Accidentally spilled tea on my baby

[BigPoipleOne]

I accidentally spilled tea on my 24 week old baby yesterday evening. It was just a few drops but he was very upset and I'm worried I have done lasting harm. I took off his clothes and put some cotton wool with water on the affected area. I called the phone number 111 but it is not available where I live. I called into Boots this morning and the pharmacist didn't say much, just said "Accidents happen" and "There's not much you can do". He agreed with my suggestion of Sudocrem so I put on a bit of that. He also auggested Calpol but my baby is in fine form today and no temperature so I didnt give any Calpol. I'm trying to attach a photo of what the area looked like a few minutes after I spilled the tea, and another photo taken this morning.
I feel really awful. A midwife in the hospital where he was born told me even a slight burn to a baby's skin can have lasting damaging impact on the baby's immune system.

OP, this is barely even a burn at all. It’s mildly pink and your baby is cheerful and happy and unbothered. You’ve done zero harm.

Ignore all the twats on here sneering about first aid courses and not drinking hot drinks. They’re just being smug and enjoying putting you down. You are not a ‘useless’ mother and you haven’t harmed your lovely, happy baby who probably forgot any of this happened within about 10 minutes. You’re doing absolutely grand.

You’re just wallowing now OP. Or are you trying to get everyone to say what a marvelous job you’re doing.
The truth is you messed up but you got lucky. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Use it as an opportunity to learn. You won’t be waving hot liquid about again while your SIX MONTH old child is near you.

Sure, let's ignore the well-known chances of depression and anxiety in new mothers and kick her when she's already down. All your post will do is make her feel worse, instead of recognising that her spiralling might be indicative of something more.

is feeling useless a sign of PND? My baby is 4 months and I get so worried about him having naps that it makes me feel bad if he’s skipped one or he just doesn’t go down for one… my husband has obviously noticed it upsets me because this morning my baby woke up at 5 and I was anxiously trying to get him down again and he said I mustn’t get so worried! Sometimes I miss baby group so he can nap as I like to protect them. I didn’t think it was PND but from a couple posts asking OP if she’s talked to the GP about her feelings I’m now wondering

It can be. I don't know a mother that doesn't feel useless at points, especially in the early days when sleep deprived etc, but if the op is stuck spiralling and ruminating then I think its right to see how she's feeling and coping generally.

@BigPoipleOne post natal depression is really common and lots of mothers struggle with poor mental health when their children are infants. Please do speak to your health visitor or gp about it, they will support you.

Is it possible to make an appointment with your health visitor, if not your GP. I think you may be struggling and need a little support. Your baby will be fine, but you are hyper focused on the incident and very anxious. This is understandable and not unusual at all, but it may help if you talk to someone and get some strategies in place to help you feel more confident and less worried. Best wishes

To answer you more specifically, feeling useless is really common but if you're struggling with anxiety and low mood generally then it's worth talking to your health visitor and/or gp.

If you read up on post natal depression too, you can see if anything else jumps out at you, but if your mental health isn't great generally then please do reach out for support- babies are hard!

When DD was a baby, I was changing her nappy on a changing mat on top of a chest of drawers. (We had visitors, so had moved the mat out of her room into ours).

I turned round to pick up a nappy and in that time she managed to roll off the mat and hit the floor, bouncing on her head.

Me and DP we absolutely convinced we'd broken her for days afterwards, despite all evidence pointing to the opposite. She's now 18, and about to get 4 A's at A-level, so I obviously didn't give her that much brain damage!

Every single parent on the planet has a story like this. Something they did or didn't do that meant that their child came to some form of harm. It means we're human, not useless. One mistake doesn't make you a bad parent.

And don't think it ends with them being a baby either. DD has a scar on her back that she got at a waterpark when a wave knocked her off her feet and she got dragged along the bottom by it. I still feel guilty about it despite the fact she was 15 at the time!

But you can get used to drinking warm drinks. Let it really cool down. Or make iced coffee.

I spent time in hospital when my baby was 3 months. It was in the children's ward.

At least 3 babies were brought in with drinks burns in that time. It was awful, one boy had full body burns from a cup of coffee spilt on him. It was awful. One parent has to stay with the baby at all times as well. It was heartbreaking watching these families.

Never drink a hot drink whilst holding a child.

You are human. Humans make mistakes.

