40th birthday dilemma

[ScottishFemale90]

Ok so it’s my husband’s 40th birthday coming up.
We have kids aged 4 and 2.
We have been given the opportunity to go away for 5 nights child-free.
Would you go away before the birthday and come home for the birthday?
Or would you go away over the birthday but obviously not see the kids till we got back?

I know what you mean but also he kinda wants to spend the actual day with them as he normally would for any other birthday.

Well if that’s what he wants then go away before.

You don't celebrate a 40th with small children! They won't care!
Go whenever you have the childcare.

No! I don't think I've ever celebrated my birthday with my children!
Its usually going out for dinner once they are in bed.

My DC are 16 and 18 too. They couldn't care less about their parents birthdays.

we can do either, it’s more about him caring , not the kids. This is why it’s so difficult.

Yes but you will have still seen them on the day?

I'd say go away for birthday, with it being such a rare treat. At those ages they'll be "helping" with presents and cake and then the rest of the day will be as stressful as it would be any other day. I think he deserves to give you both a break on his birthday 😂
Then a kids centred family day to celebrate all together just before/after.

We've already established that a 4 and 2 year old will neither know nor care about their Dad's 40th. Do you usually make a big song and dance about adult birthdays in your house? But if your DH doesn't want to be apart from the kids on his birthday, then I guess you'll have to go afterwards. Personally I think it's all a bit daft. You've got 5 very rare child free days to enjoy yourselves and so really it's not all about your DH is it, even though it is his birthday.

I think a big song and dance should be made about a 40th birthday! It’s my DP’s 40th next month and I absolutely cannot wait to give him his gifts. It is a pleasure to make a fuss of people you love on their big birthdays. Or any, really, but especially the milestone ones.

This is why we are stuck. His birthday is a Monday so it’s not like we are going to do anything extravagant on the day but he torn between going away over it and wanting to spend it with his girls.

He is 50/50. He wants to be abroad but also thinks he might miss being with his girls on the day.

Go on his birthday. Have a lovely morning with the kids then head off and you can have a romantic dinner at your holiday destination

What do you mean a non issue? If you could choose any time when would it be?

Well if you can avoid his actual birthday date then go before or after. If not then over. This is not that much of an issue! Whatever fits in the calendar.

Go the 10-15th. Birthday at home, straight holiday, home with a full day together before DD starts school.

Not sure that’s a good idea for our daughter starting school, we have no idea how they are going to be whilst away, they might miss us and be a nightmare for the grandparents. Maybe best being around for the build up to school?

So do you think we are overthinking it?

I am going away for my 40th birthday tomorrow :) Only one night though and only an hour away in London 😅

You are 100% overthinking it. Go 3rd-8th. Then you’ve had a lovely holiday and will be feeling so relaxed to come home, spend his birthday together as a family then some time together after the birthday before your eldest starts school. Perfect!

Your actual birthday tomorrow?So you will still see your kids in the morning? What are your plans?

Just caught between the feeling of being in the sun the actual birthday and spending the birthday as a family. But then it’s still 5 days in the sun no matter when it is!

Exactly and because it’s so close to his birthday, you’ll still be feeling the holiday vibes! Spending his birthday as a family will mean more than being on holiday.

Either that or be on a downer that’s what we are worried about also. What would you do on the day with the kids?

Could you go away overnight with the kids somewhere on his birthday? So it doesn’t feel like the holiday is at an end?

Potentially but is it worth it? Putting them to bed and having to sit in a hotel room? Unless it was a lodge?