Under what circumstances + for how long would you be ok with leaving the house while your dc are sleeping?

[thesleepingbeauty]

I have a (rare!) girls night out coming up in October, and I've decided to get the train into town as I'll be having a few drinks.
Dh will be looking after ds, and probably dropping me off at the station, or I'll walk (only 10min).

Coming back is a bit of a problem though, as dh doesn't want me walking home on my own at that time of night (even though I'd have no problem with it, unless it's pissing down with rain!).

Anyway, do you think it's an option for dh to leave ds sleeping and pick me up from the station? Or is that a complete no-no? It would mean he's out of the house for 10mins at the most. I admit I've left ds sleeping while I go down to the utilities room to put a wash on or hang a wash up and been gone longer than that, but somehow that doesn't seem such an issue.

What do you think?

PS Cabs are not really an option as there aren't any cab firms in our village, and the few times I've tried arranging one have ended up with me standing outside the train station on my own waiting and waiting and waiting...I could have walked it in that time!

I wouldn't do it, it could be just those 10 minutes that something goes badly wrong-it isn't worth the risk.

I know my sons' sleeping patterns by heart but there is ALWAYS the exception to the rule. A friend of mine left her daughter sleeping in her cot to collect her son from nursery (10 min round trip) and when she told me I was really really really shocked. I don't think I showed it on my face but I was. I mean FGS, everyone WANTS at some point to nip out, it's a mare delaying or breaking into the LO's sleep to have to collect the older one for eg, but I would NEVER actually do it.

Don't worry I'm sure I do alot of other things people wouldn't agree with. Just not this one.

im sure the police or ss would be interested actually!its neglect and putting your child in danger.

I would say no no no BUT I am suprised so many other people are, there was a thread a while back where lots of people were saying they popped to shops, neighbours etc etc regularly and left their dcs'

at 18 months though

'Her father lives opposite and had the keys ', so why couldn't he babysit?

he could have styed with his own child at least until the arranged babysitter got there surely?!!

LOL because he had about 95 starlets on his casting couch that afternoon - he was working, as parents are wont to do....

Oh fgs cheesesarnie, are you reading my posts?
My dh is not ok with leaving our ds alone, and neither am I - I posted the question to see what others thought as, as I have mentioned, people I know would be fine with doing this and I wanted to see if my pov was in fact a bit over-cautious.

Babysitter's father, not my DD's father.

But you know, each to her own, I am completely OK with leaving all the children on their own for short periods of time from a young age but it depends on all kinds of things - how childproof your house is, how safe from predators, how well your child sleeps, whether he/she would panic if he/she woke up alone...

My DD (3.10) asked a few months back of her own accord if she could wait alone while I went out for 5/10 minutes...

aw bless her
maybe she wanted to hunt for the matches

When I have been in a similar situation I walk home on my own, but I ring dh the second I am leaving and he knows exactly how long it takes me to get home from where I am. That way if I don't turn up at home the minute expected he can then make the decision to get ds out of bed to come and find me. Not that he has ever had to do that. I don't think that walking home on my own is that dangerous as long as someone knows exactly where/when I am, but then I have a friend who won't let me get a taxi home on my own, I have to text her to say I have got home OK!

yes i am reading.i hope you have a lovely night out.and i am extremly pleased youve chosen not to leave your child alone.

I think it is an awful idea, please don't do it. Kids are precious things, you would never forgive yourself if something happened.

If you can't walk home alone, and no-one can watch your child for a few mins, just get DH to wrap him up warm and take him with him. I have done this before and DS didn't even wake.

if you are worried about walking home in the dark why don't you stay at a friends for the night
then you get a lovely lie in without your dc waking you up

.....my behaviour would doubtless shock you all.

I frequently leave all 4 to go to the corner shop for bread, milk or similar, or leave the older urchins (11, 9) at home whilst I take/fetch the 7 year old twins to clubs etc.

.....and no, there are (usually) no friendly, helpful neighbours, relatives or other parents.

Consequently it is the choice. Take all 4 to get a pint of milk (taking the requisite amount of time to bully them into going, followed by endless requests for sweets/comics etc) or I leave them for 15 minutes or so.

I know I am a Bad Man, and await the knock on the door from a social w**ker as a result of this post......

.....but I think the risk is small, compared with the risk to my sanity of doing otherwise.

think of madeleine macann! You never know who's about. Better to wake them or take them in car seats. Could you ever forgive yourself if there was some sort of accident?

At 11, 9, 7 and 7 they can stay on their own easily.

Really, this thread is madness.

leaving 11 and 9 year olds at home, that's not like an 18 month old late at night though is it.

hmmm...I would get the milk while they are at school.

I'm not sure I follow - why is it better to leave older children who might wake up, get up realise you've gone rather than a baby who at worst might wake up and cry until you get back in?

personally I wouldn't leave a 9 year old late at night, 11 years old - would depend on the child.

But leaving them while you take younger kids to a club, fair enough, they know you've gone and know who to call if a problem/get out if there's a fire etc. A baby in a cot.....can't get out, and even if it tries, might injure itself and lie injured til you get back.

goodness, it makes my spine chill thinking about it.

An 11 year old, 9 yr old and 7 year old are completely different. I used to pop out leaving my 11 yr old in charge if I was just getting milk. I had a mobile and he was perfectly responsible.

I agree Abbey, I leave my 9 year old while I pop to the shop (walking), but I take my 4 year old as I don't trust him! This is during the daytime, and he knows he could always run to neighbours if a problem. Also he knows a few phone numbers he could call.

The thought of leaving a baby at night while out driving though.....

Under no circumstance can I imagine having a good enough reason to leave my sleeping toddler in the house alone. Not even one.

My (hypothetical) 3.10 year old, if asking to stay home, would be told that she was too young and could when she was older.

I think 11 is a touch young, but probably 13 is OK.

Anna, I agree with you and am amazed at the hysteria re police and social services. Odd how when Madeleine Mccann went missing (and still no evidence of abduction by the way)the majority of mumsnetters were falling over themselves to excuse the parents going out EVERY night to a bar leaving three toddlers alone in an stragen apartment by a busy road and a swimming pool, and yet make such a enormous fuss about popping out for 10 minutes.