Father wants my heirloom ring back to gift to his new GF

[MRB21]

Don’t know why I’m posting this really but I feel at a loss of what to do. My grandmother died 10 years ago and approximately 4 years ago my dad gave me my grandmothers wedding ring as a gift. I have worn it everyday ever since until my hands were swollen due to pregnancy and it still doesn’t fit comfortably yet but it would be going back on. My father asked me for it back because he wants to give it to his new GF who he has been dating for 6 months (she never met my grandmother). Firstly the ring holds massive sentimental value to me and is the only thing I have of my grandmothers. Secondly should I be giving this back for him to regift to a woman who I / he barely knows? I feel upset that he would take it back to regift it when it’s so cherished by me. What are people’s thoughts please? Am I being overdramatic about it? Should I just give it back to him?

Most certainly not! I’d tell him in front of his new gf that as he gave you this ring in memory of your grandmother, you will not be giving it back to him to give to someone who has absolutely no link to her. Bastard!

No, how could he think this would be ok?

He gave it to you, so he no longer has it. And giving it to someone he's known 6 months? Hold on to it and hold your ground.

Outrageous not to mention cheap. If the GF means so much tell him to put his hand in his pocket because that ring is staying where it belongs. Jeez, I've heard it all now.

Agree with everyone who says No. I am angry on your behalf that he should even ask this. Sensitivity not his strong point? I imagine his new gf would not be happy to know he has asked you to part with the ring. Maybe he has no idea how precious it is to you. Some men can be very daft. Tell him it is too precious for you to part with, maybe a few tears...then offer to go to an antique jewellers shop with him so he can buy one to give to gf. He.may go off the whole idea......

If I was his GF in this situation I would think it mean that he was gifting a relatives ring which didn't even belong to him.

Absolutely. If his girlfriend has any decency how could she possibly feel happy about accepting such a "gift"? And how does your father expect this to facilitate a good relationship between you and the girlfriend should she become a permanent fixture? The ring may have been his mother's but that is not relevant - it could be God's ring but he gave it to you so it is yours.

I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Why are families so savage?

I won’t be giving it back to him even though I said we could discuss it further. Like everyone’s said it’s not his to further gift on especially to a random woman who he is apparently in love with after 6 months of dating.

Or, if you are brave enough, and if its something you would like, take it to a small independent jewellers and have the gold made into something else entirely eg a pendant or earrings, that you would love to wear and remember your Grandma with. Its yours now. Why would you gift your property to this woman?

What an awful father, ftfoff …

Absolutely not! You've had it for years!

I don't know if this has been mentioned already, but I'd make sure to keep it hidden so he can't find it and take it anyway. He sounds like a selfish prick.

Absolutely say no and that it holds very special sentimental value from your beloved grandma and it's a lovely reminder of her. If he pushes after that, then he's a real piece of work.

Yeah I'd be saying no to his request. It's been given to you so it's yours, end of story, no need to justify it. On top of that, it has sentimental value to you that it wouldn't have to the new GF. I think it's quite cheeky of him to ask tbh.

I have no words! I'm so sorry! Tell him his mother would be ashamed of him. You can't ever ask for a gift back, and these circumstances aren't even a "I understand but you can't" situation either! Make sure it's a sorry no and explain to him!

Please tell us what his response was to your very nice message to him. I’m hoping to hear some contrition. He is absolutely in the wrong.

Never never never. It’s not hers it’s your grandmothers. The exchange is done and he can’t expect to ask for it back
and after 6 months?!!!! Disgusting
I would also feel really gross wearing another woman’s ring who has died. He can buy her her own if he wants to marry her so much surely

No fool like an old fool …

I know it’s been said 100 times or more but DO NOT give up that ring. 🙏🏼

Not a chance in hell would I be giving it back.

Well quite. Thats why I asked how (edit) old he is and why he is now on his own, because its something I can quite imaging my father doing if he was widowed after my mothers death. He would be so lonely and would almost certainly "fall in love" with a woman who gave him any attention in that situation.

Tell him not a chance in hell. It's yours.

That sounds like a good plan ! I have very bad luck with rings it seems. My grans ring disappeared along with my mums diamond engagement ring when my mum was ill with cancer just before she died. So my mum may have intended for me to eventually let me have it but it didnt work out that way. Many of my other grans rings also disappeared when she was very elderly.

So glad you are keeping yours x

70 not widowed

This is awful OP, your Dad can't take the ring back, it'll mean way more to you than it would ever to his GF...he needs to have a fresh start and get her a new one. Morally appalling him asking this of you. Not reasonable.