40th birthday dilemma

[ScottishFemale90]

Ok so it’s my husband’s 40th birthday coming up.
We have kids aged 4 and 2.
We have been given the opportunity to go away for 5 nights child-free.
Would you go away before the birthday and come home for the birthday?
Or would you go away over the birthday but obviously not see the kids till we got back?

Definitely don’t be away for his birthday.
Birthdays should be spent as a family once you have kids.

I'd hate to be away from dd on my birthday, I don't really see it as an opportunity when it's that long. Will he definitely want to go for 5 nights?

Whatever you can get childcare for. This is such a non issue. The kids are young enough to pretend his birthday is a different day anyway.

A 4 and 2 year old will have no idea - go when you have childcare.

Yes we are going for 5 night but just can’t decide when.

We can get childcare anytime. We just can’t decide when is best to go.

We can get childcare anytime. We just can’t decide when is best to go.

I’d prefer to be on holiday for my actual birthday if it was a big one. It’s up to the birthday person really, nobody ‘should’ have to do a birthday in a certain way just because they have children.

When does he want to go? 🤷‍♀️
The kids wont care what the actual date is as long as they are singing happy birthday and eating cake.

Ge can’t decide. He likes the thought of being away on his birthday but thinks it would feel
weird not being with the kids.

Would you not miss the kids?

Why don't you just all have a holiday together then?

His Birthday is August. We are doing a family holiday in October.

I’d do it afterwards. See the kids on the day then extend the celebrations.

I meant if he wants to be with them on the day itself.

We are off on holiday 1st-18th August. His birthday is 9th. Oldest child starts school on the 17th. Not sure about going away after because of this. What do you think?

We don’t want to turn down 5 nights child free as it will never happen again

go and enjoy his birthday without the kids making it about them (no offence but they require attention). Go and do something lovely that you never get chance to do, just you and your husband without having to worry about feeding the kids or bedtime etc.

Ah yeah, I see why that could be difficult then. If DH likes the idea of celebrating the day with the kids but wants to go away for it then go away and lie to the kids that it’s the day before you.

Do you’d go over the birthday? It’s the same 5 night trip no matter the dates.

Not sure about this, is it weird lying about it. Taking photos etc before

I’d go at that age. If they were older I wouldn’t because they’d be excited to celebrate, but at that age they won’t know they’re missing the actual day.

No! They’re small kids. It’s just like celebrating on the nearest weekend to your birthday instead of on the actual day. Go and enjoy yourselves.

I should say, we are off from 1st-18th August. Birthday is 9th. Oldest starts school 17th.
the way childcare would work it would have to be go away - 3rd-8th or 7th-12th.

Do you think this is more common?