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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Bath time for blended families

59 replies

GainGirls · 03/06/2026 22:52

Blended familes and bath time -

I have a 9 year old girl and my partner has a 4 year old boy. They often have baths together, she wears a bikini and he is naked. They play very happily and as parents we have no concerns. A family member has stated that they think this is wrong. I would love your opinions on this as I really don't have a problem myself.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

JuneJoys · 04/06/2026 15:43

Decacaffeinatednow · 04/06/2026 13:28

@JuneJoys
And they hid the thread after I reported it.

It's confusing. It just depends who handles the report.

JuneJoys · 04/06/2026 15:45

GainGirls · 04/06/2026 09:04

@Blondeshavemorefun Interesting, I like to give choice and if both children want to, I can't see a risk/issue. We are all different 😊

@Decacaffeinatednow if my 9 year old daughter feels comfortable with him being in the bathroom too then yes, otherwise I'm in there.
Both children are given the choice on a shared bath - they ask to bath together.
Both children are given full options on privacy grounds.

@JuneJoys interesting, thank you. I don't insist on swimwear, it's her choice, particularly if she thinks my partner may come into the bathroom which I totally respect.

Yeah totally if she wants to!

there's nothing wrong with what you're doing at all.

Original poster

GainGirls · 04/06/2026 15:45

Decacaffeinatednow · 04/06/2026 10:24

I'd love to know the 4 year old boy's mother thinks of this arrangement. Though maybe she has no boundaries either and thinks it's fine.
And indeed the 9 year old girl's father.

Edited

Sadly the 4 year old's mother died when he was 8 months old.
Presuming about other's boundaries.....interesting.

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Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds 9 year olds Families General parenting

caringcarer · 04/06/2026 15:56

GainGirls · 04/06/2026 15:38

To date he only comes in when his son asks for him specifically and my daughter has said she is comfortable with him entering, otherwise she would be free to leave the bathroom.
They are not left alone without me being in there.

Show quote history

It would make more sense for your partner to bake his own DS and your DD be given privatacy to bath alone. She's growing up and can't bath properly wearing a bikini. You still have not said at what age your partner won't walk in when she is in bath.

Hayley1256 · 04/06/2026 16:11

I would put a stop to this. I can't imagine my DD10 would have wanted to share a bath at that age with anyone. I've been encouraging her to bathe alone since since she was around 8 and also get her use to having showers. I only go in now if she asks for me or if I'm worried she's using my expensive products!

Original poster

GainGirls · 04/06/2026 16:54

Decacaffeinatednow · 03/06/2026 23:06

Is your partner in the bathroom when shared bathing is going on?

No, as I have said previously he would only come in if his son asked for him to come in and my daughter had been given the opportunity to get out of the bath before he entered the room.

OP posts:

Decacaffeinatednow · 04/06/2026 17:29

So if your ex is on the scene and has contact with his daughter does he know about the shared bathing ? And that your boyfriend is in the bathroom sometimes?

never2return · 04/06/2026 18:23

are you using the 9yo to supervise the 4yo in the bath then?

BabyFever64722 · 04/06/2026 20:51

Not ok. She's way too old.

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