Using reins on small children

[Mylobsterteapot]

I'm in Stage 2 of adoption, and in a converation with my social worker about boundaries I mentioned that I would ensure a child was safe near a busy road by using a buggy, a carrier or reins if I wasn't confident the small child would hold my hand.

She said that the use of reins isn't recommended. I've seen loads of my friends using little backpacks with a lead on their 2-4 year olds when needed.

Are reins that bad? I had some in the 90's, and I've turned out fine. I know this isn't a barometer for all parenting choices, but still.

Used with both my kids. Not only did it stop them running off but it also broke their fall if they tripped up

I've used reins, a back pack with a strap to hold and a wrist link with my dd when young. Yeah some people compare it to keeping a dog on a leash (which should also happen in public places) but to be fair it was also commented that my dd needed walking more than the dog.

My first child wouldn’t have run away from me in a million years. Never. My second child is determined to escape. If you watch him out of the corner your eye he waits until the strategically best time to bolt (base on how busy and how distracted you are). We tend to put him in a carrier rather than use reins but I can’t see why you wouldn’t if you needed to and it worked for you and your kid?

You put a dog on a lead to stop them from running off and getting lost and or injured (or worse).
So why wouldnt you use a puece if safety equipment to stop a small child running off and getting lost and/or injured or worse.

My sons both had reins. I did tend to hold his hand and have the rein around my wrist for if he let go/tried to run off especially when packing shopping/paying for things.

better safe than sorry.

Many years ago I went on a training course as part of my old job and children disliking holding hands for long periods came up. The trainer asked us all to hold our arm up as if we were holding the hand of someone considerably taller and to keep it there while we watched a video of a short walk to the shop - it can get bloody uncomfortable! I used reins very regularly after that.

Not recommended by who? I have not come across this guidance.

In fact the highway code and Child Accidents Prevention Trust both recommend them.

However, do be aware there is a relevant British Safety standard and some products sold online do not meet this. Only use reins which do meet the proper standard. Wrist straps have no relevant standard and are not recommended as they can cause injury.

BS EN 13210-1 for standalone reins,
BS EN 13210-2 for toys or backpacks which incorporate leading reins.

2020 seems the latest version for both.

I had five kids in less that 4 years - you bet I used reins. Only when they were toddlers and at a location where there were a lot of people. Like a county fair. We would never be brave enough to have taken them on a busy street if they weren't in buggys.

Do I like reins? No.

Did I use them on my eloping toddler? Absolutely.

Safety first.

If I hadn’t used reins in my eldest I doubt he would still be alive today.

Like PP have said very few parents are "yanking their kids around like a dog" but tend to hold the child's hand and have a loop from the rein around their arm as a back up if the child tries to get away.

My son was a runner who loved water. After he ran directly into a pond he wore reins whilst out walking. He'd deliberately slip your hand and sprint. I also didn't have a car and many of our regular walking routes to the library, grandparents etc were along rivers or beside an open, unfenced harbour, it was absolutely not safe to not have additional restraints on him. DD held my hand nicely, listened to me and didn't need reins. DS turned out to be autistic and have hearing problems as a little child. Suddenly made sense why it had been so much trickier keeping him safe when we found out!

My 2 year old is chaotic. Hated hand holding but would not stoping trying to run away. Her little backpack reigns were a godsend. She didn’t really know she had them on and felt she was free but I had control of her. I just don’t know what people’s problem with them are. It’s easy to be judgemental if you’ve never needed them I suppose.

I was lucky as my son (and so far my daughter too!) was always very good for walking along holding my hand and wasn’t a runner, so I didn’t need reins. I don’t particularly love them honestly BUT I can see the benefit if they’re used as an extra precaution. I don’t particularly like when the parent doesn’t even bother trying to hold the child’s hand, just hangs onto the reins, personally, but maybe that’s a bit judgy.

We adopted our son and 50% of the things the social worker told us to do or not to do was absolute poppy cock. We had to basically bulletproof the house. She even suggested we get the Fire Brigade come round and check all of our windows. Spoiler alert, the firebrigade did not want to come round my house and check my windows. Do what you like, reins is a completely normal parenting choice which is up to you not up to them to tell you what to do.

We had to replace the glass in our greenhouse to plastic to pass the home safety check. Still annoys DH as any strong wind blows the plastic out.

I used them with my twins as I had an older one as well and the twins were terrifyingly confident.

You dont have to keep those standards once the adoption order is in place though.

Well no, but we got rid of the glass ...

There used to be a lovely woman on here who lost her son and always shared her experience to say sod the tutting old ladies and disapproving looks. They save lives and are not cruel if they are useful. I often think of her.

Totally sensible.

I bought reins for my second grandchild. He was a bolter. I needed a new hip, it was a safety issue.

After a day out where he was fine wearing them at times, he took them home and his parents used them all the time.

I didn't buy the wrist strap ones but the ones that went across the chest and shoulders, with a long rein

What matters is that the child is safe. Reins are a sensible choice to ensure this.

Reins are great. They allow the child to keep their arms free when walking instead of one being hauled up in the air. They can carry their sticks, feathers etc. I've never had a dog so enjoyed using reins.

Your social worker is a weirdo.

She's an idiot.

Reins are great.

I like the little backpack ones because they're really cute🤣 but the ones that go over their chest like the old-fashioned ones are the best really and I don't like the wrist ones very much as I think it's kind of awkward for them.

& like you say. It's not as if you plan to have them on 24/7!

I hope your adoption goes well and you soon have a little one💕

oh PS: I think we're all assuming you're hoping to get a toddler not a 10 year-old. Reins wouldn't be appropriate then.🤣🤣