At what age do children start learning basic household jobs?

[Tomorrowkeepscoming]

I know this’ll have many different answers for different contexts, but roughly at what age does everyone think it’s reasonable to get children to start learning to do things for themselves and around the house? A few examples:

• make their own toast (supervised)
• strip beds and learn how to make them
• empty and load dishwasher
• laundry basics
• cleaning basics

when I was a child I learnt all these things by observation firstly then some instruction and I was desperate to be grown up and responsible. These days, it feels like if it’s not on a screen, it’s not real and kids don’t want any responsibility at all.

A 10 year old should be able to do do everything on that list.

Start as early as you can and ingrain it into them. Even toddlers can help tidy their own toys. So many parents fail to prepare their children for adults life these days and it's terrible parenting.

Mine are only 3 and 4, so too young for most. Tho they do at times unload dishwasher other than cups/mugs as can't reach

They put stuff in compost bin, bin or recycling. Put stuff (when they feel like it) in washing machine if get it dirty downstairs. 3yr still asks which is washer & dryer atm. Put their pants in the laundry basket before a bath.

I think in the next 12 months they'll be able to do their own toast. Can do their own cereal atm if milk isn't too full (heavy)

Hopefully by 6 will be able to properly load dishwasher rather than place it in a random way.m

I’ve had mine doing toast from about 4 and helping with the dishwasher unloading at that age. They load it from about 8, and can reliably now do laundry, cleaning, floors and surface, cook etc at 10. They make me tea/coffee from about 7. Strip beds…7-8, but remake one more like 10.

My youngest is 8 now and they all can do almost anything they’re asked. Painted a fence this week. They do all the bins.

Takes some nudging to do most things but they’ve become brilliant help. Still so so much housework as we’re a family of 6 and both DH and I have busy full time jobs but we’re a team now rather than it being all on me.

Mine have ‘helped’ since 18 months. I don’t have a dishwasher but they are still expected to take their plate out. On a cleaning day they ‘help’ me for a good hour, the polish (without actual polish), sweep floors, hoover, hang up washing, tidy the play room l, strip the beds, put on their pillow cases etc. my youngest is 2 and doesn’t even realise it’s housework. After tidying and cleaning on cleaning day they get a £1 and we go straight to the shop or ice cream van and they spend the money. Granted it’s often more than a £1

We built up to things - we learnt to sort laundry and check pockets from a young age, then put it in the machine, set the program under supervision, but we didn't do the detergent until a bit older, because we weren't trusted to do the right amount.

Thry can probably make their own beds if it's a case of straightening the pillows and duvet. Stripping the bed is easy, but we probably needed help with actually making the bed with clean sheets for a but linger than being left to do it aline, but if you've got two to make a bed from scratch, it's easier anyway, so we helped from young.

Loading a dishwasher shouldn't be too difficult if they're old enough to carry a plate or glass.

You build up over time, according to what thry can do. Do things together, then when you know they know what to do, they can do it alone. You don't start with them up a ladder cleaning windows, but they can tidy toys from quite little.

I don't remember exact ages forr those tasks listed, but as above, starting early makes all the difference.
Mine were 'helping' with all kinds as soon as they could. A one Yr old can match socks in a pile, bundle stuff into the machine, turn a dial and press a button, stack all the plastics for washing etc. There's loads of little jobs they can be given so it becomes the norm. By last year of primary my two were ticking off cleaning jobs of the 'house list' without needing much assistance.
Now at 18 and 15 they do all their own laundry, keep on top of their rooms and the dishwasher and do anything around the house we need of them, pretty well and without much complaining. I mean, I have ti prompt them, ciz they're teenager not robots, but thats ok.
Oh, they cook too. Can sort themselves a hot lunch and do family tea at least once a week each.

You let your 4 year old use a toaster?!

Well obviously not the things on that list, but a baby that can sit up and purposefully grab and drag objects can help tidy toys into a box.

So my answer is that children start basic household jobs from a very early age and you incrementally increase expectations in an age appropriate way as they get older. In fact the pre-school years are great for the observation (and "helping" side as everything is a game. A 2 or 3 year old can help to strip a bed and put the bedding in the washing machine even if they aren't yet that great at making the bed and can't operate the washing machine on their own. A 4 or 5 year old can carry their own plate and cutlery to the kitchen even if they able to load the dishwasher unaided.

