Is a pamper party at seven too young?

[Strawberryfield85]

Hi everyone,

I'd like a bit of a sense check please.

My soon to be 7 year old daughter loves make up, clothes, nail varnish - you get the picture. Her birthday is coming up and I found a company that offers pamper parties including chocolate face mask making, mini mani and pedicure and a little catwalk in the end. It would be in our home, so no salon or anything.

I'm after honest opinions - is this too early? Some of the girls would obviously still be 6 years old. I know my daughter would love this but I'm happy to wait a couple of years if you think some parents may not agree with it at this age.

Because it’s leading her on a vacuous path, just look at what’s been posted here. So sad. Don’t you want her to be interesting? Don’t you want more for her? You need to open up her world.

My daughter went to her wee friends 5th party age 4 for one. It was brilliant, cucumber on their eyes, foot spa, nails painted, hair done like rumi with pink, purple clip in hair and lots of glitter and glitter on their face. They danced and sang and got little photos. Things they do at home anyway. She's having one for her 5th birthday.

I would not encourage these things nor fund a party. I have been teaching 30 plus years. It's sad to see girls as young as y7 feeling they can't go out without a face full of make up

I'd look for something craft like or invite a friend to a day out.

Ridiculous. Let them play fgs.

I wouldn’t like if my child was invited to something like this. The cat walk thing at the end is just creepy. What’s wrong with people?

If my Dc had been invited to something like this aged 7 we would have quickly found that we were busy with an alternative family event…

Children don’t do that at home, though. Or they shouldn’t be if they are. Poor parenting.

I wouldn’t let my daughter go. I can’t stand mums trying to force their girls into being a mini me. They should be playing and having fun, not thinking about their appearance. Grim.

It’s not the girly or feminine aspect that I dislike though. I’d think absolutely nothing about a party at a ballet studio, or a jewellery making party (just to pluck a couple of random stereotypical female interests out of thin air). It’s not the femininity, it’s the absolute focus on appearance and making themselves physically look more beautiful. That’s not something that should be encouraged for 6 year old girls. A better comparison would be if we wanted little boys to go to a party focused on spray tanning their abs and muscles, and styling their hair with sea salt spray. I wouldn’t be keen on that for my son at 6 either…..but we don’t have those kind of parties for young boys, because boys are fine how they are, they aren’t expected to pamper themselves to look more beautiful.

Painting their nails with kids nail polish while mum does hers, getting her hair in plaits and wanting glitter or sparkles on, singing and dancing, its dress up, role play and just like every other part of playing. My daughter absolutely does this and so do all the other little girlsand boys i know. She also plays playdoh, games, arts and crafts goes to gymnastics, football, wrestles her brothers, plays barbies, cars, baby dolls, makes jewellery etc. When in nursery they get their face painted, glitter tattoos on fun days and they also ask the teachers to style their hair. How is that any different. When you were a kid did you not dress up, try your mums make up on, badly of course.

What are they role-playing as @Amber2019 ?

I think it’s too young. Purely because most 6 year olds won’t sit there and get nails done and chocolate would be flying around everywhere and get on everything. Probs give it a few more years. I don’t think most 6 year olds would love this even if your daughter did. You could do a little day you and her at home?

“Painting their nails with kids nail polish while mum does hers, getting her hair in plaits and wanting glitter or sparkles on”. This is not normal stuff, no.

I would never allow a child to have nail varnish or glitter or “sparkles”. The singing and dancing is fine.

This is not playing dress-up and definitely not role play. That’s completely different. Pretending to be a witch or unicorn princess is fine.

And no, of course I didn’t try on my mum’s makeup! My mum didn’t really use makeup. I wouldn’t have dreamt of playing with it. And my DC never used mine either. It’s not something to encourage. It would be something to tell them off about. Honestly, have some parenting standards.

Normal in my world then and when I was growing up I'd do the same with my mum. It was lovely, the same way my son likes to fix his hair with his dad when getting ready. I feel like this is an alternate universe. My kids also like to bake when I'm baking, help make dinner, help tidy up. They copy us, it's fun, they get involved. They also pretend to drive the car while we do it. I honestly don't see the issue. It's not like I'd let my child go out the door with make up on. I see young teens wearing full faces of make up, doing skin care at 10 etc, I absolutely wouldn't allow my child to do that but a bit of glitter, a bit of mums lipstick at home? Go ahead, have fun.

Role playing at a salon. The same as Role playing with babies, using a toy kitchen as a cafe, playing with the leaves and mud outside to make potions like a witch, playing with a doctors kit pretending to be a doctor. Kicking a football around playing football like their favourite football player. My daughter absolutely hates getting her hair done but loved getting her hair like rumi that day.

My daughter did and she loved it.
they had face masks, foot spa and had their nails painted.
After that had some afternoon tea style sandwiches, cakes etc and then a little dance party with glitter for their hair.
they all had a great time x

wow! should i explain to my daughter who is working at greater depth in at least 6 subjects, that she shouldn't have had the party she chose with her four friends for her birthday because she isn't the right sort of girl?

My daughter had a pamper party for her 7th birthday with her four friends and her brother. They all had a brilliant time! They did karaoke and had loads of snacks. It was really fun. None of them are particularly girly girlys into that sort of thing, they just thought it was a lot of fun to do - there was no catwalk, I'm not sure they'd have liked that, but the rest was great! All the mums were very happy with it (I know them well so they weren't just saying it).

It makes me so sad that parents think it’s OK to have little girls think the normal way of the world is that they need skincare and things to make them ‘pretty’. And we wonder why girls have so much more emotional pressure growing up.

I wouldn’t mind DD1 going (she’s 7) but I think she might be a bit baffled by it all. She does like having her nails painted but more from a bright colours and nail art point of view, not really the manicure experience and I think the other stuff would be a bit strange to her although maybe she would enjoy it. None of her her friends have had this kind of party but I guess maybe that’s the point as presumably your DD’s friends are similar to her in interests etc and they would enjoy it?

Otherwise have you thought about pottery painting or something? That went down a storm for DD1’s 7th birthday.

My daughter had a pamper party for her 7th birthday!! I got the girls all matching pjs did face masks and nails had loads sweets they absolutely loved it

I wouldn't like this at all and would really be judging you I'm afraid.
That said, I wouldn't want my DD to be left out, so would probably let her go if I couldn't find an excuse... (oh look, suddenly we have plans to see Granny that day...)

I wouldn’t let my children go to that sort of party at that age and I’d probably think the parents were a bit basic for having that sort of party.

We generally considered party ideas that were inclusive for boys and girls and focused on fun and burning energy.

When my 90s born DC were this age we had the Early Learning Centre promoting toys for children rather than boys’ toys and girls' toys. We also had no expectations on girls at infant and primary school to wear “modesty shorts” under their dresses.

Progress eh?