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Original poster

How often does your DP/DH take your DCs out without you and what do you do with your free time?

61 replies

webchick · 15/08/2008 00:19

I pose this question after reading the Motherhood dilemma thread (which was v enlightening to me). So.....

How often?
How many and how old are DCs?
How long are they out for? Overnight? Whole day, half day?
And what do you do with the time?

Here are my answers to kick off:

once a year (on average)
DD is 6, he's never taken both of them together and DS is now 1.5
Took DD camping overnight once when DS was a few months old, rest of days out have been to in-laws
I (sad to say) blitz the house, watch TV, perhaps go to cinema and get a takeaway.

How I would love to have a weekend away with some girl-friends.....

PS DH is v good with them, just never takes them out that often on his own; as hard as I try I'm always roped in for "family time".

OP posts:
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Bowddee · 15/08/2008 00:24

My answers are -

occasionally, if nagged
1 DS, 4yrs old
A couple of hours at the most
Hoovering

In fact DH only agrees to take DS out if I say I'm going to do the hoovering.

scanner · 15/08/2008 00:28

Regularly

DH has taken dc's out since dd1 was a few weeks old and I'd beg him to bring her back because my boobs were full and I had to feed her.

In terms of time, it can range for a couple of hours walk at the weekend to a few days away at the IL's.

Ashantai · 15/08/2008 00:45

scanner, wanna swap?

My oh only takes the kids out by himself if i strongly hint and by that i mean "for gods sake i need a break cant you take the kids out for a bit!!", i mean, such as i love my kids, we all need some "me time"

He's more of a babysitter on the rare occasions that i can scrape a few pennies together to go out and get a tad tipsy with my mates

I think i'd fall down faint, if he actually suggested to take the kids out all by himself

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yawningmonster · 15/08/2008 07:35

I could cut and paste Bowdees answer

crokky · 15/08/2008 07:41

DS (2.5) and DD (5 months). Never taken either of them out without me. Occasionally (once every 2 months) he may be able to take DS out for a walk for half an hour.

It's because he works very long hours.

farfaraway · 15/08/2008 07:47

hhmm,well i am usually driven to leave the house myself because he would never volunteer. Then sneak back later because I know he will have taken them out for pizza as can't handle preparing lunch and caring for DC.
Then I realise house has been trashed in the 1.5hrs I have been away and I probably tidy up!

popmonkey · 15/08/2008 08:17

DH sometimes takes DD1 & DD2 out at the weekend. Normally to a shop or to see his relatives.

They're usually gone about an hour or so.

I use the time to clear and clean the living room floor.

SoupKitchen · 15/08/2008 08:24

Dh has taken the children out of the house leaving me in it once in three and a half years.

He is quite happy to stay in with them of an evening when I go out( as long as they are in bed when I leave)

And twice he has had them overnight while I have been at different things.

I loved being in the house by myself though.

kslatts · 15/08/2008 08:27

During the football season dh takes our dd's out once a fortnight, he got them their own season tickets this year. They are gone about 6 hours and I usually tidy up a bit, take the dog for a long walk through the park or go shopping.

I also went away with my friends for the weekend a couple of years ago and he had them the whole weekend at home on his own, they had a great time as he took them to chessington, he even managed to keep the house tidy.

MissKubelik · 15/08/2008 08:32

DH regularly takes DD (3) out on his own and always has. He cares for her all day Saturday while I'm at work, then on Sunday he will usually take her out to the park or shops for a couple of hours. I use the time to lounge around and relax! I am a SAHM during the week and would go insane if I didn't get that break from childcare at the weekend. We have another one due in a few months and planning on carrying on in exactly the same way (breastfeeding permitting, obviously).

wearymum200 · 15/08/2008 08:36

DH takes DS (2.5) out most weekends, even if only to park or shops. Regularly go to local steam railway/ other attraction. What do i do with the time- work, housework, sleep!
Have occasionally had day out shopping with friend.
They have fun, but the house is always a bombsite when I get back!

Heifer · 15/08/2008 08:45

DH has only just started to take dd (4.5) out by himself. He was always more than happy for me to go out myself, but didn't often take DD anywhere.

These days he takes her fishing with him for around 3 hrs. In fact DD is often with DH over the weekend following him around, gardening,DIY, playing etc, so I do get a break.

