second of it :-(

Did she have a change of clothes for him?

Maybe it was a one off accident, and she just decided to put a nappy on for the car journey home or something, or becuase she had no pants with her...who knows.

I bet she's a mumsntter though.

maybe she had to do it quickly? Its less distressing that way. We have to shower dd 4 at light speed as she screams in terror every time. No amount of gentleness stops the screaming. So we whip her clothes and nappy off, park her in her supportive chair, wash and soap her then get her out. Takes one minute exactly.
Fast is best.

I was expecting at least that the mum just used the dirty nappy to give a pooey bum a quick wipe before fastening a new nappy onto a dirty backside that was red and sore. seems you have a little too much time.

this sounds too familiar, I think this could be me you're talking about. Had to change my name though.

anonymouseone - give your side of it then.

I recently took ds 4.5 to a mother and baby room after he had wet himself, i changed dd and then put a terry on ds, it is something if often do if i am out and he has an accident. I had just lost ds in a shop and i was very late for an appointment that is why it would appear to have been a stressful moment.

Wait till you're so hungover that you put the nappy on the baby's head and shove a rusk up its arse...

Oh dear lord - as well as when we should wean and what pushchair we are driving mumsnetters are now apparently concerned about how we change our childs nappies and indeed all toilet training protocol may be subject to analysis?
Ok op 1) not everybody will parent as you do. 2) Children often cry and struggle when engaged in the activities of normal living. This does not scar them for life. 3) Maybe you should mind your own business - or wait outside the changing room till it is free if the activities therein concern you so much.

NorthernLurker, thank you for the life-line there

anonymousone - my dd1 didn't toilet train until 3.5. I've had a bellyful of people telling me how I should do things!

Sometimes putting a nappy on is the easiest option at the time. I didn't have any spare pants for ds but had some spare terry nappies.

Oh God, Anonymousone please don't tell me you're serious and the OP is actually talking about you?! That is hilarious if you're serious, talk about the OP being busted bitching!

or it's someone having a conversation with themselves......

I like to think it's the real deal just so that I can titter to myself at random moments throughout the day (yes my life is that boring!!), although I concede that bit's much more likely to be a wind-up, but I live in hope!

There always one in life..or in the case more than...

This thread is surreal.

It is a little odd to put a nappy on after an accident as the child's bladder is empty but hey ho we all do things our way. I'm sure I have my own parenting quirks too. Strange that you felt the need to comment on it. It isn't like she was being cruel or anything.

Somedays I wonder if I'm being watched by the mumsnet police but I haven't read any threads on my parenting methods yet. I think I will run down my high street juggling greggs sausage rolls and fruitshoots whilst dressed in a boden spotty coat and see if I get noticed by the mumsnet police.

I told you she was a mumsnetter!

Now, Sunfield, would you like to tell us why you needed to take your 3 yo into the changing room - are they not prtty trianed yet?

Hello. I am new but just had to say that I too will use a nappy for my 'big' nearly 4 year old. She is a great leaky wetter (!) and will not poo on the toilet and so get stressed and will hold for days without a nappy on!! I would happily whip a nappy on her in public and it has never ever entered my head that I may be judged!! In my defence I have brought up two other children who happily went into pants under three without the need for potties and with hardly an accident at all! I do believe very strongly that most children will do things eventually and we need to be relaxed about it!!!