Using reins on small children

[Mylobsterteapot]

I'm in Stage 2 of adoption, and in a converation with my social worker about boundaries I mentioned that I would ensure a child was safe near a busy road by using a buggy, a carrier or reins if I wasn't confident the small child would hold my hand.

She said that the use of reins isn't recommended. I've seen loads of my friends using little backpacks with a lead on their 2-4 year olds when needed.

Are reins that bad? I had some in the 90's, and I've turned out fine. I know this isn't a barometer for all parenting choices, but still.

Loads of people hate them, which I find utterly baffling as they’re great for keeping unreliable kids safe while they learn.

I don’t get it either. They are ideal for small children who like to elope.

I always used reins with one of my children…absolutely no regrets !

I feel like the people who hate them are ones who have never needed them. It keeps kids safe (and gets them out of buggy!) Whilst they are learning. Our DS loved his little backpack and reins and still plays with them in the house now for pretend games.

As its bit of a different situation than if you had birthed child and could make all the choices without scrutiny- could you ask Social worker to clarify her position or reasons ?

I know people equate them with putting them on a leash but, let’s face it, toddlers and dogs are basically the same thing! 😉

I used reins on all my 4 and when older used a wrist strap. I would have thought it was a good idea to keep them safe.

We used reins with our AC but that is some time ago now.
Personally I think they are very sensible in the right place.
Ask the SW why, then agree with her. Not worth the angst.

I'd obviously let the child run about freely when it's safe e.g. in a fenced playground or a feild or places away from cars. They wouldn't be on reins every second they were outside.

I don't have a ca so walking and public transport will feature heavily. I can't just pop the child in the car to get home if they've had enough.

I don’t use it often, but we have a little rucksack with a clip on strap that I have used in certain busy situations where he’s needed some time out of the pram but couldn’t 100% reliably be trusted to hold a hand (airport, Christmas market, busy city centre).

We work a lot on ‘you HAVE to hold a grown ups hand in car parks / near busy roads / crossing the road’ and he’s fairly reliable with it at 2.5 but there are still some situations I’d prefer to know he can’t wriggle free and bolt.

There’s a difference between reins looped over your wrist while you hold the child's hand, and reins looped over your wrist while you ignore the child. IMO reins are used well when the child never feels a tug or yank on them.

My dc adored the reins because they knew that when I pulled them out of bag they were about to get out of the buggy and be able to move around more independently.

I used reins with DD kept her safe and also stopped her from face planting constantly.

You'll find a range of views within social work, older people like me, more balanced, less likely to go with the current group think, I think they're fine when used with purpose, safely and balanced with regulation so that you dont end up relying on them too much. Nothing wrong with them per se.

My mom used reins for me. So sweet with little bells on the harness. Hadn’t harmed me.

I used reins on my offspring. Useful to actually bring them back up onto their feet if they tripped. Great if your kid is a runner. Hasn’t harmed my kids.

If more young ones wore reins, they would be safe from all kinds of hazards, random humans and other street hazards.

DC1 was a runner. After nearly running into traffic on High Street Ken, I got him reins. No regrets. Didn’t give a toss about what others thought. He’s a very sensible 25 year old architect now. He’s not seeing a therapist because his mother had him on a lead. 😆
As parents, we have a short period of years (I still call ages 0-5 the infant years) where really, it’s about keeping our kids alive. We are the safety net, the maker of good, proactive decisions, the protector, the safeguarder. We’re the eyes in the back of the head. If you need reins, get them, use them, unapologetically. You love your child. Do what you need to do to protect them.
My other two kids didn’t need reins at all. This may be the case for you too. You just have to find out if you have a runner! 😆

I think they're not recommended because they could become tangled or easily pull your child over but I had to use them with my youngest as she would run fast and not listen 🤣

And of course would definitely use them in busy places.

reins are an essential if you have a child who bolts. Kept my little brother safe and alive on more than one occasion.

Just nod and agree now, and see how things work out later.

Reins are one of those things like a playpen which are frowned upon these days as they're seen as curtailing the child's freedom to explore. But actually both can be useful in my opinion as long as they're not over used. Putting the reins on near a busy road or popping the child in a playpen for a few minutes when you need to leave the room - fine. Using them a lot - not fine.

They are the sensible approach - I would question why others didn’t need them. You don’t know you have a bolter until they run off.

My son walked at 9 months very sure footed. He was into everything. Without reins I have no doubt he’d have been under a car because he was a runner.
A rein memory that makes me smile still many years on. I had taken my son to a petting zoo. It was enclosed. My son was wearing reins and because it was safe enclosed place, I’d wrapped them around a bit and had let him run free. He was running along when he suddenly realised he couldn’t run anymore.
I spotted it at the same time as he realised he was stuck. A goat had started nibbling his reins. I thought he’d be frightened but he turned round and shouted “ No” and then he tapped the goat on the nose , the goat opened his mouth, the reins fell out of his mouth and my son happily toddled back off again.

I used reins for all of my three. All survived unharmed.

Their choice as toddlers when out and about was "reins or pushchair," nothing else. If they didn't like that and wouldn't cooperate with the choice then I chose for them and they'd be in the pushchair, like it or not.

Reins are sensible. Small children can easily wander off and are not generally known for their road sense. It only takes seconds for something to go wrong.

I used reins with DS ( early walker- hated the buggy). But I think the airport is a place where you can let them walk. I used the little life backpack when he was 2 and I was heavily pregnant with Dd. The one place riens are great are train platforms.

I'd love to know the social workers reasoning. I used reins on mine as first walkers but I am seriously considering putting them back on my 4 year old. She quite simply is not safe out and about (currently being assessed for ADHD and autism so may be 'bigger picture' stuff going on) but I am at a loss of what else to do.

Same parent, 3 neurotypical children, dc1 was a bolter, dc2 would hold my hand perfectly and stop etc so i had zero worry, dc3 was mainly reliable but there was a sliver of doubt so why risk it? So they used reins too.
Rather safe than sorry, and I genuinely don’t care about others opinions as long as my child is safe.

Use briefly with DD but used it a lot with my DS who was a bolter! It was one of those cute Little Life back pack ones… he thought he was the biz!

I had a Houdini Bolter.
Not only did he wear reigns for out walking; the reigns bib was hardly ever removed and extra clips bought for the pram, highchair, car seat... and a spare pair for out and about. That kid could escape from anything and was 'double strapped' for a good couple of years 😂