Lack of responses for 5th birthday party

[ExcitingTimes2023]

So my daughter has been asking for a party for her birthday basically she started reception and got her first party invite.

iv always been wary about having a party coz her birthday is in the summer holidays I was worried no one would come… anyway as she kept asked we decided to book one, nothing fancy. Just the local soft play and she invited all her class mates, so around 35.

so far we have only had one response. I’m already starting to feel very anxious no one will turn up and she will be upset. My number is on the invite that asks to let us know if they will be attending…. Is this the usual? Will people start to message over the next few weeks? the party isn’t until the first weekend of August.

She will be turning 5. I wasn’t expecting 30+ children to turn up but I was thinking at least 10 would respond.

Just feeling a bit anxious for her as she keeps talking about her party… x

Wow!!!

But also thanks so much for all the other helpful and supportive comments from other posters. Hearing your advice and experiences has made me feel a little better about the situation. I think I’m hopefully just panicking for no reason, I just don’t want my daughter to be disappointed is all. She is a shy and quiet girl but really wanted a party this year and was so excited taking her invitations into school. Pathetic but I actually feel a little tearful about it x

I saw another poster ask but didn't see a reply,...
Did you put a date on the invite to RSVP by? In my experience this helps so worth bearing in mind in future.

Sadly your thread has reminded me of a party one of my dd's went to 20+ years ago.
Like your dd the party was in the school holidays, for some reason forgotten to me, dh took dd to the party.

Out of 24 children invited, 3 turned up !

That was in the days of paper invites and either tear off slips to reply or a telephone number.

The mother did say to dh that more had said they would be coming.

I think it's hard if you haven't spoken to the parents and they don't know who you are. Has your daughter been invited to many parties?

Do you have any family or friends with children you can invite too?

In fairness your reply here is way worse than what the person you quoted said.

I’m glad you've realised after people have kindly posted here that you do have a way to contact various parents though, hopefully you’ll be able to get a few extra numbers off them too.

ah

This might be the reason you’ve had no responses.

No one wishes to engage with the lairy parent at the school gate.

All I pointed out was in the course of this short thread you have told us you have

no one’s number
then
I have two mum’s numbers
then
I have 5 numbers

Has your daughter only been invited to 5 parties over the course of the entire school year?

You should send the contact details you DO have to the 8 parents and ask if they have anyone else's numbers... they.all prob have a couple and you can do a group WA

I have a summer born and messaging the class really helped with getting numbers. We did a joint party with another child and managed 12 children including birthday girls.

We didn't really have many responses, so a friend who couldn't come and had told us separately messaged the group to say that she couldn't come and that triggered a handful of responses. We then sent out a reminder in the last week of term and that meant that we had 27 out of 30 respond with yes or no. Do you have any friends within the mums that could ask around for you at pick up?

There are 3 other August birthdays in my daughters class and this year they have all come up with a list off "favourite people" we have then messaged those parents for their availability and have set the date based on when the most of them can do. My daughter has a list of 5 names and we have found a date that 4 of them can make. Now we have a date we are planning the party and I think the invites with go out to 6-7 children.

I think you can work out that it probably hadn’t occurred to her that she’d still have texts with numbers from parties her DD has been invited to, until someone pointed it out on here and she started thinking about it. That’s why she posted for advice after all. You and OP are as pointlessly snarky as eachother

In my experience people don’t reply until closer to the day. Try not to panic I would think most people would be grateful for a free event to keep the children occupied on the summer. I’m sure it will be fine.

Absolutely not pathetic at all. Totally natural way to feel when it involves your child.

I'm probably not going to make you feel better - both of mine were August birthdays - we tried one birthday party for my son and we had quite a few responses - lots of those had forgotton/made other plans come the day of the party and there were lots of no shows - there was still enough there that my son was happy but I didn't do that again - they chose one or two friends and we had a whole day out instead with activities/cinema/food

Are you on the class WhatsApp?
I would just say don't forget it's Olivia's birthday on ? Tricky time of year I know but please let me know if you can make it or not.

X

Op I don’t really know anyone that does physical invites anymore. They get lost, thrown in the bin before parents even see them.

yoi need to actually get contacts for the parents. Are you sure there isn’t a what’s app group for your class and you were missed off it? Reach out to the ones whose number you have to check. And ask them how have they managed party invites before?

as I say all of ours now are either the class what’s app group for a whole class party, or you cypher from there the parents numbers for the kids you want to invite and set up a new group.

She answered this in her first reply

And what if she had ‘only’ been invited to 5 parties… you point would be what?

When in the party? "The summer holidays" are quite long. If it's next week then obviously be worried. If it's later in August then I am only just finalising exactly when will be away at the moment, so wouldn't have replied yet because I didn't know if we'd be here!

It says in the OP the first weekend of August.

I feel for you I really do. My 3 kids are older now but I’ve been through what you’re experiencing 3 times a year all through school and my oldest is 20. We don’t have a big family where you could rely on cousins to make the numbers up. Each year I used to say “never again” but when your kids are asking for a party you do it. I was always anxious when I didn’t get responses, we didn’t have WhatsApp groups, my kids were at breakfast and after school club so I didn’t really know the parents. People are just inconsiderate, yes, everyone has different priorities but it doesn’t take a minute to accept or decline an invite.Everyone knows that you have to pay for a minimum number of children in advance when you book soft play etc and then there’s the party bags.

Just wanted to say I understand exactly what you’re feeling. In my experience it has always worked out ok but it doesn’t stop the feeling of anxiety. It’s one of the “joys” of parenthood. Hope your little one has the best party.

I feel for you I really do. My 3 kids are older now but I’ve been through what you’re experiencing 3 times a year all through school and my oldest is 20. We don’t have a big family where you could rely on cousins to make the numbers up. Each year I used to say “never again” but when your kids are asking for a party you do it. I was always anxious when I didn’t get responses, we didn’t have WhatsApp groups, my kids were at breakfast and after school club so I didn’t really know the parents. People are just inconsiderate, yes, everyone has different priorities but it doesn’t take a minute to accept or decline an invite.Everyone knows that you have to pay for a minimum number of children in advance when you book soft play etc and then there’s the party bags.

Just wanted to say I understand exactly what you’re feeling. In my experience it has always worked out ok but it doesn’t stop the feeling of anxiety. It’s one of the “joys” of parenthood. Hope your little one has the best party.

This is such a nice reply. I hope @ExcitingTimes2023 sees it.

I would say for the next party you do, make sure you speak to the parents of her closest friends first and make sure they can attend (don’t book anything until you’ve run the date past them). Then you know her favourite people will be there and anyone else is a bonus.

If its not til August its not surprising some people haven't responded yet. If there is a class whatsapp group maybe put a post asking if invitees could RSVP for numbers