Bath time for blended families

[GainGirls]

Blended familes and bath time -

I have a 9 year old girl and my partner has a 4 year old boy. They often have baths together, she wears a bikini and he is naked. They play very happily and as parents we have no concerns. A family member has stated that they think this is wrong. I would love your opinions on this as I really don't have a problem myself.

So she gets in the bath to play with her much younger step brother wearing swim wear but acutally washes in private. No problem.

Of course they shouldn’t be sharing a bath, shocked you think it’s fine.

@Mumsntfan1
So you don't see a problem with her mother's boyfriend being in the bathroom with the children?

I'd love to know the 4 year old boy's mother thinks of this arrangement. Though maybe she has no boundaries either and thinks it's fine.
And indeed the 9 year old girl's father.

The child is wearing swim wear and her mother is present. If the child was naked or alone then of course it wouldn't be ok.

her mother is present.
Her boyfriend is present also alone - the op says if he is not there then she goes in.

@Mumsntfan1
And why is it ok for the boyfriend's 4 year old son not to be wearing swimming togs - he is not entitled to basic dignity?

You didn't answer my question at what age would you deem it inappropriate for your DD not to have privacy in bathroom from your bf?

He's a four year old having a bath. He can't wash in swim wear or have a bath alone without an adult in the room.

Why can't he do what the 9 year old does - cover up while he is sharing the bath with her and then be washed separately afterwards.
If the sexes were reversed here some of the replies would be very different.

Not sure I’d be comfortable with this, we are a blended family and when our children were little bath times were very much private

So your daughter sees this as like a paddling pool?

when does she have a chance to wash her body? and have privacy from her step dad?, if she doesn’t then yes it’s a problem

If the sexes were reversed the situation would be different. 4yo boy, 9yo girl and stepmother isn't the same a 4yo girl, 9yo boy and stepfather.

I’m trying to hold back but honestly I think it’s wrong. She should have privacy from her stepdad and her own bath time.

@Mumsntfan1
I am referring to the children only - so a 4 year old girl and 9 year old boy.

If your nine-year-old feels she has to wear a bikini to have a bath, then that's a very obvious sign that she actually needs proper privacy to bathe on her own.

How is your 9 year old actually washing properly if she has a bikini on? And if she does it after her step-brother has left the bathroom, that seems like such a waste of time, effort, and water. She clearly seems to have it on, in case your partner comes in. Why does he though?
At this point, the kids shud have their own bath time. And if they want to play, that could be separate like pool time, where both kids can be in swimwear.

she feels the need to put a swimsuit on, so its time for this to stop. they can both play in the water in a different setting where they both wear swim gear

I can tell you now, if I was in a relationship for only two years, I would not be having step siblings bathe together, nor would the partner be welcome to go into the bathroom while my 9 year old daughter is bathing.
These children have not grown up together and the partner has not raised the girl as his own.
Boundaries keep everyone safe and ensure everyone feels comfortable.

Children are competent to bathe themselves older than about seven.
Your DD should be afforded privacy.

If both playing in a paddling pool in bathers, that is different.

I’d be uncomfortable with non related males in the bath/bathroom with my DD. It’s an unnecessary risk and communicates to her that boundaries are fluid.

Fine to have them both in swimwear to play in the bath - communicated as play time and with adult support and supervision but actual bathing and personal care should be private and with their own parent if support is needed.

Stop going on about choice as if you're Tony Blair or something. You're the parent, they're kids, you're supposed to make more informed choices. if they started imaginatively playing doctors and nurses, that wouldn't be okay, right? Take some responsibility and let them bath separately to get clean. They can play the whole rest of the day. Two years is no time either for blending families. It's good that your family are keeping an eye as you seem overly chill. Mums with a with a young DD and newish partners need to be less dewy-eyed about things.

I presume they think by announcing you reported it, it's the same as troll hunting??

@JuneJoys
And they hid the thread after I reported it.

To date he only comes in when his son asks for him specifically and my daughter has said she is comfortable with him entering, otherwise she would be free to leave the bathroom.
They are not left alone without me being in there.