confidence as a mum shattered in a week

[bubbly1973]

has anyone else felt like this, or am i the only one

i am feeling down and now feel like there was a reason why i couldnt conceive naturally, even though i conceived through fertility treatment, i now feel like someone up there is trying to say i couldnt get pregnant because i am not capable of looking after my boy

he is 2years7mths old..and in a space of a week 4 incidents have happened that have left me feeling very bad

first was when i was shutting my door i jammed his finger in it badly
second was on sunday night, it was dark in the room and i poked his eye with my nail, i swear i heard/felt the squelch
and this is the bit that still gets me all knotted up and i feel annoyed at myself for being so stupid..
i was helping nextdoor with her sons party and ds was happily playing away, i kept checking him, then when i went to check again he wasnt there, he had gone into the garden (the door was open) round to the side, and was on his way out!! its a busy road, if he had gone through the front garden and out..well i dread to think..luckily i got to him in time
then last night, just before bedtime i was having a game of football with him and he went to pick it up and really bashed his head by the eyebrow really hard, i can still hear the noise of it now, he got a black eye today and its swollen.
rang nhs helpline they were great, took him to mil's house to get 2nd opinion on eye, he didnt go to bed til 9..

so you see im feeling very down, keep thinking of 'what if he ran right out' and i was just wondering if im the only mother who feels like not being capable of looking after a child...

in toddler group, im sure if i mentioned it, not many mothers will admit to anything bad that they have done in fear of looking like bad mums on here people open up

i always lurk these boards and the advice or experience you share with each other is fantastic, so am turning to you

if you have read this far, thanks,..maybe im going through a bad week and its unfortunate this has happened in a space of 7 days...i love my boy very much, and just want to be a good mum and keep him safe

[HunkerMunker]

Hun, don't fret. You're a super mum and your DS is having childhood accidents - it happens. I too conceived through fertility treatment but I don't think it's because I wasn't meant to be a mum - it's because I was meant to be. Please take the fact you have him as a huge sign that you can do it. Big hugs to you and really don't dwell on what ifs - they're no help to anyone. The fact is, he didn't run in the road, just cuddle him and don't think about what could've happened.

[Nimme]

Bubbly - hope you've had a better day today.

FWIW - DD1 fell of changing table when 7 months when I turned my back. Quite a big bruise on forehead. Was doing photos that day - a bit of concealer did it. Felt very guilty though and very worried about her falling asleep so I couldn't keep an eye on her...

DD2 - so far banged her head on table.

My friend's son stuck his fingers in the toaster.

My mother's friend forgot her son in a shop.

It happens to all of us. Draw a line and get on with enjoying your son.

[bubbly1973]

ive had a much better day today..(no accidents either!!) and i was really surprised at how great everyone was in toddler group!! the woman incharge of the group has fostered 68 children in her time and she told me a lot of things that she has done, and like she pointed out, if she was a bad person they wouldnt have let her foster all these children.

im still a little nervous when he runs or gets rough when playing but i think thats me being overprotective for a while

but i feel heaps better, not down like i have been this past couple of days.

now i know how my mother feels, now i appreciate everything even more and even now i know she worries about me....ahhh i got all that to come for the rest of my life..but i wouldnt change a thing

[marj]

Glad you have had a better day today!
When ds was smaller I didnt realise he was standing behind me. I turned round and whacked him into the door frame leaving him with a great big lump and a bruise on his forehead.
Felt guilty for days afterwards, but as I have also seen off this thread it happens to everyone!
You are very caring and are obviously a good mum to your ds.

[Blu]

[toomanypushchairs]

Glad you've had a better day, things always happen all at once. You should see what goes on in our house. Have older dd and ds to add to the awful things i manage to do to my dt. dd opened babygate on one of their heads only this evening, scratch and bruise followed. When my dd was 3yrs she managed to fall downstairs and break her collar bone and 3 months later trip over the babygate(another babygate accident) bang into the wall and break her wrist. I was sure the hospital were going to send round social services, particularly when my health visitor told me she had been informed by the hospital. She said it was routine!

[morningpaper]

LOl at the wheelybin! (sorry!)

Oh and I've dropped TWO cups of tea on my daughter, second time resulting in trip to casualty and many phone calls from the Health Visitor.

[Clayhead]

Yes, I thought it was quite funny but dd emphatically did not...[guilty face for laughing at daughter's disress]!!

[bubbly1973]

okay since morningpaper has admitted it, i have to put my hand up and say i visioned the wheely bin incident and giggled, (feeling bad for giggling at your daughters misfortune afterwards clayhead )

its just the sort of thing i would accidentally do to ds