Father wants my heirloom ring back to gift to his new GF

[MRB21]

Don’t know why I’m posting this really but I feel at a loss of what to do. My grandmother died 10 years ago and approximately 4 years ago my dad gave me my grandmothers wedding ring as a gift. I have worn it everyday ever since until my hands were swollen due to pregnancy and it still doesn’t fit comfortably yet but it would be going back on. My father asked me for it back because he wants to give it to his new GF who he has been dating for 6 months (she never met my grandmother). Firstly the ring holds massive sentimental value to me and is the only thing I have of my grandmothers. Secondly should I be giving this back for him to regift to a woman who I / he barely knows? I feel upset that he would take it back to regift it when it’s so cherished by me. What are people’s thoughts please? Am I being overdramatic about it? Should I just give it back to him?

Tell him no. It would probably be best to leave it there but I might go on to explain things to him the way I would a love sick teenager. I'd start by saying that once something it given away it belongs to the person who received it. That's how gifts work. And then, although it feels like he is in love with his GF that rush of affection and lust in the early days isn't love. Love is something that develops over time, a long time. It's nice that he wants to give her something to show his affection but at this very early stage in their relationship a ring is somewhat inappropriate as rings carry some significance in romantic relationships, especially rings that are family heirlooms. A nice pair of earrings would be a better choice.

That would be passive aggressive and I do try to resist that but in this situation it would be very difficult.

Absolutely not, under ANY circumstances.

The absolute cheeky of him.

You will never see it again

What a loser he is.

No.

No, never give it back to him.

A firm NO ... and ask your Dad why he is such a cheap skate to not want to buy his new girlfriend a ring.

Also ask whether he has a gambling or drug addiction problem. Why can't he afford a few hundred for a ring?

He could look at buying a 2nd hand ring if 'old' and 'worn' is the style he wants.

No! Have it altered and start wearing it again. He should be ashamed of himself.

Don't give it back. Just no. If absolutely necessary - "No, of course you can't have my ring; it was Grandma's and it's part of me now. Do you need help picking out something nice for Gretchen?" (If he's asked you e.g., by email or left a message and you haven't responded yet, I'd be inclined to treat it as a bad joke because he cannot really be serious.)

Is he even engaged to his girlfriend? If he were I could maybe, possibly see his logic even though it's rude as fuck and completely insensitive to you, but if not he's a complete idiot. Is it possible he actually wants it back to sell?

It was a gift to you, it belongs to YOU. That ring dies not belong to him, and inform him tge ring will be remaining in YOUR family.

Never in a million years - obviously I don’t know what your grandma was like but mine would definitely haunt me forever if I even considered it!

I can’t imagine his new gf would even want it tbh - it means nothing to her. Keep your lovely grans ring - treasure it (and possibly hide it until it fits again!)

NO. Non. And make it clear how utterly shocking it is he even asked. What a tool/fool delete as applicable.

Definately not!!!

Keep it.

whatever would your Granma say!

An onion ring. Brilliant! Thanks for the laugh.

Obviously keep it, OP. I can't believe he even asked.

No!

What a cheek! He gave it to you so it's now yours, don't give it back. I am sure your grandmother would much rather you had it, so stick to your guns.

It's your ring and your father has zero rights to ask for it back.

Tell him, "This is my memory and treasured heirloom from grandmother,so no, I will not give it back. You gave it to me as a gift and it stays with me."

Absolutely not! Apart from the fact it's now yours, most grown women would understand how such a piece should stay with original owner's family, and not really want it for herself.

Absolutely not. He is being very selfish and thoughtless asking for it back. Not only because it’s yours now but also because of his proposal to give it to someone who is not a blood relation. He’s proposing to gift it out of the family. He’s known this person six months. If the relationship goes tits up in another six months he can’t ask for the ring back from his gf, she can disappear with it because legally it would be hers.

Hopefully he accepts your refusal nicely but if he gets funny about it to be honest I’d have no problem falling out with him about it. Sounds like he’s prioritising his new gf over family anyway.

OP really sorry your dad is like this. Please dont feel remotely pressured by him. His behaviour is so inappropriate that you are just going to have to protect yourself emotionally going forward. He is no way acting like a decent father. Like everyone else I hope you can just say no. Explain how much it means to have this reminder of your grandmother and suggest that since he already wants to give his gf a ring, they choose one together. I feel he is being really immature and unthinking towards you. And worse as you're a new mother. This is horrible fo r you so look after yourself and your own family.

Yes!!
I be saying this to my dad too - “I’m sure she won’t accept it if she knows it was my grandma’s and I now have it”. Because it’s then crap of the two of them if they think this is acceptable behaviour.

Absolutely not. The ring is yours.

He is also being disrespectful towards the memory of your grand mother by thinking he can give this family ring to a woman he barely knows.

Frankly his request is appalling.

Thank you and thanks to you all for your messages, much appreciated.

I think my hormones are all over the place atm too which probably doesn’t help the situation. Just feel upset and insulted that he would ask and potentially give it to someone he’s only known for 6 months when it’s so special to me.

Has your dad been insensitive like this before OP? Have you responded yet?

if he wasn’t your dad I would tell you to tell him to piss off.

because he is your dad - I would just say you lost it or just say no.
DO NOT GIVE IT.

you can’t ask for gifts back. That’s stupid, as is your dad. Sorry the cheek of it has made me quite angry! 😂

No

What did you say when he asked you?

No