Another SAHM during the week, so I think DD is sick of me by the time the weekend comes...

StellaWasADiver · 15/08/2008 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tommy · 15/08/2008 08:50

He ahs taken the DSSs to his Mum's for the weekend without me 3 times in 6 years once it was becuase I was working from home and needed the time to get on and the other two times I went away to conferences.

Normal day-to-day taking them out, only if I ask and it's a big work up and then he tries to make me feel guilty/grateful because he's going to have them.

The last time he took DS1 and 2 out on his own was because we had planned to go to a fete but I had to take DS3 to the emergency doctor on a Saturday!

renaldo · 15/08/2008 08:52

DH has the kids in Ireland while I am back at work - 6 nights ! really enjoying the break but cant wait to see them tonight..

threestars · 15/08/2008 08:58

DS is 4.
I used to work at weekends from when he was months - 2 years, so DH spent time with him (although at 7 months, I got "he woke up, but he didn't want a Kit Kat" (?!!!!)

no dad & son time then until 4 months ago when i gave birth again

goingslowlymad · 15/08/2008 09:07

my children are 14, 7, 5 and 1 and my DH takes them out regularly, whenever he goes anywhere that isn't work related. At weekends he'll take them grocery shopping, garden centre, B&Q, walk the dog etc.

He'll take days off through the year to take them on days out, ie the car museum
?
I usually clean up (never much to do as it's done as we go) for a maximum of 45 minutes then MN, or have a nap.

I really appreciate my husband after threads like this, but really don't understand why women have children with men who seem to think they are doing their wives a favour by 'babysitting'.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 15/08/2008 09:13

hahahahaha!! hahahahaha! rofl!! dh take the kids out thats hilarious!! he struggles putting them to bed unaided.

he has taken dd1 swimming tiwce in her whole life. thats its and he sometimes takes them to his mums around the corner for an hour.

my mum takes them out a lot during the summer holidays in fact she normally puts in two weeks holidays specifically to take out my kids. my sister sometimes takes dd1 with her when they go out, she cannot fit dd2 in the car.

i usually spend my catching up with housework but sometimes ill just have a long bath and a little snooze on the bed.

to all of you who have dh's capable of taking out the children.

Jahan · 15/08/2008 09:16

Dh regularly takes ds1 (3) out at the weekends. Can be anywhere - park, swimming, b&q, Tesco's, ils etc.
He hasn't yet taken ds2 (10months)anywhere without me but I'm sure he will when he's a bit easier to manage.
I used to clean or just relax. Now I have to work around the baby

goingslowlymad · 15/08/2008 09:17

SSSSBTSS I don't believe there are many men of child-bearing age who are truely incapable of caring for their own children.

Why on earth is he not able to look after his children alone for a day?

I am speechless to be honest that some women have such low expectations of the fathers of their children.

BBBee · 15/08/2008 09:18

hardly ever, only if asked and both parties protest and make me feel guilty.

sfxmum · 15/08/2008 09:19

every weekend if he isn't working they will have a full day out by themselves or I will be out and they do whatever
weekdays if home early they might pop out for a spin in the bike/ walk etc (dd 3)

BlingLovin · 15/08/2008 09:23

I have to agree with GSM. My DP is likely to be a SAHD and I have absolutely no doubts he can do it and will be great (although I do expect some whining about constantly being at DCs beck and call). But why would you have children with a man who can't look after them? Or is n't willing? Or is it that you don't feel comfortable with them being looked after by him? As long as I can remember we did stuff with our father all the time. And he played a key role in getting us up, dressed, fed and to school in the morning. every morning. I certainly expect the same from my DP.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 15/08/2008 09:23

gsm im fairly sure he is capable its just not worth the effort after all the "where are their clothes at?" "thnis is stained they are not wearing this" "where is the buggy?" "how do you get it up" "you will have to show me how to fold it down" "what time do they eat?" "what will they eat?" "you will have to come and get dd1 if she misbehaves" etc. im too knackered to enjoy the break from them.

we go out on days out togther. thats uch easier. plus dd1 is a horror and he doesnt really know how to deal with her and she purposefully winds him up.

BaDaBing · 15/08/2008 09:25

DP takes my ds (2) out pretty much every Saturday morning. Usually just for a couple of hours while he runs errands, and always comes home with something for breakfast and a Saturday Guardian. I realise I am very lucky

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