Is it OK to keep a bedtime bottle at age four?

[DearDog96]

In a recent post about my MIL’s comment towards DD it was highlighted that I needed to get her out of nappies, off the dummy and going to bed without her bottle. The dummy I took away straight away and we’ve been doing well since, and nappies we’re going to try this weekend. With a baby on the way in a few months time I’m inclined to leave the bottle for now as it’s only once a day and it’s her comfort before bed, plus I feel like I’ve rocked the boat enough already! What’s everyone’s thoughts? Did any of your kids keep the night bottle at 4+?

She eats pretty well and normally drinks squash or water from an open cup

It’s a 250 ml bottle and she has whole milk.

thanks for the recommendation, will have a look!

and yes we often go to the park, she has a scooter that she takes and will sometimes spend up to an hour playing there so I think she gets enough exercise

I’m not too worried about that! We haven’t even got her out of daytime nappies yet so I think night time is some way off!

4 year olds need at least 3 hours of exercise a day OP.

They should be on semi skimmed by 2yo.

You sound really blasé about your child being quite far behind normal milestones.

Yeah staggering it would have been so much easier on her. But you didn't. And now its 2 years too late on everything.

You realise its so much harder to potty train her because you left it so late. * *you've made it so much harder for her not just becuase habbit, but her brain has learned to ignore the signals that she needs a wee.

The bottle is absolutely appalling. Sometimes having two bottles before bed. She probably needs to eat better too.
She needs to exercise more, sometimes doing up to an hour is just not ok for her age.

Its like you've not realised for the past 3 years that she's still been growing.

Entirely pointless putting her in nursery for 3 months, I feel like you're just trying to get someone else to do the hard work for you.

This has to be a wind up?

No, it's not ok to have a NT 4 yo in nappies or having a bottle for comfort at bedtime.

Replace the milk with watered down milk, gradually easing to all water over the course of a week.

Your child's teeth are at risk of decay because of the sugars in milk.

For the next baby, switch to a cup at age 1 and do not offer anything but water at bedtime.

You need to bite the bullet.

Buy or borrow the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Azrin and Foxx. Read it and start on the method - follow it to the letter.

Your child will be dry day and night in a month as long as you have the gumption to work on it.

Squash is not a good idea for anyone.

Has your child ever been to a dentist?

Yes to this.

My son showed zero signs of readiness for potty training until I stopped breastfeeding him at 2 years 10 months. He started showing all the signs within a day or two of stopping asking for it and was completely dry from that moment, never had an accident. So I would stop the bottle too and try to leave the trappings of babyhood behind.

They don't have to be on semi skimmed. That's personal choice. There's much recent evidence that whole milk is better for anyone, any age. The crucial thing is a balanced diet.

Whole milk for children for many is a given, they never switch to semi skimmed. OP you decide what's best milk wise!

My DS had bedtime bottles until 5, but (its a very big but) he's autistic and at the time didn't eat much due to sensory issues around the texture of food, and was a little underweight. I discussed it with his pediatrician and they agreed that getting the calories in was the least bad option. Then overnight he went off milk and has only had water to drink since, luckily we had gained a few more safe foods by then.

Potty training took well over a year, we started at 2.5 and although he was well into wearing pants by 4, he was still having semi regular accidents (at some point most weeks).

He's 9 now, manages personal hygiene fine and there's been no harm to his teeth.

My DS who is 4 in a few months still has a bottle before bed. He flat out refuses to drink milk from anything other than a bottle and will have a meltdown if I try. He's on the pathway for assessment for autism but even if he wasn't I'd still give it to him because he wants his milk and that's the only way he'll take it. The judgmental people on here don't understand that you're not going to take away your child's comfort just because you don't want to be judged. And yes mine is also still in nappies too. For those saying crack daytime nappies and then nighttime, that isn't how it works. They will never be dry at night through any kind of training. It's a hormonal thing so until their body produces that hormone there is nothing you can do

It’s just so different parenting a ND DC isn’t it? I think that as the OP hasn’t mentioned any concerns about ND is either if her threads, most relies are giving advice as though the OP’s DD is NT

It’s sugar free so is basically water at that point. And yes she goes with me every 6 months

Why? No point now getting her settled somewhere and then starting school. I also imagine that if she has never been in childcare she won't settle quickly. You may as well leave nursery now.

Potty training has to be the main focus. That’s the biggest issue. You just have to stick to it and not give in and she’ll get it within a couple of weeks.

For the bottle, I’d switch to a cup or water bottle, reduce the amount of milk and make sure you brush her teeth after.

Four isn't late if additional needs. That is quite normal.

I think some comments are pretty harsh. Some kids pick this stuff up easier than others and sometimes things just don’t go to plan.

I would take the win over the dummy’s and start with nappies next. The approach here (with a boy though) was to basically have him at home naked from the waist down for a week and a potty in every room, quietly dealing with mess but huge, OTT praise for anything that was in a potty or toilet (or if he’d tried to get there but missed).
It’s hard work and be prepared for it to take a while. My LO is adopted and arrived as a 3yo with nappies, no attempt made at potty training and drinking every drink out of a bottle.
Due to the size of adjustments he had to make we didn’t attempt potty training until he was 3 and a half and it took a few months for wee’s to be fully under control and poo is still completely hit and miss almost a year later. I think if you start late they have to unlearn the sensation then relearn what it feels like to wee etc in a toilet.

Also, to move from bottles we bought some cute plastic cups that were just for him. They were presented as his big boy cups, one had a straw, 2 didn’t and one was a proper mini mug. We gave him the choice out of all of them plus bottle for a bit but lots and lots of comments about ‘wow, look at you using your big boy cup. Isn’t he big now Nanny’ to anyone that was visiting. He was so proud he didn’t notice when we just stopped offering a bottle (except at night.)
For nighttime we did the same a couple of weeks later- just asked if he wanted his bedtime drink in the cup with a straw or the one without. Lots of praise for using it/pointing out it was similar to mine/being ‘disappointed’ that we couldn’t use it because it’s his etc.

Good luck OP

Why? My kids drink blue milk. Skinny as anything. I drink it.

Thank you so much! Will be sure to try some of your tactics on DD

A child shouldn't be on bottles past one as it will damage their teeth. If she's sleepy at evening drink time and might spill milk use a older child's lidded cup.

I don’t think you need to stagger things . Stopping the bottle might help with the ‘you are not a baby now’ message and help with the toilet training .
Mine stopped bottles at 12 months