Is a pamper party at seven too young?

[Strawberryfield85]

Hi everyone,

I'd like a bit of a sense check please.

My soon to be 7 year old daughter loves make up, clothes, nail varnish - you get the picture. Her birthday is coming up and I found a company that offers pamper parties including chocolate face mask making, mini mani and pedicure and a little catwalk in the end. It would be in our home, so no salon or anything.

I'm after honest opinions - is this too early? Some of the girls would obviously still be 6 years old. I know my daughter would love this but I'm happy to wait a couple of years if you think some parents may not agree with it at this age.

Too young - they don't need this sort of thing at such a young age. I'd have been really annoyed if my DD had been invited to a pamper party at aged 6 or 7, although would have kept quiet so she wasn't the odd one out - they should be running about in a mixed group, playing games and being children.

Sorry, no that’s way too young.

I’m in the No camp
The catwalk bit is particularly awful

It’s not even slightly weird to understand that children want many things but the parents make the actual choices.

I wouldn’t have let my dd have a party like this however many signs she read.

This is what I was getting at in my reply earlier. They're only 6/ just turned 7! My son is 7 in December, the thought of a group of girls in his class sitting to have nails done, putting face masks on, waiting their turn for a hair do... It would be absolute chaos and they'd get bored 🤣

Same with the "gaming" party remark for boys - they'd want to be up and about playing?!

There's so much time for all of this when they're older. At 6 and 7 just let them play.

I would be trying to avoid a kid who organised a party like this and possibly not let mine go. I absolutely hate this culture. I get it's what she likes but if we got an invitation i would presume the mother is encouraging it, and that's not the kind of parents or kids I want my child to be pals with. Sorry but that's the truth OP

My daughter had this sort of party for her 6th birthday at her request, she loves nail polish and glitter. All the girls in the year attended and some of the parents have arranged parties using the same lady because the girls loved it so much. There was no catwalk and the masks were made with all natural ingredients that they all mixed up like potions. The lady also did relaxing breathing techniques whilst they had a foot spa. There was no emphasis on appearance at all. The emphasis was about caring for your body. They also made friendship bracelets, made pizzas, watched a movie and had popcorn.

I don’t wear make up apart from special occasions and my daughter thinks it is just for when you want to feel fancy. I work in agriculture and certainly am not pushing beauty standards on to her.

To add, my daughter is exceeding expectations in every area of the curriculum, wants to be an astrophysicist but also likes sparkly nail polish. Liking nail polish and glitter doesn’t preclude little girls from also being intelligent! She loves space, learning about Romans, gymnastics and glitter. The idea that so many people are pushing on this thread that little girls that have certain interests aren’t clever or just care about their appearance is so regressive and damaging.

Oh right. My DCs didn’t know what a salon was at that age I don’t think. I don’t go to salons other than to have a haircut twice a year and it’s something I tolerate rather than enjoy so I think the idea of ‘pampering’ wasn’t on their radar.

I actually feel the same, I go for a haircut once per year because I dont like sitting there, never had my nails done, I paint them myself so my wee girl literally only sees me doing that at home. I wear make up when going out, she likes to copy. Thats literally it. I dont see the issue, it's not like they are plastering their face in make up/face paint, having manicures or doing skincare. It's painted nails, cucumber on their eyes, glitter in a plait and some sticky sequence on their face while wearing a wee robe and slippers. Biys and girls like to dress up, wether that's kpop demon hunters or spiderman. They are playing.

Like many others, I would definitely not offer this type of party for my DD6 (she is having her party with a mix of boys and girls at a trampoline and soft play place). I would probably avoid my daughter attending this kind of party if at all possible (there’s maybe one friend I would make the effort for as they are very close, but for anyone else I would decline the invite).

I am doing all I can to instill that your body is valuable for the physical things that it can do rather than for what it looks like so she can have a long term healthy relationship with her body and this would be the very opposite.

I am doing all I can to instill that your body is valuable for the physical things that it can do rather than for what it looks like so she can have a long term healthy relationship with her body and this would be the very opposite

This, 💯

I wouldn't let my child attend, and I would be judging you I'm afraid.

Honestly you need to parent your daughter better

Oh get a grip. I'm not keen on the party idea either but there is no need for this nonsense and spite.

Sorry to say it but if you’re in the UK my guess is that this is a class issue. It screams chavvy. The mc mums we know would not dream of doing this for any age.
I keep my daughters away from this toxic bullshit and encourage physical and mental development. They’re not children for very long.

Exactly. My daughter had no interest whatsoever in that stuff at that age and neither did her friends. They were busy running, jumping, trampolining, riding etc.

My DD loves having her nails painted (by me!) and also plays football, wrestles with her brother, does ballet, watches sport with her dad. Just because a girl is interested in beauty doesn’t mean she’s not bright, or chavvy. She goes to private school so not ‘chavvy’ as a PP put it. I wouldn’t do the catwalk or the face masks since they’re so little, but I have no issue with glitter in the hair and a bit of nail varnish. Girls (and women) are multifaceted and it’s misogynistic to suggest other wise as PP have already on this thread. God forbid a child wants her nails painted

Mine went at that sort of age as her mum was a hairdresser. She loved it. They all did.
The salon made a huge effort. Lots of music and glitter.

I don't understand the criticism. Self care, looking good and positive body image.

I hate to break it to you, but 'chavvy' (awful word) children also go to private schools. Money can come from many different source and chavviness is a behaviour.

Because some of us feel that ‘self-care’ and ‘looking good’ aren’t really connected at all.

Self-care is looking after your health, fitness and mental well-being. Hairstyles, grooming and make-up are nothing to do with that.

Given that excessive focus on appearance often leads adult women to spend thousands of pounds, endure discomfort and sometimes go as far as cosmetic surgery and ‘tweakments’; it’s actually the opposite of self-care in my opinion. It is the opposite of promoting positive body image. It’s getting them started on the capitalist track of feeling shit about themselves so they spend more and more money trying to ‘fix’ themselves.

I’m aware that children are obviously not getting Botox or having their legs waxed, but fussing over hair and face masks is the thin end of the wedge. At that age, the only self-care a child needs to know about is keeping clean, good nutrition, good sleep and plenty of physical activity.

We've all been to school, we know how it works. And yes, Im a radfem. Pp is not saying it's ok.

OP see the other post about a six year old stepdaughter and what the focus on appearance has done to her. Grim.

Are these helping OP? You've not been back. I wonder why...

You had a very odd and incredibly black and white view of the world. You think having a glitter tattoo and nails painted at a 7 year olds birthday party means they will grow up to be vacuous, uninteresting and living in a small world. Do bizarre.

Like others, my daughter's are incredibly bright and interesting girls, with a passion for music, comedy, books, sports, the world around them. One of them also liked the idea of a pamper day as a one-off for their 7th party.

Urgh, big no from me.

The 'little catwalk' is very creepy. I wouldn't hire a company, you have no idea what chemicals could be in their products. What about a pyjama party at home with various activities including some more natural skincare but no make up. I think it's a bit sad to be into their image so young.