Is this normal? Jools Oliver avoids playdates because she worries about whether the other mums at their school drive safely and stap their children in

[onceinalifetime]

Interview with Jools Oliver (doesn't want to be in the public eye but launching new book ).

Anyone else this paranoid?

"Jools admits to being a 'total control freak' as a mother, to the point where she avoids play dates for her girls because she worries about whether the other mums at their school 'drive safely and strap their children in'.

She screams with laughter when I mention the hand wash (which has the antibacterial strength to resist MRSA) in her downstairs loo, acknowledging that she is very 'overprotective' of her girls, which sometimes causes friction between her and Jamie.

'I find it hard to let go, even when Jamie has them. He always tells me to stop phoning him to check on them ? I drive him mad! I never bother him when he's at work, but when he has the kids I will ring to say, "Have you eaten yet, because it's one o'clock?" or, "Don't get Daisy's new dress muddy."

'We took them to Disneyland in Paris and Jamie insisted on taking them on rides they weren't tall enough to go on and I said, "I hate you for this."

'But I know they need the balance. They need Jamie to give them some germs, some mud and some danger,' she says, with a resigned expression on her face.

Jools is blessed with an openness and an honesty that, at times, makes you feel as protective towards her as she is to her family. She worries terribly about how she will cope as her children grow older.

No matter how she protects them now and attempts to instil in them sound values (she is a stickler for 'good manners', making the girls write thank-you letters for birthday presents, and always 'minding their Ps and Qs'), she is aware of the dangers of the teenage years.

'Keeping your virginity is important; it's part of growing up properly. I am not religious, but that is one of my main concerns for my girls ? no drugs, no smoking, and please don't have sex, girls, until you are?well, old enough. I don't mean you have to be married, but I just don't want any abortions. It's not that I disagree with those things, it's just that I want them to do what I did, really.'

But the worries of bringing her two daughters safely to adulthood haven't put Jools or Jamie off the idea of extending their family."

No it was me Fio, thoroughly confusing post

I dont let DS (5) go on playdates without me, so I'd better go and hide

I also wouldnt let him go in a car with somebody unless I trusted their driving and knew they had the correct seat etc. Dont have a problem with school coaches etc as trust the teachers and the driver obviously has a lot of experience.

We all have different ideas of what we consider safe for our children, some people let 3 year olds play out in the street others dont - its down to the parent to decide whats safe and what isnt.

As for Jools, I think she comes across as a great mother.

All these z-list celebrity fuckwits peddling crap, callling themselves 'experts' when they have no professional qualifications with regard to the often stupid or bleeding obvious 'advice' they give, no experience of working with other people whose lives are not like theirs, and little or no imagination, are fair game. ANd if they don't like what the public say about them, my response is: 'fuck off and go and cry in a big pile of money.'

pmsl at LittleBella

I dont think she is trying to sell herself as a better mother because she is "neurotic".

These are her views on parenting and life. You dont have to buy them, buy into them. hell, you dont even have to read them. But, you should have enough respect for her to have her own thoughts and views - we're not sheep after all.

how many books has she written?i like her.

She seems nice enough to me. We all have things we are a bit neurotic about.

I know a funny story about The Olivers. Doesn't anyone want to hear it?

when dd's go on playdates they generally er walk to their friends' houses

jools IBU, imo

and ought to Get A Life instead of Gazing At Herself

Yes, Squeaver, we want to hear it. Spill!

over here hobnob

LOL at people getting upset at being bitchy to her.

She's entitled to her views. And we're all entitled to disagree with her.

I feel particularly disturbed about her comments about virginity, as if it's some kind of talisman.

agree LittleBella - when I post my views on Mumsnet I expect to bear the brunt of collective opinion and I don't even get to have her money to compensate.

(though I am not of course advocating being needlessly bitchy )

I wonder if the real reason she doesn't like her dc's going on playdates is because they are daughters of a big celebrity? Imagine the host's parent quizzing them about their dad Jamie. Imagine the embarassing things children are prone to say.

If I were Jules this thought would worry me more than the car journey.

Tiger, we have a number of children of well known people at my DCs school and they all go on playdates, hang out with other Mums etc.

I can understand the virginity thing a bit. And I do think that in this day and age unprotected sex at an early age is something to be concerned about. Possibly one of the few in her list that would be on mine actually. But what was weird for me was the bit about no abortions ...that's a bit odd to mention, isn't it?? Sounds likes she stays awake at night worrying about every conceivable danger which is a bit sad and neurotic but not evil.

Maybe she knows somebody who has had a traumatic experience having an abortion?

I preferably would not like my dd to have an abortion, teen pregnancy, smoke, do drugs etc... but I'd obviously would support her through the abortion / teen pregnancy and get her help for the smoking / drugs, but I'd prefer it not to happen.

Aren't they some of the "given" things that parents do not want for their children, but accept that they may happen?

Only read the OP:

"Jools is blessed with an openness and an honesty that, at times, makes you feel as protective towards her as she is to her family. "

Er, no, she sounds like a nutter who needs a tight slap to lighten up.

I wouldn't phrase it in that way though. I don't think of my dd's virginity. It simply isn't an issue. Her happiness, her self-esteem, her self-confidence, respect for herself, etc., yes, but virginity? No.

Maybe her daughters are driven some distance to a private school, or even if they live nearby their friends don't, the traffic/parking associated with the private school run is apparently a real issue in Hampstead.

(Buying into this far after it happened, I know...)

There seems to be three camps here, a small "I like Jools" camp, an "I dont care" camp, and those who like me are not at all impressed.

Refusing playdates? Acting as if no other mother in her daughters' circle are careful enough or good enough to be allowed to come in contact? Refusing to let her kids have treat food even at parties - instead of just promoting a sensible healthy diet in everyday life?
And I so totally agree with that "shrink wrap" comment. You put clothes on your child, they are going to get dirty. The rest of us just sigh and wash the clothes (ourselves, not the maid!), and maybe pack another outfit if we really wanted our child to stay looking clean. Oh, and constantly nagging at Jamie. He must love it.

And writing saintly books which net Her even more money and attention, while promoting the "cry-it-out" method - I know, some people have their reasons for using this method, but I am pretty strongly against it, and I hope other parent who read her books look at other options too before deciding.

And yes, I'm proud of this post, bitchiness and all, Jools has it coming if she is going to get interviewed and say stuff like this. :)

Just how odl is this thread ! Anyone think she might be more chilled by now ?

She is a grumpy loon.

That has nothing to do with the article you just quoted, she just is.