Father wants my heirloom ring back to gift to his new GF

[MRB21]

Don’t know why I’m posting this really but I feel at a loss of what to do. My grandmother died 10 years ago and approximately 4 years ago my dad gave me my grandmothers wedding ring as a gift. I have worn it everyday ever since until my hands were swollen due to pregnancy and it still doesn’t fit comfortably yet but it would be going back on. My father asked me for it back because he wants to give it to his new GF who he has been dating for 6 months (she never met my grandmother). Firstly the ring holds massive sentimental value to me and is the only thing I have of my grandmothers. Secondly should I be giving this back for him to regift to a woman who I / he barely knows? I feel upset that he would take it back to regift it when it’s so cherished by me. What are people’s thoughts please? Am I being overdramatic about it? Should I just give it back to him?

Ask him what sentimental heirloom of hers, formally belonging to people you've never met but where important to her, he's going to ask her to give you. Ask him how he thinks she'd react to that and he might realize his request is outrageous.

Oh that's a good idea! Might ram the message home when he inevitably pushes back on your "no".

Maybe he saw you weren't wearing it and thought you no longer wanted it? Time to put him right. No way should you hand it over.

Tell him to get stuffed. Can’t believe he would ask you that.

No. It belongs to you. He’s had his head turned and isn’t thinking of your feelings.

Just say no.
Your dad gave it to you as a precious reminder of your DGM.
It's not like you've kept it in a box for the last 10 years because you didn't like it.
Even if you had done your dad has a lot of nerve wanting it back to give it to someone he's known for 6 months who has no connection to your family.
Tell your dad to put his hand in his pocket and get his GF a ring that she chooses herself.
Enjoy wearing your very special ring for many years to come OP.

I agree
just say no end of!

@MRB21 he can’t ask for presents to be given back? And I bet if his girlfriend knew he’d asked you to return it she’d be mortified. If not, I’d disown the pair of them!

No Dad. Absolutely no way. It’s mine now. You gave it to me and it holds huge sentimental value. Jane never met Gran. It will mean nothing to her.

No. Is a complete sentence.

If necessarily I might even said I had lost it!

No. It's a gift, the moment he gave it to you was the last time he had any say in the ring.

And doubly no because he wants to give it to a near stranger.

‘Sorry dad, you gave it to me as a gift and I’ve worn it every day since as it’s the only thing I have of grandma. Taking back gifts isn’t ok and you’ve really upset me by asking. I won’t be returning it to you.’

Alternatively, have a cheap copy made and give him that.

If I had been seeing someone for just 6 months and he gave me a family heirloom wedding ring I'd be freaked out.

I am pretty sure your grandmother would definitely prefer you to have it. And even more so as you are expecting her great-grandchild.

No, Non, Nein,
Get it engraved on the inside with your Grandma's initials or yours. And hide it really well, especially if he ever baby sits.

He has all the empathy and emotional intelligence of an out of date bottle of milk. It's incredible that he would even ask.
If this is an example of his usual behaviour, you need to be prepared to stand up to him.

Sorry OP, that must be upsetting x

Well he'd ask for it back, obviously!

Presumably he wants the ring for sentimental reasons, but that's exactly why you've been cherishing and wearing it all this time and he should be ashamed for even asking.

It’s not his ring anymore, it’s yours, and don’t leave it anywhere where he can take it.

I was going to say exactly this - if you're not wearing it keep it in a really safe place

Tell your dad women don’t usually want things like this from a new partner. It means something to you as your grandma meant something to you (otherwise you might not want it either).

Tell him to go out and buy a piece of jewellery specifically for her - she’d appreciate that more (and quietly laugh to yourself as you think of onion rings).

Don't part with the ring OP, your dad is wayyyyyyy out of order.

It is cruel of him to expect you to part with the ring due to the sentimental value and it seems like your dad has failed to realise that.

Hard NO from me, it’s a family heirloom and your link to your Grandmother

I'd definitely keep it. The trick is figuring out some way to phrase is in a way that won't offend him.
One ploy would be to do nothing until you see him in person, wait until he mentions it, and then burst into tears, sobbing about how much you miss your grandmother.

@MRB21 You’re absolutely not being overdramatic. Your dad gave you that ring as a gift, that means it’s yours. End of.

You’ve worn it, cherished it, and it’s the only thing you have of your grandmother. The sentimental value is huge, and he knows that.

Asking for it back so he can regift it to a woman he’s known for six months (who never even met your grandmother) is completely unreasonable. It’s not a “family heirloom” he’s carefully passing down, it’s something he’s already given to you, and now wants to take back because it’s convenient for him. Also, he gave it to you as his daughter and so what is he implying, that you have been moved down in his rankings. Yeah, pretty insensitive.

Also its a wedding ring not an engagement ring. Is he wanting to marry her because wanting to give her a sentimental engagement ring, I sort of get, although not if he has already gifted it elsewhere. But a wedding ring???

You don’t take back a gift. You don’t re‑gift a dead woman’s wedding ring to a new girlfriend. And you certainly don’t expect your daughter to hand over the only thing she has of her grandmother so you can impress someone you barely know.

Tell him kindly but firmly that the ring is yours, it means a great deal to you, as you thought he acknowledged when he gave it to you and you won’t be giving it back. That’s not selfish, that’s normal. His request is what’s out of line.

Tell him to take her shopping for a ring, we all know she would love to chose her own. Maybe he is tight fisted or just plain skint and if she is any type of decent woman she would be mortified if she knew what he was asking,

He deserves to feel offended. Or better, to see the error of his ways.

No its your heirloom. Given as a gift. End of.