Is it OK to keep a bedtime bottle at age four?

[DearDog96]

In a recent post about my MIL’s comment towards DD it was highlighted that I needed to get her out of nappies, off the dummy and going to bed without her bottle. The dummy I took away straight away and we’ve been doing well since, and nappies we’re going to try this weekend. With a baby on the way in a few months time I’m inclined to leave the bottle for now as it’s only once a day and it’s her comfort before bed, plus I feel like I’ve rocked the boat enough already! What’s everyone’s thoughts? Did any of your kids keep the night bottle at 4+?

Yeah she doesn’t wipe her own but at the moment but will work on it soon!

no it’s day and night nappies

The dentist has said her teeth are fine. We didn’t tell them about the bottle and dummy though, they didn’t ask.

Yes we’ve started this weekend! It hasn’t gone great and I’ve been cleaning up many accidents. 2 weeks in the potty all weekend and that’s it! Progress though at least

Would she not be better on just the toilet at her age? Definitely keep up with it now and she will get there.

I would suggest going straight to toilet as otherwise you will then need to add that stage in to the process as well, so she can cope with school toilet

Maybe but at least with the potty it’s near to where she’s playing and she can sit on it while watching tv at other times

It's just adding another transition when time isn't on your side.

Respectfully, you are obviously a very kind and caring mum who puts her child's feelings front and centre. But you might need to need to harden up a bit and not feel bad about expecting reasonable, age appropriate behaviour from your DD. A nearly school aged child can take a break from TV watching to go to the toilet, just like they (presumably, at least I hope!) take one now for a nappy change.

Also, long sits on the toilet/potty are not healthy. We should all be getting on and off as soon as possible.

Get her nappy trained before she starts nursery. Then worry about the milk. Potty training is hard but you don’t just give up and put them back in nappies!

No potty. She's 4, there's no need to treat her like a toddler who needs a potty around as they can't understand when they need to go.

Has she got any books about potty training @DearDog96? Your local library should have some, if it’s still open. I used to give mine a book about potty training to look at. It doesn’t matter if they can’t read, they just used to like looking at the pictures and it gets them used to going without relying on the tv.

I'd say no to potty as well.
Shes a big girl she needs to grow up fast. Toilet, wipe own bum and wash hands in one step.
She's going to have to be doing this independently in months. Which I'm 100% sure is achievable.

You've left it so late your going to have to skip steps.
Btw no child likes change people are creatures of habit.

Why'd I make that comment? It was a response to

I'm curious to know why it didn't occur to the OP at any point that these milestones are usually dealt with at an earlier age.

My initial thought was fuck knows if it was me and my child my Mum would be calling me a lazy bitch.

I'd maybe put her in skirts they are make it easier for her to learn pulling her pants down.

It’s nice weather at the moment and if you are at home anyway I would just let her run around with nothing on the bottom or just pants. Remove any barriers as pulling them down in time can be tricky. Both of mine hated the potty and went straight to the seat on the toilet. Give a reward every time they go on the toilet at first and then space it out as they used to it.

Op does she see you using the toilet?
Don't be scared to leave the bathroom door open. Let her see how its done.

The later you leave it to remove dummies and bottles the harder it is to remove them. That's one of the other reasons they recommed up to one before they become attatched.

The bottle issue is such an easy one to fix. You let her choose a cup or mug that she loves and as a 'special treat' she can drink her bedtime milk from it while you read her a story. Then toothbrush and bed.

Get rid of the potty, she’s not a baby. She should be able to sit on the toilet with a book and look at the pictures etc.

I remember still having a bottle of milk at 7 years old! It didn't do me or my teeth or anything any harm. Of course most of the time I drank from normal cups but the bottle was very comforting for me.

Although you’ve changed a few things I would very gently change her bottle for a cup of milk and then brush teeth before bed. You could still make it a cosy thing to do with story time and cuddles but just kindly explain she is growing up and now a cup is the best way for her to have milk. Milk is a healthy drink for young children.

Regarding the potty training, I would recommend the Oh Crap potty training approach where you just take off nappies and all bottom half clothing until she’s cracked it. At four it might be a bit messy but probably only for one or two days. Reward stickers etc might work for you. Ideal she’s home with you and just make plans to stay in for a few days when you start. Warm weather now so perfect time. Once you start, don’t turn back even if it sucks (at first).

Gently, please do this before she starts nursery or school. Other children age four will really notice she is in nappies and it may affect her relationships and confidence. I know sometimes it can’t be helped and then it is what it is. But if she doesn’t have any additional needs then she can and must learn and your role is to support this milestone.

But she doesn’t understand when she needs to go as otherwise she wouldn’t be in nappies still!

That’s a great idea thank you! Will go and have a look later in the week once I can hopefully leave the house with her!

If you really think she doesn't know then get professional advice from your HV.

You need to train her. Children need to learn to pay attention to their bodies.