I'd say most of things on that list are part of the brownie/cub badges (or they used to be; not so familiar with the current badges) so there is an expectation that they are manageable by a child on their own at age 7/8, potentially with supervision (e.g. putting food in the oven). I know my DC's school had a residential in Year 4 (so age 8-9) and they expected children to make their own bed when they got to the residential place.

Put a small jug(s) of milk in the fridge ready, just enough for a bowl of cereal 😉
No need to touch the big milk 👍

Yes, it’s just push down a button and wait. You really think that’s high risk? I was expecting some criticism about them using a kettle at 7 more than the toaster.

kids can do so much more than people think and they learn fast.

My 8 year old nephew can do all those. Could prob do it from 5.

Why do you think a 4yo shouldn’t use a toaster? 🫣

I have a 9 and 14 year old and they do no chores whatsoever. I do expect them to bring empty cups/wrappers from rooms they have been in but they need constant reminding 🤷🏻‍♀️. I also have a 24 year old who did no chores and when he went off to uni he managed just fine. Life is long and chores are aplenty. I let them enjoy being idle while they can 😝

What's the issue with that? Put bread in top, push button down and wait.

They should be encouraged to do chores from toddler onwards. My son could do laundry, his own ironing, necessary cleaning and cook basic meals and baking at 10.
I was a single mum with a full time job so I didnt have time to wait on him 24/7.
I didnt want him to leave home hopeless so we did bank accounts, budgeting, bills and paperwork storage too.

Why do you think a four year old can’t use a toaster?!

My kids’ nursery took them to woods a lot and by 4 they were taught how to make fire to start a campfire.

Kids are capable of more than we think.

The one thing I’ve learned on MN is that people often have this weird idea that children ‘need to learn’ these things over years (they don’t - one week at uni sorts it out). And funny how children are meant to contribute to domestic chores but men are never expected to.

The best way to get your kids contributing and picking up household chores is for both parents to role model it.

So my 5 year old makes her own toast- with toast tongs
She helps load and unload dishwasher
She helps sweep floors
She wipes and sprays low cupboards and island...

You are a better person than me. My main motivation for introducing my children to normal household jobs from an early age was driven as much by the desire to not have to do them myself as to teach my children the necessary skills.

And actually, I don't think mums (and let's face it, it normally is mums) should have to be their children's unpaid housekeepers.

My general approach is to wait til an age where I think they can do it without supervision once told, as I dont have the patience to let a three year old make toast (say) and then supervise them every time til the are six or whatever age I can stop worrying they will burn themself

On holiday when DD was 8 I asked her to put a fitted sheet over bunk bed and she could do it with minimal instruction. Previous year she couldn’t manage.

Stripping bed, easier, probably 5

Toast 5 or 6 to be trusted with it. Younger if you want to stand over them

Dishwasher, no (except maybe the cutlery tray) as I don’t want all my plates chipped

Laundry no, similar reasons, dont want jumpers shrunk and whites made grey. Maybe when they are in secondary but strictly for their own clothes.

cleaning the hard floors with a cloth though- great from babyhood!

Ds knew at three, when he took his dirty pants and socks off, they went straight in the laundry basket.

He used to copy me and “help” as soon as he could toddle.

Mine is nearly 8 and she can use the washing machine, feed the dog, tidy up, make herself breakfast, do some basic cooking. She's been "helping" me from very young.

What country do you live in where men are never expected to do domestic chores?! Afghanistan? I don’t know a single family where men are expected to do nothing.

I was a child who literally did no chores and it did me no favours. I was utterly incapable and never really got into a routine of cleaning, resenting it and the time it took, living in chaos instead. I want to try to teach my kids the benefit of ‘keeping on top of things’ and routine to reduce mental load. And honestly, I’m only just learning this myself

I think it's important to be clear about the work that goes into keeping a household running and expecting them to do age appropriate things to help. My toddler puts rubbish in the bins, dirty clothes in her wash basket, wipes up spills, helps with sorting/folding washing (more help than hindrance but hey ho), puts books/toys away at the end of the day.

When we're doing housework she has the choice to join in or play independently. She normal joins in.