Did you leave or scale back a demanding career after children?

[Cheeseonacrumpet]

Did any of you Mumsnetters have a “Big Job” prior to having children, then either quit or scale back or change direction entirely after becoming a parent?

I have a career I’ve worked hard for. It’s not flexible and doesn’t combine well with young children. I currently resent it and am growing to hate it. I want to reduce my hours as much as possible just to keep my hand in whilst the children are young, but I don’t want to look back and regret this. I don’t want to regret not doing it either. Husband is supportive of whatever I decide to do - is also wary that I may regret either decision, I think.

Looking to hear the wisdom of parents of older children please.

@Crumpetringwe have actually recently got a nanny, and moved the children into school hours part time nursery for socialising as for us that feels a better fit. Time for downtime, classes, play dates, park with their friends on the way home etc. I’m 4.5 days a week (my company doesn’t accept part time really so I fought for this). My partner is in a new job but hopefully will be able to drop to 4.5 days also, so they have two full afternoons a week with us.
afternoons with parents. Plus they’re around on our WFH days so we can spend lunch with them. It’s working for us better so far

Now mine are teens this is the bit I didn’t consider I think.
the being employable after the gap and the hit to my pension / their financial future.

that all said it would never have worked me going back to my big job

I really feel for the parents coming through it pre Covid. Hybrid has made a massive difference in being able to keep careers going and be there for the children. For what it’s worth, it wouldn’t have worked for me either with a five day week in the office model, having to stay until everything is done, and no option to work after bedtimes. We weren’t even allowed to log on at home until Covid forced them to put in place secure systems.

I think pre this flexibility, something had to give, and it’s impossible

Especially when you’ve two in those sort of roles. It just doesn’t work unless you’ve family support or earn enough to pay for it.

Parenting is for a lifetime hopefully, no one regrets spending time with their kids, although plenty regret not focusing on their careers, and struggling financially due to it. Working doesn’t mean we don’t spend time with our children, it’s a very odd antiquated view to think women need to give up work. Yet sonehow will declare fathers good fathers who work.

it isn’t just about the early years or school years, it’s about also being financially stable, providing a good role model, being able to afford certain privalges for your children that come from not relying on one wage or benefits.

few people get to 60 and say wish id given up work and stayed home. Plenty get to 60 and say wish id not given up work and stayed home as I’ve no real financial security.

No, unfortunately.

Agree with this. I think this is the problem for us! Plus, it’s relatively easy to come up with all sorts of theoretical childcare solutions, but reality might not play along with the plans. It’s clear that one of my children benefits a lot from having more parental presence and less wraparound care/holiday club. This makes it hard to think clearly about the long game, though I am trying to. Appreciate all of the perspectives on this thread.

I am 60 and still working in a job I love ( freelance now) and we are mortgage free. DH is able to go fishing, play cricket, do whatever he wants. DDs are in their 20s, one just graduated with a 1st, one working in a good job they love with great prospects..