Son signed up for Army training without telling us

[anotherglass]

My 20-year-old son, who is at university studying engineering, has signed up for University Officer Training. He has signed a contract and undergone a medical. We only found out last night.
He is a young man who loves Leonard Cohen, plays the guitar and enjoys building electrical systems. Now he’ll be learning parachuting, marksmanship and how to shoot at targets.
I understand the appeal. Around £50 a week, exciting training, new friendships, adventure, mountaineering, climbing and paid overseas trips. For a young person at university, it must sound like an extraordinary opportunity.
At present, these reservists cannot be deployed. But in the current climate, I am deeply uneasy about how secure that assurance really is, and how quickly this position could change.
I haven’t yet managed to speak to him properly about it. But I am deeply troubled that the possibility of a change in status, including being redesignated and potentially becoming deployable, does not appear to have been made sufficiently clear at the outset.
A quick search online suggests that there is already discussion within parts of the military about getting a greater return on the investment in training university officers by making them deployable. If that is a possibility, surely young people need to understand it before they sign a contract — not simply be told about it if the rules change later.
This is what troubles me most. A package of pay, training, adventure and belonging can be enormously attractive to a 20-year-old. But the potential obligations and risks deserve equal prominence.
I know my son is an adult, and I respect his right to make his own decisions. But I am his mum, and the thought that he could one day be called upon to serve in a conflict — when that possibility is not something we had understood to be part of the deal — is genuinely frightening. Anyone else in the same position? Any thoughts on how to navigate this with son?

I certainly wouldn't be

Less flippantly, my 23yo is an officer in an infantry regiment of the regular army, so I do understand the mix of emotions.

Of course the potential risk is worrying, but you need to find ways of managing that anxiety by remembering that it is also a brilliant career offering opportunities that other 20-somethings can only dream of. It's an important and responsible job, and we need good people who are able and willing do it. It's a brave and honourable choice - admittedly not a risk-free one, but ultimately nothing is risk-free.

Realistically, as others have said, if they start mobilising cadets, it will be it the context of a much wider population-level mobilisation, in which case people who have had previous training will be in a much better position than those with no previous experience.

He presumably hasn’t told you as he’ll know you’ll have over top reaction. I’d be upset my 20 yr old wouldn’t speak to me and think that is down to you.
It’s not your choice. He sounds like he’s hardworking and thinking of his cv.
I took my girlguides to an army day with young women from university officer training running activities and they were all articulate young women. The skills they develop will help them get through interviews and get jobs.

All military personnel have to do basic training and firearms. He is a potential Officer so he will be learning leadership skills that will stand him in good stead should he decide to serve in the Armed Forces

Possibly he thinks this will help his employability and he might be right in that, rounds out his cv. He may have considered some of the possibilities you are concerned about and decided it is worth it.
I know of several people, including one engineering student, who did this. None of them took it beyond their third year.

For those who argue that a 20-year-old at university is an adult who should be capable of making a fully informed decision about joining the University Officer Training Corps (UOTC), take a look at how the Army promotes its training.

University officer cadets’ largest ever training exercise in Germany | The British Army

In this article, battlefield exercises - including shooting and urban assaults - in Germany are presented as “fun”, an “adventure” and an opportunity to “network”. The emphasis is on excitement, camaraderie, personal development and transferable skills.
But where is the discussion of the less attractive realities of military service? The potential risks, the psychological consequences, the possibility of injury or death, and the obligations that come with military status?
The reassurance that there is no obligation to join the Regular Army after completing UOTC training is not the same as explaining all the obligations attached to a cadet's existing status, or whether those obligations could change in the future.
Of course, 20-year-olds are adults and should be free to make their own decisions. But being an adult does not remove the responsibility to provide clear, comprehensive information before someone signs a contract.
In my view, this kind of unbalanced promotional material deserves to be challenged. If the Army is going to promote the fun, adventure and opportunities, it should be equally transparent about the obligations, risks and uncertainties.

@anotherglass

Which branch of Engineering is he studying, OP?

But where is the discussion of the less attractive realities of military service? The potential risks, the psychological consequences, the possibility of injury or death, and the obligations that come with military status?

Frankly you'd have to have been brought up living under a rock not to realise the above, and also not to realise the Forces push a slightly rose tinted view of life in the services...promises of "Scuba diving in Cyprus....skiing in Norway" will I'm sure ring around a bell with some around here.

Back in the day some of us, even those with Cohen and Dylan vinyl on the bedroom shelves, signed up to serve for maybe 16 years even before even heading for University, fully aware of both the upsides and downsides of serving..

I'm sure these days, especially now that youngsters are supposedly better educated and with the internet a bright 20 year old can perform due diligence and make their own decision.

