How to stop stranger toddler touching my baby…

[SomethingYum]

Please be gentle, I already feel like sh!t

ive taken my baby twice now to a playgroup type place. Every time a little girl aged 2+ (I’d say 2.5/3) came up to us multiple times, like every 3 mins, and kept saying, “baby baby baby baby” whilst touching my baby on the head/stroking.

The first time I thought she’d say hello and be off. But after the next and the next return I told the girl no touching but she either doesn’t understand or doesn’t listen. No parent in sight.

today I saw the mum, she’s either busy chatting to another mum or is on her phone. She said something to me about how the toddler just likes babies. The toddler again kept doing the same thing, and I was visibly uncomfortable the whole time. My baby didn’t cry was withdrew every time the toddler reached for her and looked confused and a bit intimidated. It culminated in the toddler throwing (thankfully a soft) ball at me and my baby (I hold her the whole time and feel very on edge). The ball hit my baby but she didn’t react as it was soft rubber.

I am very annoyed with myself. I am not ok with my daughter’s head being stroked. I don’t want objects thrown at us. I am upset because as I walked away today I realised I was teaching my baby girl unwanted physical contact should be tolerated. I feel awful.

I don’t want to stop going to this place, it’s a nice setting. How would you respond in my shoes? How can I stop this?

today my baby was the only one there but last week there were quite a few others but still the toddler only wanted mine

That sounds really annoying if you can't have a conversation cos this kid is constantly at you.

I'd start taking her over to her mum. "Oh haha she thinks she's a grown up trying to join in our chat"

Don't be sucked into entertaining other people's kids.

My child loves babies but I keep a very close watch on him when he is around them because some mums don't want children touching their babies.

My eldest loved it though. We didn't know many other children so he really enjoyed the attention of toddlers when he was a baby.

You’re being very pfb OP. I don’t understand the reluctance to say say how old your baby is? There’s no way a babe in arms looks confused and intimidated by a child touching their head.

I think you need professional help

Are you serious, our girls in particular love babies it's almost like there trying to fathom a person smaller than they are, there's a few at our play group and the babies love it to seeing the wee ones interested in them. Lighten up it's all part of learning for the kiddies

Yup

As long as you keep going to playgroups you are going to end up supervising other people's children.

In your shoes, I'd stay home and read to or play with your baby there. There is no benefit whatsoever to your baby to being at a playgroup, and it will just stress you out.

I would hold my hand out in a stop gesture and loudly say ‘no thank you’ while smiling. Keep repeating until she gets the hint or mum finally realises and decides to do some parenting.
My 2 year old likes babies and is happy when she sees them, but I remind her that we look with our eyes and if they’re asleep to be quiet.

Your baby will be doing exactly the same thing.

A very normal behaviour and interaction
is the toddler able to be guided to touch her hand.
I think you are being overly protective.

If your baby is a few months old I totally understand. However I think she must be a lot older otherwise you wouldn't be in a playgroup. A toddler explores the world touching things she sees a cute baby and wants to touch her. You just need to say no and move your baby. Your baby will reach toddler hood soon and you will realise you really did over react about this!

Ah I don’t know, I was thinking that perhaps the baby is actually too young to get anything out of this playgroup or to be doing the solo playing that the OP says they are doing which is why the OP is hesitant to say.. I’m thinking back to the days when my precious first born and the rest of his NCT cohort were at Baby Sensory from about 3-4 weeks old and we were all pretending they were getting something out of it!

Find a new m&t’s. However a toddler throwing a soft ball at you is what you get when going to these places. As fior the touching, it’s annoying but again typical of toddlers. Some mums police their children better than others. You might be more sympathetic when your own baby becomes a toddler.