Is it OK to keep a bedtime bottle at age four?

[DearDog96]

In a recent post about my MIL’s comment towards DD it was highlighted that I needed to get her out of nappies, off the dummy and going to bed without her bottle. The dummy I took away straight away and we’ve been doing well since, and nappies we’re going to try this weekend. With a baby on the way in a few months time I’m inclined to leave the bottle for now as it’s only once a day and it’s her comfort before bed, plus I feel like I’ve rocked the boat enough already! What’s everyone’s thoughts? Did any of your kids keep the night bottle at 4+?

Too much milk can cause anemia in children too, but if it’s a mug of milk at night and then teeth brushed I see no issue. Both mine stopped milk at 2 and wore nappies only for night by 3, my 5yr old is still in nighttime nappies. Is there a reason your 4yr old is still being treated like a younger child? (I really don’t mean that nastily OP, some children do act younger than others or is it a finding it challenging to change routines issue or any additional needs?) my additional needs child wasn’t 100% toilet trained till they started preschool and got motivated by seeing other children use the toilet and getting in the routine of it. He just didn’t care enough before then.

What does she do the rest of the day?

I don't mean this in a mean way OP, but do you think you could benefit from some parenting classes? You obviously love and care for her very much, but it doesn't seem like you are fully aware of the developmental stages a child should go through, and what you need to do as a parent throughout these stages to help her.

I have to agree, it is very bizarre.

I can’t fathom how you have succeeded in bypassing these vital milestones OP. It can’t be pleasant for DD to be wearing a nappy surely? Not to mention changing them? At least you have realised DD needs to be toilet trained pronto, along with ditching the bottle and dummy.

Best of luck 🤞

My three had a bottle at 4. Probably stopped around the age of 5. I couldn’t care less what the advice was. All teenagers now, teeth are perfect, no problems at all. World didn’t end.

Sugar free has fake sweetener that stimulates the appetite for all things sweet. If it's basically water, why not just give her water? It's better for her.

Has the dentist seen your child's teeth and is he or she aware of the nighttime bottle? I can't imagine any dentist telling you to crack on and all was fine and dandy with that.

Squash isn’t sugar free - it’s no added sugar - big difference for teeth

Sugar free squash is so much worse as it’s full of chemicals that mess up your bodies ability to process sugar! It also messes with your gut microbiome! Stuff with sugar isn’t as bad as artificial sweeteners - personally I think keep it natural and allow all things in moderation, limit to one glass of squash/juice a day.

The damage a bottle does isn’t just about the sugars in milk, it is to do with the sucking motion that affects the shape of a child's mouth/jaw. A cup of milk is a healthy enough night routine - eliminate bottles and no milk after teeth are brushed. Nursery has been great for my 4 year old. Huge advantages in terms of learning and socialisation.

No

There is a vast difference between parents responding to their child's likely SEN needs and struggling to implement certain changes, and parents who just...didn't bother trying because it didn't occur to them that a 4 year old shouldn't be using nappies and drinking from a bottle! OP has said nothing about potential ND and hasn't actually tried to potty train before age 4.

You can buy a silicone thumb guard. Last thing you need is to go from one terrible habit to another :-)

I also read your other thread. Well done on starting the journey.

I would cut the night bottle right now, today and say milk with dinner is the last bit of milk. Water out of a cup if thirsty before bed.

That will help with night time nappies when you get to that point. I’d kick off with day time training now too.

The nappies has to be priority.
One of mine was waking up dry at 2 and half before I trained him, nappies were gone day and night within 3 weeks.
The other was similar, trained in day, and night was very soon after, weeks.

I actually don't know if its worth putting her into nursery at this stage, for one term. Getting used to one set of rules and expectations just for it all to change again in September.
It might be easier just to make one change.

Op i know your Mil is the person who's commented, what about your own mum has she not also commented on you babying DD?

