Keep hearing people say it’s easier the more children you have? Is it really?

[TurtleTreasure]

I have 4 children and I keep hearing “the more children you have the easier it is” am I crazy for not finding this the case? I don’t regret my decision but it definitely does not feel “easier” the rare times I’m with just one of them I can’t believe how much easier it is, even with 2 it’s a lot easier, we went to a local splash park and it was just so much easier not having to pack so much stuff and even just keeping an eye on two children instead of 4, the days when only one is at home (say if the others are at school) it’s so much more relaxed and quieter, I hear it’s easier because they occupy each other or play together but often my children argue a lot, there can be lots of teasing or bickering or they ask or expect me to play with them (often see people assuming it’s only children that expect this) and financially it cost a lot more. Is it really true the more you have the easier it is? Or is it down to what dynamics there are how many boys vs girls?

I only have 2 and I seriously doubt it gets easier the more you have. Having one of my children on their own feels closer to having no children than it does to 2.

I’ve never heard anyone say that tbh. I think the more kids you have the less you notice things and perhaps your standards slip.
I’ve 1 and have found it incredibly easy. My friends with 2 just end up refereeing fights or dealing with jealousy.

I imagine it does if you dump the parenting on the oldest children

I’m from a big family and my experience was that this definitely wasn’t true. It’s something people say to make themselves feel better about not having the time and attention for their children.

Me and my siblings have all gone on to have only 2 children or no children at all. Quite telling I think.

I have four too. It’s definitely harder at times, but I do find it easier often as well. They look after and entertain each other.

Course it is if you make the older children parent the younger kids.

I’ve never heard anyone say that. I have one and I have no doubt it would be a hell of a lot harder with more

I've never heard anyone say this either.

I do think there is truth in the fact that dc will entertain each other for some stages of their childhood, rather than adults having to entertain them, but over all life isn't 'easier', although some people would say it is a lot more fun.

It’s a very common saying, ive heard friends say it, family and seen people online saying it online recently so im surprised no one has heard it.

Have heard it. It's rubbish. Children are expensive and parenting is time consuming.

It's only easier if you've offloaded the work onto someone else or are neglecting your children - or both.

Maybe on MN. Maybe if you wanted several anyways. Definitely it's easier if you have girls first because they are more likely to help with younger siblings. My gran had 5! When my mother complained about 2, gran's comment was that 'two was about as bad as it ever gets' because after that the older 2 could start helping.

In the past, I've seen articles saying that two and both girls is the easiest set up.

Neighbours have 3 and admit that although they love 3rd dearly, it adds a lot more to everything. Others I know with 3 have said similar: half a child too many. Logistically, more than 2 is tough: bigger house, bigger car, smaller/more expensive hols, complicated schedules for school/sport/hobbies. And the ferrying goes on for ever!!! My two are teens and are largely self-sufficient but friends with more than 2 are still in the trenches just as much as I was 5yrs ago.

Mine are 19yo, 16yo, 10yo and 9yo. It's BS that it's easier the more you have. Try raising adult children amongst it who have additional needs. There's nothing easy about it! The younger two have additional needs. I don't regret having 4DC but there are days I do really struggle.

It gets easier per child imo as in, a lot of the worry and anxiety for me is much lower with subsequent children. But then you have to multiply the difficulty by 2, 3, 4+ depending on how many kids you have so of course it is overall harder.

I have 4 kids, and I do wish I could go back and re-parent my eldest with the confidence, joy and "don't sweat the small stuff" my youngest has experienced.

My caveat would be if you are parenting with sadness around your family size - I think that must make it harder whether it's that you've had a child you have regretted, or not been able to have as many children as you'd like due to financial, medical or circumstantial constraints.

Mine argue and bicker if that's another interpretation of "entertaining" each other...

I think it’s different it also depends how you deal with conflict between them, their age gaps and personalities.

Mine were close in age and played well together. So when I just had one or two the time together was cherished/enjoyed.

I think only 2 children naturally creates competition for the parents time.

Again though personalities play their part regardless.

No its what people with too many DC say as they are defensive
Aye 4 times the cost, food, bedrooms, noise, mess !

No I’ve heard lots of people say it, my sister has one and use to tell me life must be much easier with 4 as they can “play together” when in reality I spend far more time breaking up fights than they do playing

Well some parts are easier; I’ve never heard a mom of 2-3 debate strollers/bedding/crib/detergent choice. By number 2-3 school choice, meal planning and potty training is simply part of life.
The lack of personal time, the budgeting, the personality clashes, are harder.
by 3-4 you simply don’t sweat the small stuff and some clearly don’t give a shit and that’s a much easier attitude than investing in 1-2 and fretting if eating the dogs kibbles means going to a&e.

I would not have said this when my youngest was under 4. But now they’re 9 and 6 and the best of pals I wonder if it’s not far off the mark. There have been plenty of days this summer when DP and I have got to relax a bit because they just go off and play together for hours. Obviously the flip side is that it’s double the admin/logistics/homework etc but on that point it is easier I think. I can’t remember when I last had to play an imaginative game!!

I can understand two but some of the ones I’ve seen have said 5-6 are easier than one 😂

Jesus no. I only have 2 and the days I have both are so much more difficult than then the days I have only 1. The days with just 1 are so so easy! But I have 2 loud, lovely, energetic, full on boys that seem to wind each other up exponentially. Maybe if I had 2 placid kids that were calm individually but even calmer with a play mate it would be different.

It's just something people say, because 'I can't imagine why you inflicted that on yourself' would be rude.

Yeah that I do not get!!! 😂

This is what happened in my family. My dm used to make this statement a lot!

It's absolute garbage. Sort of nonsense my mother said. Just justifying having too many children to give adequate time to each, or even know what was going on each of them (bar 'the baby' or 'the boy' as they were important)