Lack of responses for 5th birthday party

[ExcitingTimes2023]

So my daughter has been asking for a party for her birthday basically she started reception and got her first party invite.

iv always been wary about having a party coz her birthday is in the summer holidays I was worried no one would come… anyway as she kept asked we decided to book one, nothing fancy. Just the local soft play and she invited all her class mates, so around 35.

so far we have only had one response. I’m already starting to feel very anxious no one will turn up and she will be upset. My number is on the invite that asks to let us know if they will be attending…. Is this the usual? Will people start to message over the next few weeks? the party isn’t until the first weekend of August.

She will be turning 5. I wasn’t expecting 30+ children to turn up but I was thinking at least 10 would respond.

Just feeling a bit anxious for her as she keeps talking about her party… x

This was my childhood too, nobody ever came to my august birthday parties, they were on holiday, sent to grandparents, with other parent living elsewhere etc. mostly the mums were polite enough to rsvp back then, even send a card and small gift sometimes but I so wanted a big party. I did years later by having it the Saturday before school started

Honestly I would be tempted to either postpone the party till September, or cancel and do something else (maybe with the 1 child who has rsvp ed?) What are the terms and conditions from the softplay? What is the minimum you have to pay for, and when does that have to be finalised? What is the last date for cancellations? Manage expectations with your dd, and explain lots of people are on holiday etc.Explain it is just bad luck, and not about her etc. It is so stressful for you, I really sympathise.

I know. I just don’t have anyone’s number so if i cancel and people just show up that’s even worse isn’t it… x

If they turn up and you’re not there, it’s unfortunate but not your fault. Leave a message at the soft play explaining you have had to cancel due to no responses.

Send a reminder invitation with response required by date, if you have no way of contacting parents directly. Then if no further response, you might need to come up with a plan B for the few who have confirmed - a smaller group party like a craft cafe or something (I don't know what little kids like these days!).

I think you need to do this @ExcitingTimes2023
It's very rude not to respond.

If you can't communicate with the other parents there isn't really another option, unless you ask the teacher to give a reminder with a reply by deadline to the parents.

How did you send the invitations out in the first place?

How many of the 35 numbers do you have from replying to their party invites?

Has school broken up yet?

Did you reply to any of the parties she was invited to by text/whatsapp? If so you could message that parent and see if they have contact details for the other parents and then create your own WhatsApp group with them in.
i had this with my sons reception party, very few responses but we do have a class WhatsApp so i chased them all up on there and most replied that they would be coming they had just forgotten to rsvp!

It's because the birthday is in the middle of the holidays. People should still rsvp though.

You ‘don’t think there is’, but you don’t know? Find out! That way all your problems are solved. I likewise used breakfast and afterschool clubs and only discovered at the nativity play of Year 1 that there was a class WhatsApp.

And if there isn’t one, then you need to make a concerted effort to gather phone numbers. You must have some. Ask those people if they mind passing on the numbers they have. Make a WhatsApp group where everyone has admin privileges called ‘X’s party’ with the invitation and a reiteration of the need to RSVP and a request to everyone on it to ask other parents they have contact with to add themselves to the group. It’s messy and time-consuming, but there’s no other way. I bet there is a class WhatsApp, though, in which case, happy days.

My daughter’s birthday is in August and for her first school party I think 3 people came! After that we had her party in July before they broke up. You’ve just reminded me- I think I’d blocked out the trauma!!! She had a nice time though.

This is a good suggestion.

It's almost the end of the year so there must have been other parties that your daughter / the other parent's children have attended.

Setting up a WhatsApp group is a really good idea. It's easier for people to RSVP, check when a party is, and means you avoid the possibility of lost paper invites.

I’ve just had the same experience, invited around 25 children and only a handful replied for my son’s 6th birthday party. I was seriously considering cancelling!
The party was this morning at the local soft play. Of the ‘yes’ replies, 3 children still didn’t turn up this morning. We ended up with around 10 children coming which ended up being a really nice number!

My son's birthday is the end of July. We usually have a party at the end of the first week of the school holidays so I always expect quite a few can't come, but it's definitely not been my experience that parents don't RSVP. He's having a class party in a couple of weeks and I've had 19 RSVPs (5 no's) and 10 who haven't replied yet. We do have a class WhatsApp group though so it's easy to chase up, which I will do this week before they break up for summer. I expect maybe the invitations got lost in school bags, I'd be tempted to send another lot of paper invites this week with an RSVP date to try to catch a few more parents.

What did you put as the RSVP date?

Surely you have parents' numbers from birthday parties during the year?

Message any parents you have RSVP'd to over the year.
Ask them if they have any other parent's numbers.

This might be a good chance to set up a class whatsapp too.

Yes I have about 5 parents numbers from various parties and I will message them during the week….
x

And ask them for other parents numbers

I’ve always had to chase for RSVPs. And learned pretty early on that summer birthdays must be done well before school breaks up.

Eeeeeeek if you posted this in advance I'd have said hold her party earlier in term time!

1. Try and get phone numbers and pin people down.
2. Make it clear - siblings welcome.

3.Invite ANY family friends with kids you can think of

Good luck
I'm a bit sweaty and nervous for you.....

Apologies. I have just checked and I do infact have 8 numbers…. Thanks so much for the helpful response to a fellow mother feeling a little anxious. Maybe I’ll check again and have 10 numbers!! Rude cow!

You know what… I stopped posting on mumnet a while ago coz of rude passive aggressive messages like yours. There is just no need to comment shit like this when someone is just asking for advise and help!