Was my daughter unreasonable putting up birthday decorations at her dad's house?

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Just after some advice and who is being unreasonable…

I have 2 daughters aged 18 and 14 with my ex husband-we were together 15 years and split 6 years ago.
Their dad kept the family home which we built 10 years ago and I moved out with the children.
3 years ago their dad moved his girlfriend into the home (now fiancée)-all fine and no problem
Neither of them sleep at their dads anymore but last week my 18 year old stayed at her dads to look after his dog while him and fiancée were away for two nights celebrating his birthday.
My 18 year old bought 3 ‘happy birthday’ banners, a ‘happy birthday’ balloon and a small cake. Thought she was doing a lovely thing now she’s got a job and spending her own money.
Her dads fiancée has hit the roof, texting her and myself saying that this was disrespectful by not letting her know that she was arranging something for her dad, telling my daughter that she was upset by not being kept in the loop because she lives there too.
Ive also received a load of messages off her-telling me that my daughter has disrespected her and has criticised my daughter for arranging something in the home where she now lives.
There was nothing arranged-she put up a few banners and a balloon for him to come home to.
All the dad has said to my daughter regarding his fiancées reaction is ‘you know what she’s like when she don’t know what’s going on’
I must add that there’s no bad feeling between myself and their dad-everything’s absolutely fine on that front.
I have a 4 year old with a new partner and we’re all very happy in our lives.
Is this a normal reaction for a woman to act when her finances daughter has put up a few decorations in what is her family home??
Granted, she doesn’t sleep there anymore, but both my daughters still have their own bedrooms at the house with some of their belongings.

Not normal. I can see why your ex is an ex. Poor girl, I hope you can tell her she did a lovely thing.

She sounds like she’s got some issues.

The girlfriend sounds like a nightmare. Is she jealous of your DDs relationship with her dad?

The fiancée sounds like a psycho - your poor DD

What did you say when she was messaging you? I'd have given her a very sharp response.

Please tell your DD to NOT apologise...goodness me what an overreaction from the step-mom 😮

Thank you, yes I did tell her It was lovely. I just can’t imagine reacting like that. I thought my daughter was joking when she began reading the message she had off her!

Definitely! Such an odd reaction!

I hadn’t really thought of it before but I’d say she definitely do after her reaction to this.
Im so glad my daughters are older and she doesn’t have any influence on their upbringing.

She didn’t thank god.
I can’t believe there are step-parents like this!

I thought it was a lovely thing to do! I don’t see the issue from the fiancées side

Is the girlfriend quite a bit younger than your ex-DH, OP? I ask because that's an astonishingly juvenile reaction to a daughter doing a perfectly lovely thing for her dad.

It's also disappointing that her dad wasn't more supportive to his daughter, but he's putting his bedpal first now, isn't he?

Your DD did a lovely thing. Fiancée is a control freak. Tell her to block her number. Next year organise a brass band in the garden.

She's not your child's "step parent". There's no 'parenting' going on here!

I did! But she constantly kept going back to telling me how it was about ‘basic communication and consideration’…because she lives in the house too.
I had to block her in the end as she wasn’t trying double and triple messaging me!
We were going round in circles and she wasn’t understanding that my daughter did something lovely and it wasn’t my daughters fault she felt oddly upset by it.

Sounds like she's incredibly insecure. They can find someone else to look after the dog in future.

Your poor daughter
I hope her dad put that nasty little madam in her place

That’s such a lovely thing to do, my DD is younger but does this kind of thing for her dad and I. It’s an admirable quality to celebrate the people you love. The woman is batshit crazy.

Wow. gf has issues

dad needs to grow some balls and tell gf that his dd did a lovely thing and he appreciates what she did

Thats not normal. I would reassure your dd. And probably say something along the lines of its ashame for her (step mum) that she is going through life that worked up and bitter. Not your problem not your dd's problem. You cant reason with the unreasonable so think you were right to block and not let her get the drama she wanted. Its just not fair because the problem is dd may feel on egg shells going forwards....hopefully she isnt but what a woman to have to deal with.

Wow what an overreaction on her part! Jeez!

If it was me I'd have said how thoughtful it was. Maybe next time if she wanted to work together on it Id be more then happy to contribute and work as a team. Obviously your daughter doesnt feel she can turn to her for that sort of thing. To me sounds like the partner is butt hurt 🫣😂 out done by an 18 year old. Her ego took a massive hit. Very embarrassing for a fully grown woman to act that way.

Wow, what a horrible person. That would’ve the last time I’d look after their dog! And DD dad sounds like a wet fish. No wonder they don’t want to stay there. And him down playing it is showing where his priorities lie.
I wouldn’t unblock her, there’s no need for her to communicate with you anyway. And I’d tell DD to block her too. She can just speak to her dad.

Not normal. Dd needs to say no next time they ask her to have the dog.

She's fucking mental!

it's a few banners, she didn't have the house repainted! & I presume she didn't cause any damage to paint etc ?

as you & ex get on, can you talk to him tomorrow when the daft bat isn't around? & explain the massive over reaction & the billion texts?

thank god your girls are older & don't have to stay there.

i hope your DD tells the mad bitch she'll have to find herself another dog sitter!

My own DC came over and decorated the house for DH’s birthday last year and he wasn’t even living here at the time, so the house only had me in it, although we were seeing each other. I didn’t mind one jot! It’s a perfectly normal thing to do for a parent.

It is a normal thing to feel happiness for your partner when their child shows them love, I have a stepdd and if she shows love towards her father I get a knot in my stomach, it’s so lovely. Anyone who doesn’t isn’t very nice.