I cannot encourage my dd1 to do her 10 mins reading or practice her times tables with me so I have decided to stop asking her to do it

[PoorOldEnid]

as I am absolutely sick of badgering her to read (the school asks that they read aloud for 10 mins every day). She hates it. And she fusses every time I remind her to practice her times tables. She is almost 9, in year 4

so I have given up and told her that I have given up, I have said if she wants me to listen or help I will, but from now on I am not going to remind her.

Is that sensible or crap and defeatist?

Good luck with making the appt Enid. No personal experience of dyslexia but do know from friends' experiences that it can manifest in hard-to-spot and complex presentations, so please don't feel guilty.
Describing your dd1 has clearly rung bells with knowledgeable posters, but IME it does sometimes happen that a school or novice parent will not spot a wily dyslexic like dd1 could well be.
Even now some students do not realise that they have some form of dyslexia until they reach HE. Honest.

Knowledgeable posters - may I hijack for a second as you are here - sorry Enid!

DS, 7 (just), free reader (never any probs there), inverts any asymmetric letter/number, spelling poor but phonetically plausible, writing beyond dreadful.

We have waited and seen for a year. Should I get more pushy now?

god I love this thread. Ds1 isn't dyslexic but is struggling sooo much with his reading and homework at the moment.

We also have read to him since day 1, have a house piled high with books, but it's all such a struggle for him.

He's just started year 2 and gets writing homework each weekend - he sits there sobbing his heart out and I feel like such a cow for being calm and telling him he has to get it done.

Sigh. Dp goes bonkers with him so isn't allowed to be in the same room...

He just hates reading and writing. I can't see him ever free reading - the thought of him picking up a book through choice is just bizarre.

I just hate seeing him sitting there crying and telling me he's rubbish when he's 6 years old and I don't think should have any pressure at all put on him to do homework.

Aaarrgghhh....

enid - hope you get it sorted

We have a reluctant reader, but have had some success by:

regular library trips, even if the books are not read. If he won't choose, I just bring some home so at least there is new stuff there.

nonfiction, even if they seem (to me) to be aimed at younger children. Animals go down well. Also comics.

reading a paragraph or a sentence in turn, so DS wants to read to find out what happens next but doesn't have the whole burden, IYSWIM. Have you tried ths Enid?

a regular timeslot - just before the Simpsons (which he wants to watch) for school reading, a regular joint read at bedtime.

No concerns about dyslexia for DS, but I still reckon they'd help your DD in the long term. And you wouldn't have to buy her a car!!

Dotty, I hate all this pressure to make very little children do homework. Could you have a chat with his teacher and explain that it would be a good idea to lay off the stuff that is making him so miserable?

There is no point, it seems to be, in imposing something that is upsetting the child and turning them off school/reading/writing/maths etc. etc. etc. And some educationalists reckon homework is worse than pointless, actually damaging (can't cite references though).

I have no experience of reluctant readers (dd not old enough) or dyslexia but I just wanted to echo what Marina said about people not always knowing that they are dyslexic until they are older and tell you about someone I work with - she didn't find out she was dyselxic until she was in her 40's but now she knows about it and has coping strategies she finds things much easier

So don't feel bad, Enid, if it turns out that she is dyslexic - easily missed in people who are also bright and manage to cover their tracks imo.

I hate homework for very little children too - and say so, often and loudly. But I don't think that reading practice counts as homework - and I'm not sure that 9 really counts as very little. I would prefer a school where there was no homework except reading practice until year 6, but if the school sets it, then by year 4 I do think it needs to be done. What sort of message is sent to the child about the importance of school otherwise?

This is a general point, BTW - not directed at the OP at all!

I've now read the thread properly. Dotty, I think that 6 really does count as VERY little when it comes to homework - and I agree you should talk to the teacher about how sad it's making him.

yy seeker I agree 10 mins reading a night is a piece of poo really

dd2 doesnt flinch at hers

and dd1 LoVES her proper homework (they only get this once a week)

its just the reading

oh and the times tables

It's looking more and more like dyslexia, or at least some specific difficulty, Enid - why would a child who actually enjoys learning hate reading and times tables?

I really hope investigating dyslexia leads you to the answer, Enid, btw, really feel for poor dd (and you).

Eek, I'm a teacher so you probably will all want to lynch me, but I would really persevere, as she is likely to struggle further up the school if she doesn't engage now. Is she on horrid reading scheme books? In which case I would speak to her teacher about other options. IMO any reading is better than none, even if it's a magazine or a website.

At school anything on the computer seems to be more appealing for those who aren't keen. Try www.starfall.com for reading support in quite a fun way (although v. American ) or www.coxhoe.durham.sch.uk/curriculum/Numeracy for loads and loads of really good maths games - moon maths lets them hit aliens over the head to answer x tables questions.

Good luck. Go for the bribes too. Sounds like she's a bit fed up with school...is she getting the support she needs?