Is this normal? Jools Oliver avoids playdates because she worries about whether the other mums at their school drive safely and stap their children in

[onceinalifetime]

Interview with Jools Oliver (doesn't want to be in the public eye but launching new book ).

Anyone else this paranoid?

"Jools admits to being a 'total control freak' as a mother, to the point where she avoids play dates for her girls because she worries about whether the other mums at their school 'drive safely and strap their children in'.

She screams with laughter when I mention the hand wash (which has the antibacterial strength to resist MRSA) in her downstairs loo, acknowledging that she is very 'overprotective' of her girls, which sometimes causes friction between her and Jamie.

'I find it hard to let go, even when Jamie has them. He always tells me to stop phoning him to check on them ? I drive him mad! I never bother him when he's at work, but when he has the kids I will ring to say, "Have you eaten yet, because it's one o'clock?" or, "Don't get Daisy's new dress muddy."

'We took them to Disneyland in Paris and Jamie insisted on taking them on rides they weren't tall enough to go on and I said, "I hate you for this."

'But I know they need the balance. They need Jamie to give them some germs, some mud and some danger,' she says, with a resigned expression on her face.

Jools is blessed with an openness and an honesty that, at times, makes you feel as protective towards her as she is to her family. She worries terribly about how she will cope as her children grow older.

No matter how she protects them now and attempts to instil in them sound values (she is a stickler for 'good manners', making the girls write thank-you letters for birthday presents, and always 'minding their Ps and Qs'), she is aware of the dangers of the teenage years.

'Keeping your virginity is important; it's part of growing up properly. I am not religious, but that is one of my main concerns for my girls ? no drugs, no smoking, and please don't have sex, girls, until you are?well, old enough. I don't mean you have to be married, but I just don't want any abortions. It's not that I disagree with those things, it's just that I want them to do what I did, really.'

But the worries of bringing her two daughters safely to adulthood haven't put Jools or Jamie off the idea of extending their family."

Wow, I bet she's lovely really ... but what a frigging nightmare to have around!

As I watch other people bring up their children, I gain more and more insight into the sometimes frankly bizarre way some of my childhood peers behaved. Like the girl who wouldn't do PE because the field was muddy.

They are going to be wring books about their mother in 20 years "My childhood in an isolation ward"

She lives in London can't they walk and stop poluting the planet wiht their 4x4?

(They do have a 4x4 don't they?)

Doesn't she also go on to talk about wanting a boy.

Sounds like a fruitloop

Maybe she'll be next on mumsnet convos? book to promote and all that

ohhh Malory

go on tell us what you really think

I thought 'what a wet weekend'. And the extract from her book was nauseating.

I think there is a strongly held belief by many, to which Jools Oliver subscribes by the sound of it, that the more neurotic and overly protective you are, the better mother you are.

It seems to be a subversively competitive way of implying 'oh I'd never let my children do that as they are SO precious to me' implication being, if you allow such wantonly dangerous activities such as eating party food, going on roller coasters or exposing your chldren to mud, then you don't actually care about them that much.

I'd like to take a firm stand against this, n my opinion, dangerously neorotic parenting, and say it is better mothering to allow your children to take some risks, to suppress your deepest fears and personal paranoias, so that they can be free (or as free as possible) from your hang ups and develop a belief that life is good and to be abundantly enjoyed without constant fear.

But that's just me.

Maybe party food will ruin my children's lives, and Jools Oliver is right.

1dilemma - but she probably does have friends outside of walking distance in NW3 (despite her propensity for pissing off party hosts by taking their own food).

And of course she couldn't possibly use the tube...imagine the germs the children would encounter

Great post, Communion.

I know nothing about Jools Oliver. But anyone who can say in public, that keeping their virginity is one of the main concerns for their daughters (until when, pray?) is someone I suspect I might not get on with, in person.

And hearing that she said that she knows without a doubt that her DH would never have an affair, is the only thing that has ever made me want to sleep with Jamie Oliver.

Perhaps she's just a reluctant celeb as in the quote, "some have fame thrust upon them". She didn't seek fame so she probably doesn't have the personality to show-off with it. And perhaps that's prevented her from getting to know the other school mums well enough to not doubt their driving.