One of mine managed to reach up to a table and pull an entire cup of black coffee over herself - she wasn’t even walking and the coffee was nowhere near the edge of the table. I panicked then stuck her under the cold tap in the bathroom for the requisite time, then called the GP who said “probs fine but bring her in” and by the time I arrived there was just some minor pink marks like yours.

The GP was kind and told be about comparable mistakes she had made when her DC were at this stage.

You did the right thing, the baby will be fine. Anyone telling you such a minor event will have a life long effect on their immunity is talking through their arse.

Ditto people telling you never to hold a hot drink - if I’d listened to that with my first I’d never have eaten or drunk anything. As parents we learn to navigate the world as it is, not how glossy leaflets present it - that includes making mistakes and learning from them.

Aloe Vera gel will help - we keep a tube in the fridge for burns.

He’ll be fine. Just keep an eye on it. I spilled superglue on my baby once.. she had to sit in the bath for ages until it dissolved. She’s 19 now. No adverse effects.

You know sunburn and a hot water burn are totally different? Sunburn blisters are caused by radiation damaging the cells dna, the hot water immediately kills cells (if it’s bad, but yours don’t look too bad!)

Rest assured your baby will be fine. Is already fine. If the pharmacist had any concerns they would have referred you on with a very low threshold. If you’re still worried ask to see the doctor, they won’t mind.

We have all, done something like this. For some it’s trapping skin in a buckle, others it’s something hot, others have let baby roll off a sofa etc… my child got his hair caught in my dress and a big chunk pulled out (it was awful, but no lasting damage). I have a friend who’s baby grabbed the washing pod and bit it as she was loading the machine! She’s not a terrible mother, and nor are you. Accidents happen. Next time you’ll be more careful.

get a Stanley thermos cup. I used one when breastfeeding, really helpful!

I do genuinely feel awful most of time. i have an appointment with a perinatal psychiatrist tomorrow, which was made weeks ago.
Regarding the baby, I got an appointment for the treatment room of my local health centre this morning and saw a nurse who said the area looked fine, so there is no further need to comment, and thanks to all who replied.

I too was obsessed with naps! Worrying about naps isn’t a problem, I also missed groups so they could nap- sleep is important as it means you get to sleep better at night. Sleep is essential for you to function! but if you feel generally low, upset, very anxious speak to the gp

Totally agree! Why are there so many revolting bullies on MN?
Every Mum ( apart from the perfect ones on this thread) will have had some kind of mishap with their babies/ children!

I dont even need to ask if you are a first time mum! .I remember the anxiety over keeping them safe so well. Anyway accidents happen and it could have been a lot worse . It will be a lesson learned for sure and you are not a terrible mum at all. Every parent has unintentionally injured their child at one time or another and yes it knocks you sick with panic but give it a couple of days and you.will calm down and all will be well.

I’m sure you won’t drink hot drinks with your baby in your arms so don’t worry. But also you need to look after your MH, you’re not useless and you do need to feel better too.

It is correct advice. If you cant put a baby down,drink lukewarm tea. The effect of a cup of boiling water on a baby or infant is far more severe than on an adult.

I did that to my one week old! Panicked and took him straight to A&E! By the time we got there and were seen he was completely fine, but I had completely not realised that most of the tea fell on to my leg and I was scaled quite badly under my jeans.

We feel worse about these things than they really are. Most important thing is that your child is ok.

I'm really glad you have an appointment scheduled. Please be gentle with yourself - what would you say to a friend in this situation?

Babies are very resilient and you come across as a great mum, your anxieties and feelings are totally normal- mum guilt is a whole other level, and that's before you throw in poor mental health.

Just pay attention to the similar stories from other mums reassuring you and remember that this will get better

Be honest at your appointment tomorrow so they can help you as best they can. I think you do seem quite anxious so it's worth getting some support in place.

Baby will be fine. It's a tiny pink mark. When my son was all of about ten seconds old he was in his moses basket on the floor in front of me on the sofa. An entire, hot, just delivered, large Dominos pizza slid off my lap and straight onto the baby. He's fine. My pizza was also fine. These things happen and you've sought appropriate advice and treatment.

He doesn't remember it now of course - but he finds it hilarious to remind me of the time I "saved the pizza first"!

I updated the thread this morning in light of my appointment with a nurse and said that there was no further need to comment on this. Thank you.

Calpol has been recommended for pain relief not a temperature. He can’t say if it hurts which pharmacist is probably presuming it is. Nice cool bath and coat it in suocrem. There’s not much more you can do it’s not blistered thankfully. We all have accidents and make mistakes.