How often does your DP/DH take your DCs out without you and what do you do with your free time?

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I pose this question after reading the Motherhood dilemma thread (which was v enlightening to me). So.....

How often?
How many and how old are DCs?
How long are they out for? Overnight? Whole day, half day?
And what do you do with the time?

Here are my answers to kick off:

once a year (on average)
DD is 6, he's never taken both of them together and DS is now 1.5
Took DD camping overnight once when DS was a few months old, rest of days out have been to in-laws
I (sad to say) blitz the house, watch TV, perhaps go to cinema and get a takeaway.

How I would love to have a weekend away with some girl-friends.....

PS DH is v good with them, just never takes them out that often on his own; as hard as I try I'm always roped in for "family time".

DP takes my ds (2) out pretty much every Saturday morning. Usually just for a couple of hours while he runs errands, and always comes home with something for breakfast and a Saturday Guardian. I realise I am very lucky

BaDaBing you aren't lucky, just some women on this thread seem to be particularly laid back with what they expect from their DHs.

SSSSBTSS my husband wouldn't dare ask me any of those questions. He'd be told he's their father, deal with it. How many children have you got? How can he possibly not know how to operate a pushchair? I am afirly sure my DH could work out even an unfamiliar one within a few minutes.

we have two but dd1 was already 10 months when he met her so its his first time doing the baby things so its all a bit overwhelming for him i think.

dd1 he can manage on his own but she doesnt like to go with him without dd2. she is very protective of her sister and doesnt like to be without her.

oh and the buggy is a quinny zapp very easy. its got numbers on it. your press button one, then two then three! it drives me nuts sometimes but im starting to work on an evening soon so he will have to learn how to care for them alone. im getting him more involved now so that he is not thrown in at the deep end.

I say throw him in at the deep end. Go away for a weekend. I bet he learns PDQ what to do and when, and where things are kept.

But presumably as a woman, when you have a baby, you're thrown "in at the deep end". SSSSbTSS, I don't mean to seem mildly hysterical - I'm consicous that I probably do - but parents get thrown in at the deep end, that's what happens when you have a baby. Neither of you has a clue and you figure it out. And obviously, the woman figures it out quicker because by pure nature she's around more - assuming there's bf, maternity leave or whatever?

Okay, sorry, it's not my life. I just know that I couldn't live like that, I'd kill DP. And that when he becomes a SAHD, I would expect him to expect me to spend some time with our DCs because a) I want to b) they want to and c) he needs the break.

My dh will take them out....but only if I manage to convey to him through bulged eyes, veins raised in neck and strangulation gestures what will happen to him and them if I don't get a break!

He organises LOVELY days out cycling with his brother,they have a fab time, pedalling through the countryside. But I have to drop hints the size of a Brontasaurus for him to organise the children and take them out himself.

I don't want to have to ask! He will do it, but God, its hard work getting there.

Then he acts like he's done me a massive favour and expects gratitude.

when he can
overnight
2 and 9
i do decorating, tidying sort drawers, have a ready meal, lay in mornibgs

I only have one ds (4.5) so I suppose that makes it easier but dh has always taken him out by himself, from when he was a few weeks old. He takes him to do all the same stuff I do - shopping, errands, park, beach - whatever.

I do a variety of things, sometimes stuff that needs doing, sometimes stuff for my own pleasure.

When my sister had her first baby last year (in rather traumatic circumstances, with her husband off the scene for a while) I spent a week staying with her, and dh had ds by himself. They had a great time.

My DDs are almost 5 and almost 2. DH has taken them out together to give me a break once - for about three hours. Sometimes he takes them both to DD1s swimming class, but that is it. In fairness to him, he probably would do it more if I asked, but as I work part time, I don't actually want him taking the girls away from me at the weekend. I want us to spend time together as a family at the weekend... so I do my chores on my days off during the week and we try to spend more time going out together at the weekend.

Dh takes ds1 out for a couple of hours most weekends. I spend the time looking after ds2 and decorating, on the whole (we are decorating in very slow motion here - odd hours now and again).

We only have the one at the moment (3 yr old DS - second due in November).

DH takes DS out at least once over the weekend - usually just a morning / afternoon trip to the park / swimming / softplay.

He usually has DS for the evening about once a fortnight so I can go out - normally just out for a meal with my mum / sister / friends, although he is happy to have DS overnight on his own on a weekend on the odd occasion I want to go clubbing (not very often these days!).

he is also brilliant about having him for a weekend if I ever want to go away - again, not often, but for example, this year I went on a weekend city break with my mum and sister and went to Ireland for a few days to see family and he had DS both times.

My DH is self employed and often works very long hours and is abroad on business, but the upside of this is that he can also be flexible with his time if we forward plan a bit, and often gives me 'an afternoon off' or an hour or two here or there if he can wangle being at home so that I can go shopping alone, have my hair done, go for a swim etc.

I feel very lucky. I also realise this will probably all change massively when we have 2 kids!

Forgot to say, I'm a SAHM at the moment. When I do go back to work (probably some time next year) God knows how it will all work.

It took me 30 years to find a man who'd want to procreate with me. It would have taken a few more to find one that would also fulfil the "do whatever you say" requirements.
To be fair to dh, he works away all week so when he's here we all do everything together.

DH and DS had quite a rocky start. DS cried a lot and DH couldn't handle it etc. etc. For the first year I maybe left him for 1hr!

Now, he's 2 they spend every Saturday morning together either doing Socatots or going to the park. He's also going to try to have DC2 (due in Sept) on Sat afternoons so I can have some one to one time with DS. (If it's possible)

He also takes him out for naps etc and now if he comes to our bed at night I get up to the spare room because there'e not room for three of us!! He also puts him to bed every night!

I think it was really hard for him at first because he found DS difficult and DS would scream if I so much as left the room and so he needed persuasion but they get so much from the relationship now that I'm really glad I nagged!! I think Socatots helped because it was something they had to do.

Sorry this is really long...I used to have driving lessons but since I passed my test I sort of faff or have my legs waxed!!

Children are 12 8 and 3. DH takes them out for hours at a time, nearly every weekend. He happily overnights with the older two, but the little one has health probs with which I currently contend - he WOULD do it, but I haven't asked him.

He works nearby and is out with the younger two at the moment while the oldest is having a piano lesson.

I am very very lucky and don't appreciate him nearly enough.

With my free time? I sleep, tidy up or go on MN.

to be fair I don't think anyoone plans to have children with someone who they think isn't prepared to put in the hours on their own - my mum was convinced my dad would be a wonderful father but can count on one hand the number of times he took my brother to the park to kick a ball around or took me out on my own for an afternoon...he just wasn't as interested as he'd led her to believe

ummm never.ok maybe once in blue moon.

Every Saturday while I study at home. Often takes her to the park, or walk, or tricycle etc. I don't have to ask - he wants to do it. I occaisionally go away - longest was 6 days. I think I find it harder when he goes away for work.

How often?
erm when I have weekend with friends once every 2 months or so, every weekend so I can run only for an hour or so

How many and how old are DCs?
one dd aged 4

How long are they out for? Overnight? Whole day, half day?
They tend to stay put and i go out.

And what do you do with the time? run, ride bike or get drunk with friends

Mind you I went to the local with dp and dd the other day for lunch and the landlord asked my dd if she wanted her usual!!

I think the key is for you to leave the house for a particular event. It's more tangible than just having an hour or so..

I have a friend coming over for a drink tomorrow night and a bike ride, dp happy to have dd and it's reciprocated when he has friends over and has a bike ride and drink. I think doing things they understand as activities helps too.

tee hee