And of course she will be offered work because parenting is as popular as TV chefs are right now and she covers both. I probably wouldn't turn down a big bag of cash to trot out a book on how I run my household - and then you could all say, "coo, that DoN lets her DCs collect dirty chickens eggs, hasn't she heard of bird flu?, the daft bitch, blah, blah".

sounds like my dh.if he had his way we(the dc and i)would not-

leave the house(roads,poo,nasty people etc)
touch,smell,go near any dog
i cannot learn to drive as hed not trust me to be safe
dc wouldnt go to peoples houses
travel in cars not driven by himself

ummmmmmmmmmm trying to think of dh's other anal habits

Oh she's another slappable vacuous only-person-in-the-world-to-be-a-Mother, isn't she? Why do all these silly biffers think their own experiences are so universal when they are not, at all?

Her book crows that GF, "gives you your evenings back", but neglects to mention that the strict feeding routine gave her constant mastitis and ultimately a painful and premature end to BF.

...and the unutterable bitchiness continues.

Are you all really so bloody perfect? I can hardly believe what I am reading. Just because she is well known you seem to expect her not to have any faults.

I think you're actually feeing threatened because the things she says she prefers not to let her kids do, are things you think are Ok. That doesn't mean she is having a go at you as mothers!

Aren't we all allowed to decide what we think is Ok for our own kids or not?

Janni - the fact you've suffered an ED doesn't mean you know what she feeds her children. Does it? How can you possibly judge her based on some vague gossip?

I'm astounded at the comments on here.
It's playground nastiness, absolutely disgusting. I'm ashamed to even be on this thread.

Oh she's another slappable vacuous only-person-in-the-world-to-be-a-Mother, isn't she?

shes apoinytless ponce

and he is farkin annoying too with his massive tongue lolling baoit everywhere

They are going to be wring books about their mother in 20 years "My childhood in an isolation ward"

I bet these friends would dump her for that were she not Jamie's Mrs.

And I agree that she is dim and a bit sad. I read her first book and wondered how the hell her husband puts up with her!

Tell me you're proud of these comments.

If your personality tends towards being a bit of an anxious worrier then having kids can really exacerbate that side of you. You know it's irrational but there's this constant feeling of "but what if something BAD happens". She might do better offloading to a psychologist that a journalist TBH .

The thing is Flight - I think women's reactions to her are understandable.
There is untolerable pressure on parents, mothers particularly, to get everything 'right' and for thier lives to be 'perfect.'
Mrs Oliver, no doubt, does have a very ordered, organic, fragrant lifestyle. Good for her. Most of us can't. If she left it that, no harm done.
What irks is that she has gone one step further and is selling her lifestyle and parenting style. She is writing about it and giving interviews about it. That allows, I think, her 'public' to question the voaracity of her advice, tips, views etc.
If she expected her target audience - middle class Mums, to simply lap it up unquestioningly then she is either arrogant or, I suspect, foolish.
For one thing, how can she be the standard bearer of the SAHM when she is quite clearly a working author? As one myself, I can assure everyone that it does not leave suffiecient time for a 'perfect' homebaked, starched, spotless lifestyle.

Agree with Litchick.

Fio, only the very last line of that post was mine - the bit about being dim and sad was another quote from someone else on this thread... I have no idea if she is dim or sad or thoroughly delightful...

I should have used quotation marks.

I don't mind people disagreeing with her 'brand parenting' if that's what it is, but I don't see the need to be so blatantly horrid to her.

Try again:

Various People on this thread:

'Oh she's another slappable vacuous only-person-in-the-world-to-be-a-Mother, isn't she?'

'shes apoinytless ponce'

'and he is farkin annoying too with his massive tongue lolling baoit everywhere'

'They are going to be wring books about their mother in 20 years "My childhood in an isolation ward"'

'I bet these friends would dump her for that were she not Jamie's Mrs.'

'And I agree that she is dim and a bit sad. I read her first book and wondered how the hell her husband puts up with her!'

Flight:

Tell me you're proud of these comments.

BTW I didn't know she was marketing her lifestyle. It sounds as though she is aware of her failings, not trying to pretend to be perfect. But I haven't read enough to know for sure.