DD was fairly easy to potty train and the dummy was gone at a young age too. However, the bottle was a huge battle for years, we never quite mastered it until she was four when we moved 200 miles and I said the bottles were lost in the move and we couldnt buy anymore. There was a bit of tantruming at bed times but she soon got over it. A fairly extreme solution though!

DD2 decided no more nappies and was dry night and day. She was 18 months so it’s not necessarily only day/night. Might be better to just do the whole lot -less confusing.

I too think that it might be worth putting her in Nursery for a few hours a week, it doesn’t have to be fulltime.

I think it will help to prepare her for the start of school and it sounds as though mixing with other 4 year olds might help you with things like potty training.

Eldest had a bedtime bottle until 3. Perfect straight teeth and always complimented by the dentist. Meanwhile my youngest has crooked teeth and not had one since 1 .

As long as you brush her teeth after, it will be fine. A dummy is much worse imo. The teeth will come into contact with the milk whether she drinks it from a supply cup or a bottle, hence why brushing teeth after is essential.

https://www.dunelm.com/product/family-toilet-seat-1000075939

Get a family loo seat and a step, and breezily announce now she is a big girl it is time to use the loo. Take her to the loo very often and be prepared for lots of washing.

If she has never left either parent then I can't see her settling very well at a nursery which she will only be in for four months. I do wonder why OP didn't know about free hours at three and why she hasn't been put into nursery unless it was intentional?

I’m surprised if you’re going to the dentist every 6 months that they haven’t mentioned this. Our dentist has posters about the problems with bottles all over the walls and squash is terrible sugar free or not! Brushing teeth straight after milk/squash is really damaging to teeth too.

at 4 you can have a conversation she’ll understand about being older and making some changes. Choosing a new cup and some new pants might be a fun way to start that.

abd yes put her in nursery. Poor child will start school behind her peers.

She starts school in four months. No point!

No I know but then she’s probably going to struggle starting school. Going from being with family to being in school fulltime is possibly going to be a hard transition.

OP have you worked on the things that will help her transition to School and the skills that they will expect her to have?

Doea she sit at the table with you for most meals and does she use a knife and fork? Can she dress herself and put her shoes and coat on? Can she also wipe her own bum?

I hope you take this as constructive but I’m a reception teacher and the nappies, dummies and bottles would concern me that you baby her and she’s going to find reception a shock. I could be completely wrong. It’s just a real pattern now that parents aren’t seeing their 4 year olds for as capable as they are and it has a massive effect on how well a child copes with a challenging task or needing to do things independently.

I would focus on the nappies ASAP. My DS is starting school in September too, he will turn 4 in June and he has been out of nappies day and night for over a year. If someone is home with her all the time then you should be able to crack it pretty quickly.

Unless there is a preschool attached to the school you are going in Sept I wouldn’t bother settling her in somewhere for just a few months but enjoy these last few months with her. My DS goes into the reception class once a week with his friends of the same age in preschool so if there is a preschool attached to the school then I would go for it.

You can get alternative drinks cups which are similar but not a bottle so not bad for their teeth. Something like this: https://www.asda.com/groceries/product/5208719?cmpid=ppc--pmax_google----google---_-dskwid-_dm&s_kwcid=AL!11432!3!!!!x!!&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23489630389&gbraid=0AAAAADuzMyhOVpx9H-7TCPog-cbU5jAko&gclid=CjwKCAjwtIfPBhAzEiwAv9RTJrBLxiJw_pdcGlpoDIw8Hxmn9JWYualLb-uXPyL6knY9Y__fKxmmJBoCGmcQAvD_BwE

Bottles and dummies affect children's teeth (they grow in a sort of circle) and it affects their speech sounds. It also affects teeth hygiene as well as they must be brushed afterwards.

Sorry, forgot to ask if she’s also having Swimming lessons? They might help to improve her physical activity levels as well as giving her a valuable life skill.

There is definitely a point, put her in the school pre-school so she can start making friends and getting the know the building, people and routines. Preschools job is to get them ready for school, starting school cold turkey is going to be a shock for this child.

honestly OP what were you thinking?