So you think your very intelligent son has signed up for OTC without realising the army sometimes shoots people?
come on now, fine to be anxious but this is not your fight. Pun intended.

I think he understands what the Army does but is heavily discounting the risk of ever being called up.

But you don’t seem to have been bothered about army recruitment tactics when it didn’t concern your family. Your son is a bright young man with other prospects. I worry far more about the adverts aimed at teens in areas with extremely high rates if unemployment who are also sold on the adventure. They won’t be as smart as your son I imagine and are being recruited far more as 'canon fodder' the people jointing the UOTC.

But from an employment prospective my son studied engineering and did UOTC. He now works for an engineering firm and the UOTC was discussed in his interview. Many engineering firms have military links and they see it as positive. It also meant that as he had passed his Sandhurst boards he already had some security clearance so could be put to work on projects more quickly than some of the other new employees. Even for non military work they can need security clearance, especially to visit sites. He did intend to join the TA but hasn’t as he became busy with other things, but guess he may return at some point. But I think he would be considered way more useful to work as an engineer - keeping power on or on military resources projects - if there was a mass call up. Although he might volunteer.

I was aiming more for the Dad's Army vibe rather than being serious.

But where is the discussion of the less attractive realities of military service? The potential risks, the psychological consequences, the possibility of injury or death, and the obligations that come with military status?

I would like to believe that anyone studying for an engineering degree would be intelligent enough to realise that you could be killed or injured in the armed forces. You know, it's in the title of the organisation.

People are killed and injured in the workplace every year, and many people also die because of occupational exposure to a longer-term hazard. Psychological damage? PTSD is recognised amongst NHS staff and emergency workers.

You need to step back and allow him to be an adult. It's not a family discussion.

University students serving with the UOTC are members of the Army Reserve,[13] and are attested and paid when on duty. They are classed as Group B (non-deployable) while serving in the UOTC. Students hold the rank of officer cadet.[14] Students have no obligation to pursue further military service after leaving university and may resign from the UOTC at any time. UOTCs are staffed by officers and non-commissioned officers from both the Regular Army and the wider Army Reserve.[15]

You are making this up. You haven’t spoken to him about it so why are you assuming his position?

No job advert highlights the downsides. He may be considering joining the forces and sees this as a good way to find out whether he would like it. Or he’s realised that many prospective employers have links to the armed services and it would benefit him come job applications time and at the same time he can earn some money and-yes-have some fun and learn news skills!
I sympathise that this is a shock for you but I suspect you are underestimating your son’s ability to think through these options and make what he considers to be a sensible judgement about it. It just may not align with yours.

Does he drive? I hope not, he's more likely to be killed travelling to and from uni.

The " call up " ?. Good luck with that.

I joined the OTC when the Iraq war was actually going on back in 2003, it was made very clear to us that we would not be deployed and that we could leave at anytime. Joining the OTC was one of the best decisions I made, it taught me confidence, leadership and resilience. I earnt money learning a wide range of skills and made some amazing friends. Having it on my CV helped me get my first job.

Your son is 20, he's old enough to make his own mind up. Good for him trying something that will push him

@anotherglass When you do speak to him, try not to be down on him about this decision as it will alienate him and he will clam up.

I'm sure you won't be, and you're just looking for a place to air your worries understandable so .

I'm just saying cos it's so easy to go off on a tangent without thinking when it's worry and love from us

So if it came to it, you'd expect the population to just sit back and let "them" get on with it? It would be for government to solve and communities would expect not to play any role? Or everyone would be expecting someone else's children to step up?

Patriots happy to fly flags all over the place but not to do anything that would matter?

I hear this. I am retired now but noted during my social work career that some highly disturbed teenagers from families with problems finished up in the forces.

Some will say it was the making of them; others feel that they were not suited to that life nor capable of truly making an informed decision. They certainly had no concept whatsoever how the wars we fight are politically dictated and might not have a firm moral basis.

When DS1 first told me he'd joined the reserves I actually expressed my anxieties in a very similar way :' I shall write a very firm letter to your CO and tell him you are excused from Rough Games.'

DS1 got the point.

Exactly this. Disproportionally served by the children of the poorer party of society who take the real risks. Often very unethical in what they do.

I actually think this is an unnatural reaction. Your son is an adult, presumably without learning difficulties that could inhibit his ability to understand the fundamental purpose of armed forces. Sure, be worried if he's getting deployed. But to hate the idea of his learning to shoot is quite odd. I shoot at a target range as a hobby, it hasn't made me a bloodthirsty psychopath. I hope your son has a good experience in this organisation, and a safe period of service.