The Motherhood Delusion

[SantaLucia]

A thread to safely house all the thoughts that you are ashamed to admit. Example:

Why did we have children?

When does it all become worth it?

The day my child was born was NOT the best day of my life (it was my wedding) and I absolutely remember the pain and the boredom of being in hospital.

I can't be bothered reading about child development.

The health visitor is not worth a trip in the rain with a sleeping baby.

Thank goodness I'm over that "newborn" stage. Roll on year 5!

I so want time to myself too. It's what I miss the most.

My guilty thought today is I want to run off to South America to shag an old flame. Would have to take the kids though and DH would not allow, or would bloody have to come with me...DREAM ...dream dream dream dream....!!!

I had the earth mother illusion ,I do paint and bake but it is so boring.

I just want a day of peace and quiet .

I also try to make myself look cool by putting on old songs I used to dance too in nightclubs and saying listen kids mummy was cool and thin once [saddoemoticon].

I love them all dearly but they are a far cry from the illusion of motherhood I had

I crave, crave, crave time ALONE.

And whoever decided that bath-time is so fecking magical btw?

bath time is boring as hell imo

thats why ds goes to bed dirty when dh is away

I strongly believe that having children is a conspiracy. We're all lead to believe that its going to be great / our children will never be like that / my child will be perfect etc etc.... only when its too late do you actually find out the truth.

Yeah, its hard work and pretty hellish sometimes, and I spent most of yesterday yelling at my four year old counting down the hours until I was able to send her up to bed... but this morning she woke me up with a huge cuddle and a 'I love you mummy' and all was forgotten... for two hours or so... and then the hell began again

'YEs it's lovely that he's sooo intelligent and articularte and imaginative' - but I wish he would just SHUT THE FUCK UP sometimes...

Oh FFS yes it is a huge conspiracy. The 'sacredness' and 'wonderfullness' is a myth put about by men because they want women to do it so they don't have to. WHenever anyone says anything is so special and sacred that only one class/category of human beings can do it they are bullshitting: if the special thing is something only the speaker can do then it's a perk, if the special thing is something the speaker can't be let do then it's a grim chore.
Yes there are lovely times to be had with your children, interspersed with great grinding stretches of boredom and bad temper on all sides.

Oh god I feel all these things too. But I don't regret for a single moment having any of my babies. Despite all the hassles and tiredness I only have to imagine for one millisecond not having them to know I did the right thing. But I have to force myself to remember that my time with them is special and finite....or I tend to forget and get irritable and impatient

dependent newborns (especially my own) scared the shit out of me.

a good mag/book plus cup of coffee can make the playground rather more bearable

why do I find it so much easier to go out to a zoo or museum than to get down on the floor and do a pretend teaparty?

solidgoldbrass ROFL

I think it is a conspiracy by older women. They want grandkids so much they don't care if their DIL/DDs are miserable in the process.

Frenzied hormonal surges made us have children.

It's worth it most of the time so that's ok.

I enjoy reading child development stuff when it's work related. I don't like talking about individual offspring's exceptionally good and wonderful development with friends and acquaintances.

My hv came to my house and I quite liked her smiley smiley visits.

OrmIrian at the same time as being bored and irratated, I live infear of anything happening to them and can be brought to tears at the thoughts of time and their childhoods passing.(yeah right, sad all the boredom and iratation is going to end)

I want to grasp them to my bosom and squeeze them with love, and then read my book in peace for a couple of hours.(This, I imagine, is why celebrities find motherhood so fulfilling, it's probably what it's like)

Being a mother produces the most contradictory emotions.

crackfox, I'm at the stage where I mutter fuck off very quietly, thinking that it's ok even if they do hear me because they are so au fait with swearing now

I now have a confession - it took me 4 children to realise all this

My excuse is that I had them incredibly close together (less than 5 years)

But oh God, the boredom, the monotony, the incessant bickering and whining, when oh when will it ever stop?

I am so looking forward to my youngest starting school and having some me time .

Every shop I go into with them it is just one long "can I have.........?"

Today dc3 decided to take 15 copies of nothing on the photocopier at our local shop - £1.50 wasted!

By the time I am 55 I will be able to go on holiday with out them

Bad day today by the way

This is a totally fabulous thread!

School holidays is the only time when you can listen to Bridget Jones "all by myself" sobbing song and instead of feeling lonely and sad, get jealous thinking "Hell yeah - I WANNA be All by myself Anymooorrreeeeeee"

lol..great thread. love my 2 ds to bits but omg it's so good to go to work sometimes and be someone other than 'Muuuuummmm'.

I hate:
The wipe-wash-dress-wipe-clean cycle
Taking them places
The whole not-being-able-to-pop-to-the-post-office-without-having-to-cajole-someone-the-entire-way

I hate not being me any more

I hate that all my clothes are filthy all the time; that I haven't worn makeup in weeks (I used to wear EVERY DAY - EVERY DAY!)

I hate the jollying-along; I hate that I can't have a conversation with the garage about my car - which is totally buggered by the way - without someone screaming at me about some irrelevant nonsense in the middle.

I hate the endless endless washing; i hate not getting drunk because the hangovers are too too awful.

I have ONE pair of trousers that haven't gone at the knees - I hate that.

I hate that it turns out I was actually quite sexy before I had kids. And I never ever used it. Too late now, missus!

I go to sleep thinking about Sexgod Paul who I was at uni with, almost 20 years ago. "My, he was yar." Even when my husband's there.

I adore my kids, I'm mostly pretty happy. But this is the molten rock that bubbles under my crust just waiting to explode!

"I want to grasp them to my bosom and squeeze them with love, and then read my book in peace for a couple of hours.(This, I imagine, is why celebrities find motherhood so fulfilling, it's probably what it's like)"

Or Communion do you imagine that that is what having grand children is like? Maybe the whole point of children is the grand children?

what shits me is all the googy-eyed ex friends spouting "oh, motherhood really suits you" bull.

What are they saying?

God, those bags under your eyes and that bloated waistline are hot?

You used to be such a bitch, now that you're exhausted you've become much nicer?

ROFL at this thread. I have thought/think pretty much all of the above. hockeypuck - I watched Bridget Jones the other night and started getting all wistful and over her life.

I am officially a sad case.

Oh yes and the 'fuck off' thing - I have also taken to muttering it under my breath knowing full well that dd is not deaf and can in fact hear me.

The most soul destroying part of motherhood has to be the dreaded thought of 'what the feck can i cook for dinner?' And the worst part is that it comes around every single day!!! Then combine that with a fussy eater who eats nothing...pure soul destroying!
Im seriously considering getting rid of the meal all together.

'You used to be such a bitch, now that you're exhausted you've become much nicer?'
phd- do u know me? lol