Accidentally spilled tea on my baby

[BigPoipleOne]

I accidentally spilled tea on my 24 week old baby yesterday evening. It was just a few drops but he was very upset and I'm worried I have done lasting harm. I took off his clothes and put some cotton wool with water on the affected area. I called the phone number 111 but it is not available where I live. I called into Boots this morning and the pharmacist didn't say much, just said "Accidents happen" and "There's not much you can do". He agreed with my suggestion of Sudocrem so I put on a bit of that. He also auggested Calpol but my baby is in fine form today and no temperature so I didnt give any Calpol. I'm trying to attach a photo of what the area looked like a few minutes after I spilled the tea, and another photo taken this morning.
I feel really awful. A midwife in the hospital where he was born told me even a slight burn to a baby's skin can have lasting damaging impact on the baby's immune system.

You haven’t done permanent harm, you’ve done all the right things and you are not useless. Being in charge of a sentient being 24/7 is really tough and you need to be kind to yourself. I hate to be “that” person but if you are dwelling on this it might be worth seeing your GP to rule out PND.

Don't overegg it OP.

Accept you made a mistake with the hot drink, a mistake that many parents make. You are not unusual. I haven't done the hot drink one, but my baby did fall off the bed which is just as bad.

Make use of the mistake. Think about how you can prevent it next time, and about how you can do first aid better. Google is your friend in a first aid situation!

Basically, don't sit there moaning how terrible you are. Admit you are human and seize the chance to change. Then move on.

In future for any burn cool the area asap is the best treatment. Most of the tissue damage occurs from the heat in the first 10 minutes after the burn. So cold flannel/something from fridge.

Big unMumsnetty hugs. I'm sure most of us have had minor accidents with our little ones at some point. My baby rolled on the floor from bed (something I always thought would never happen in my care) ... I felt absolutely terrible for days and even weeks. Thankfully no damage was done.

You sound like a very caring mother. Please don't be hard on yourself. Your little one will be fine x

I was a lax 80s mum but one of my few rules was no hot drinks anywhere near baby. On the other hand, I once slammed a hatchback boot door down on my child's head.

All parents have a few accidents, mishaps or thoughtless moments. ALL.

Your baby isn't really scalded or injured, just a bit pink. They'll be fine. Stop beating yourself up about it. You'll not do it again, lesson learned, we all learn some the hard way.

So you just have cold caffeinated drinks instead yrs very simple.

Please give baby calpol today they will still be sore even if not crying.

Baby isn’t permanently harmed. See this as a lesson that has potentially prevented a bigger injury later. Look at my post ‘ex DP burnt my baby’ there is some good advice for websites to prevent accidents there

Take him to the GP or health visitor tomorrow and explain how you feel.

They can advise if there is anything to do for your LO medically (IMO - no - keep the area clean and dry, don't put sudocrem on it.)

In future if you ever are in the position again, put the baby in the sink, bath or shower, and run cold or tepid water over the place of the burn - cotton wool with cold water won't do much to cool it down. Yes they will scream but it's better than them being injured.

However, even with the first aid not being quite right, it doesn't look like a serious injury which would cause lasting harm. It was an accident and you will probably never have any hot drinks near them again. I remember when my first baby was about 3 or 4 months old, I was making a cup of tea and accidentally knocked the cup off the counter towards me. DS1 was on my hip at the time, and screamed immediately. I stuck his foot under the tap and then went crying round to my neighbour who drove us to A&E at my request. (I had no car). When we got there I explained and we were put into a room - DS was perfectly happy and smiley by this time. The doctor was asking which foot it was and I looked at both feet and said this one, because it looked slightly red to me. She was pressing it and he wasn't crying or making any noise and I suddenly realised it couldn't possibly have been that foot because I only carry him on my left hip and so that foot would have been behind me. So I said so and she looked at the other foot and none of us could see any mark there. I realised sheepishly that he probably had not been burnt at all - I think he probably cried because I jumped backwards and shouted in alarm, which frightened him. I then realised I had quite a mark on my own hand and tummy where the water had splashed onto me. In my panic about him I had not even thought to check myself for injury. I did have a mark on both these places for several years but I can't see them any more.

We all have a story. If it makes you feel better, I dropped my eldest, whacked my middle one against the door jamb so she got a massive egg on her head, and shut the youngest’s finger in the car door. They were all fine. I felt bad, but, I only did each of those once. You’ll not spill hot drinks on the baby again.

Don’t be so hard on yourself @BigPoipleOne

It really doesn’t look too bad and your baby will be fine

The fact you’re worrying so much shows how much you care.

Give yourself a break.

The thing that will do most permanent harm to your baby is thinking like this. If you were a terrible mother then you wouldn’t care so much about getting it right. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s how we learn but if you are struggling then please speak to your GP or HV - it doesn’t need to be this hard. Babies are very resilient - they just need to be clean, fed, loved and not left on the bus.

Do take another first aid course though, it’ll give you some reassurance next time. Do you have a support system at home?

I switched to using flasks when my DC came along. They're needed even more when you have a toddler. I use the smash travel coffee flask you can get in sainsbury's. Even if you do spill - it's droplets, not an entire mug being knocked off the coffee table etc.

If you're still really worried tomorrow morning, or it looks worse, call your GP - they might have a service where you can send photos and just give you a bit of reassurance.

I don’t have caffeinated hot drinks, that isn’t the issue. Forgoing all hot drinks with a winter baby would be very miserable.

You should NEVER do this tho or if you do use a travel mug with a lid if you have too.

In case you ever have an accident again, cool running water is what you need. Really reduces damage. Dabbing with damp cotton wool unfortunately doesn’t do much. But that thankfully looks like it should heal pretty well.

Absolutely spot on. Signed, another mum of a former velcro baby.

Baby is fine no harm done. Buy a cup with a lid for your tea. Stays hotter longer too.

Mine had a bad burn as a baby (a&e, needed dressing changes etc) and several bad burns since. Bad luck, I'm not neglectful! The first involved a waiter and some very hot soup.

Baby is now a super healthy 11 year old who is never ill. Think you can relax.

I hope you’re all happy piling in on a mum who is clearly struggling? Does it make you feel good?

@BigPoipleOneyour baby is fine. Maybe try a refresher first aid course, or speak to your GP. You’re not a useless mum. You clearly care about your baby a lot, and he’s happy and healthy ❤️

Calpol is a pain reliever, not just for bringing down temperature. You're not useless, it was an accident and you won't let it happen again.

Agreed - but it's a minimum of 20mins ideally 30min (dr)

Oh love!! You are not useless! It was a mistake… I promise you your babe is going to be just fine. My dad went up a ladder whilst I was crawling on the floor next to him and he basically collapsed down on me… I screamed! But I live to tell the tale 30 years later. Still love my dad :)

Try and not think about it anymore as it’ll be bad for your mental health. You’re a wonderful Mum

A few drops would have been cold by the time they landed. A dribble would have been warmer, a splash moreso.

If it was just a couple of drops I think your anxiety is working overtime as no lasting damage could be done, especially if you consider how sore-looking a simple teething rash or nappy rash can be.

@BigPoipleOne are you struggling with your mood generally?

Pretty much all mothers to newborns would feel the way you do about the accident but your latest post makes me wonder if there's more going on. Were you feeling a bad mother before? Would you like to talk to us about it?