Just seen the worst nappy change ever :-(

[Sunfield]

Earlier today I took my 3yr old into the changing room in a local precinct, another mum was already there dealing with her young daughter. Her son who must have been at least 4yrs wasnt in a nappy but had obviously just had an accident ! He patiently watched as mum changed his younger sister and I expected her to simply dry him off and change his clothing.

What I didnt expect to see was once she cleaned him up she produced a terry from the changing bag promptly folded it on her knee, grabbed the now nervous 4yr old and despite his obvious distress held him down while the nappy was pinned into place :-(

I've never seen a child so distressed, but from what I could see it was a regular thing after an accident. Mum just ignored any crying or tantrums and before you could blink the nappy was on.

Not a pleasant sight but this mum sure knew how to get a nappy on a wriggler in double quick time !

Hello worrypant, welcome to mumsnet I agree that children will do things eventually and in their time. My oldest was out of nappies and into pants under 3, my ds was out of nappies at 3.5, however he does still have accidents, that is why i still occasionally put a nappy on him. I personally prefer to change a nappy than keep changing and washing clothes. I know of children 5 and 6 who still wear nappies to bed or on long car journeys. I think it is down to us mums to bring up our children how we feel is best for them and not to live in the fear of being judged by others.

Forgive me if my original posting seemed judgemental, that wasn't how it was intended and I apologise if thats how it came across.

You are right Anoymousone its entirely your descision if you want to put a nappy on your 4.5 yr old. I don't know wether you have put one on him in view of others or if he gets upset when you do and that again is your descision

I guess I was just a little shocked at what I saw completely out of the blue

This has made me angry !!

My dd although potty trained, and wears knickers, suffers from encopresis, which is when poo leaks out incontrollably and she soils her pants 10 times a day.
Hence if she starts and soils herself, she is put into nappies straight away, to prevent shitty knickers and make it easier for us to clean up.

So to OP- Butt out and mind your own business

OP how did you know the age of the boy? My 2.8 yo DS is mistaken for a 4 year old everywhere we go. He is extremely tall. He is potty trained, but I would not hesitate to stick one of DD's nappies on him if I had a great big messy incident in a shopping centre.

How many other mums here agree that it's ok to put a nappy on a 4.5 year old? I just want to be sure I'm not the odd one out here.

Well I'm sure it is ok to do that but would you do it on your knee infront of others if he was nervous ?

anon, up until last month, my 5 year old was wearing nappies on a night.

I don't think anyone can judge what age a child should/shouldn't do certain things and there can be a whole host of reasons why someone might put a nappy on a 4 year old.
If it was my daughter and I thought she may wet herself again, I would do the same. Especially if I had no more spare clothes!
In fact knowing me, I wouldn't have the spare clothes to start with

DS screams blue murder every time we change his nappy - nothing physically wrong with him, no nappy rash or any other affliction, he just HATES having a nappy on (he's only 13 months so is stuck with it for a while yet!).

Anyone who heard or saw me changing his nappy would think I was torturing him from the screams.

my dd screams blue murder if i ask her to go to the toilet. if i don't force her too she then screams blue murder when i have to change her wet clothes.

in fact dd screams blue murder about lots of things, toilet related and otherwise and i generally do just get on with whatever needs to be done as if she's not making a peep as pandering to her or trying to reason with her has absolutely no affect whatsoever on the screaming whereas getting the job over and done with asap results in less screaming overall.

maybe the boy is like my dd and wets between 2 and 10 timkes a day and she was down to her last pair of pants for him and still had an hour or two's shopping to do and decided it was the lesser of 2 evils to have him in a nappy rather than walk him around with wet pants for the rest of the day?

you don't know the situation and you certainly don't have much grasp of the meaning of the word 'worst' worst would have been taking a pooey nappy off and not cleaning the poo of the babies bum, or cleaning with a flash wipe instead of a baby wipe. worst is not putting a child into a nice cloth nappy with the minimum of fuss.

have you considered that the fact that you were waiting and watching may have been making her rush a bit as well? she may have felt guilty keeping you waiting while she dealt with 2 kids so didn't plead and coerce him like she usually would but simply got on with it to get out of your way.

If I was out with DS1 and he had an accident and I had no clean pants on me, I'd rather put one of DS2's nappies on him than take him home starkers!!
Of course its not odd to put a nappy on after and accident. If the pants are wet what else will you do?
Plus just because they've just had a wee doesnt mean they wont ever wee again! Could be another one just round the corner

and as for a childs bladder beig empty right after they wet.... dd has been known to go through 3 pairs of pants in half an hour big pees too, not dribbles.... lord knows how she does it but it's exhausting if i'm trying to do the shopping and every time i look at her her pants are soaked

Sunfield - The person you saw could be me, at least your story sounds very familiar. On that particular day I had lost ds in a shop and i was very late for an appointment, I had no spare clothes and putting a nappy on him was the easiest option. My mind was focused on getting to my appointment. I have used Terries on all my kids and sometimes the easiest and quickest way is to do it quick.

I appreciate you say you use terries but what I'm saying is surely on the day you were in a rush you didnt grapple with him over your knee and struggle with safety pins like it was a regular event

so what if it's a regular event?

she didn't hurt him, shout abuse at him or do anything paticularily traumatising to him which is more than i can say for alot of parents i see out in the shops.

you have no idea what it's like with a child who wets themselves repeatedly when you're trying to do things..... sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to get through the day and if that means putting a nappy on the child when you run out of clothes then so what if some stranger in the changing room disapproves?

My DD is a lot like PinkTulips DS and often has several accidents a day. If we are out I have limited clothes changes with me so do resort to putting her in a nappy sometimes. And yes I do it over my knee sometimes because otherwise she kicks me. And sometimes when she has wet herself 3 times in an hour but has refused to do anything on the toilet despite me reminding her and putting her on the toilet I even threaten her with a nappy (she hates nappies). So go on, judge me.

Oh do sod off Sunfield, I really don't see your problem other than the fact that you're a nosy busy-body. It wouldn't have been public if you weren't standing their staring at her change her son, and quite frankly, if he's 4 years old and she's also got a second, she'll have had more than enough time to perfect the art of putting on a terry. Putting a child over your knee to put it into a clean nappy because she has no pants is not shocking, you need to get a grip.

It's all very well saying it's not traumatising but to some 4+ yr olds I'd imagine having a nappy put on outside the home is quite distressing.

I can't believe many would honestly do it to a 4yr old in a semi puplic area like a mother and baby room if the child was distressed by it.

Lets be honest, if you had just faced the shock of losing your ds/dd in a shop, you were now very late for an appointment, your ds is also very upset and has had an accident, also you dd needs changing and you had no spare clothes for ds, how would you feel? Calm and relaxed or slightly stressed?!! That was my situation at that time. DS does still occasionally wear a nappy, feel free to judge me for it, I really do not care.

not sure what the problem is? She just put a nappy on him.

Sunfield, you really are a nosy so-and-so, aren't you? Jesus, give it a rest. No one is interested in how you think others should parent.

Sunfield, really don't see the problem. would you have left baby on chaging table, taken ds in a cubicle and changed him on the (probably filthy) floor? or left him wet? surely that would have been more traumatising!?

I just don't get this thread. It reminds me of the lunchbox thread we had a while back - surreal OP who as revjustabout says, seems shocked that a mum was changing a nappy quickly and efficiently with no fuss! In a "semi-public area" -er, no that is not really how most people think of the baby change room!!!

Sunfield, would it be better if the woman had been fumbling and incompetent? Why were you so interested in what she was doing? I just don't get it!

You're right Bella, this reminds me of the random lunchbox thread!