At 3.00 this morning I had a revalation: My wishy washy baby led parenting is a big bucket of poo.

[BroccoliSpears]

I co-sleep.
I bf on demand.
I waited to 26 weeks to BLW.

And as a result I have not had more than 90 minutes sleep in a row for quite a while now.

I spent many hours last night feeling feverishly jealous of my friends who all weaned on to mush at 4 months and "taught the baby to go to sleep by himself" and "didn't make a rod for their own back" and put the baby in a cot on its own in its own room and potty trained their 2-year-olds with sticker charts so no longer have 2 children in nappies. It all seemed suddenly clear - I think they are right and I'm a mug. A sleep deprived, well intentioned, damp hen.

BS - which clock did you get? the one that lights up? i'm thinking of getting the thomas one for ds1. my nights feeds (up 3 times for ds2 last night, fed twice) are bleeding into toddler getting up time too...ds1 up at 2.30 & 4.45, then 6.50.
i have had days start at 4.30 what with the 2 of them. and my dh is away lots too - always on the worst days/nights of course.
i WISH mine would co-sleep, esp with dh away. if they would come in, curl up and snooze i'd be in bliss!
but it's never worked for ds1, he just fidgets & chats, etc. and never really got round to trying with ds2.

Good luck with the clock - we need something as our smiley/sad face chart just isn't working....

JSKIF - see here. I recommend buying a more expensive one!!

Oh bad luck!!
i'm thinking of this one
Have only seen it for 30-odd pounds before, so may get this one.

I think it might work better than the bunny because of the lights.
Though the timer on a normal light might work well too...but can i leave a 2 year old alone in a room with a small lamp to play with

Same one! Mine is just ITNG themed.

It would be brilliant if I could work it!

Agree that there can be a middle ground. I bf on demand for a year, never co-slept but had baby in room until started sleeping through, had a bedtime routine. Didn't wean until 26 wks but did it the 'traditional' way as was terrified of choking. Shall do the same this time around as it worked for us last time and ds has turned out great.

Bozza - a lot to be said for middle ground.

At 4.5 months I realised that feeding on demand wasnt working for either of us. I was knackered, she over fed and was full of wind.

I remember one day not breast feeding to see how much milk she would actually drink in a bottle and the guzzler had a 7oz bottle every 2 hours!! Monkey. No wonder I was tired.

At 5 months, I moved to formula and put her in her own room (partially breast fed, more for my sake) and my life improved dramatically. She occassionally woke in the night but rarely, I always went to her but just soothed her. With bottles, I could be confident that she was well fed.

I weaned at 5.5 months (tried to get to 6!) and again life improved dramatically for all of us. I wonder whether she had spent 6 months hungry?!

co-slept a few nights but was never going to be a long term solution for us.

If it makes you feel any better, DD was weaned at 6 months and DS at 4, and neither of them slept through till much later. Sticker charts work for some but not for others. They are no guarantee of early potty training. Re: sleep training, my experience is that a baby needs to be re-taught to sleep by itself every time you go on hoiday/it feels unwell, and this goes on for at least 2 years. If you take a hard line approach, thats alot of crying.

I do think your sleep has to be a priority, and if co-sleeping isn't working for you, don't do it. However, as others have said there is a middle ground.

Just read thread in a bit more detail - I really feel for you. DH travelled alot in DD's first year (though not as much as your DH). I can remember both children (DS was 3) waking up before 5 and not going back to sleep (having fed DD 4 times during the night) and that dreadful feeling that you have a whole day ahead of you and not being quiet sure how you are going to cope.

I do think that 'baby led parenting' tends to be easier if you either have only one child or have somebody else to pitch in at relevant points throughout the day. Decide what you want to do about potty training - whatever is easiest for you. However, its not possible to cope single handed for extended amounts of time with young children without sleep. Would it be possible to either move the baby in with you in a cot or for you to make up a temporary bed in your baby's room so that you wouldn't have to get too far out of bed to do feeds, but to try to reduce the amount of night feeds?

BS-just wanted to add my support you are amazing for coping alone-I have a 3 month old non stop nightfeeder DD-co-sleeping but not really sleeping IYSWIM and a 3.3 yr old at nursery 5 mornings a week and I am totally knackered. Look you've said yourself your older one mainly sleeps through (apart from that annoying 5 am waking up and jumping all over mummy and the new baby thing-mine does the same) so you know you've done it once and can do it again.
I would second feeding up during day but also try and get the 6 month old to settle themselves to sleep without the boob? I did this with DS for daytime naps when he was 5 or 6 months and it was fantastic-some wise MNetter suggested it-meant that I was more awake and therefore stronger and could cope with the crying-really only cried the first time though. Once you know they are well fed during the day and can settle themselves to sleep not on the breast then you can try cutting out night feeds-however I found DH invaluable for this as DS would settle for him but not me at first. Good Luck and your DH is very lucky to have you as are your two children. Oh and once you are better rested potty training will be a doddle.