Child tells us absolutely nothing about school

[marathonmumm]

Our son aged 5.5 in Year 1 tells us nothing about school, and I mean zero. He just refuses. We have tried all the tricks and followed all the advice of no pressure, not asking, telling him about our days, making jokes and games out of it, and finally leaving it complete and joking diverting will vibe out when he’s colouring or something. But still nothing.

We don’t know anything he gets up to, anything he enjoys or dislikes, what he’s eaten or who he’s played with.

After school (after school club) he’s knackered so we don’t push it, but even when rested at weekends he says nothing about it.

I have spoken to the teacher at parents evening who had no major concerns, said he was very polite and independent, and occasionally struggles to concentrate during phonics, but otherwise the school report was good.

there has been an issue of a boy bullying other children and my DS was hit once but it was resolved we think and (unfortunately for them) another boy was the primary target and my son was just in the way. The school were good. Overall my son is confident with other children and stands up for himself.

I obviously end up worrying about the concentration issue or the bullying issue and wondering if it’s all a million times worse than I thought, but he never opens up.

I’m gutted and feeling very sad about the loss of connection with him. We are open with him and have always told him he can share anything, and we don’t shout or shame him about mistakes or anything- we are patient and loving and he knows he is loved. So I’m so sad he’s just refusing to open up to us at all.

Does anyone have any experience of this?

I have one ds that tells all and one that says very little and it has always worried me a bit. My take on it now ds is 18 is that I have left space for him to come to me when things are hard and he has done so, he is also very resilient in a way his brother is not so actually is good at dealing with things himself. We are in fact very close, i admire his independence and accept that he will tell me things just in his own time and his own way. Make all emotions ok, chat about your day, use the car as honestly they tell you so much more on a journey.

OP is it possible that he's finding this long day exhausting and is upset with you for making him do this? Just a thought...

It will pass when he's about 25!

Seriously, it's completely normal not to hear anything about school from your child at this age. You do sounds a little anxious about it, he's in Year 1 and so I think you are expecting too much communication. Really this is nothing to worry about at all, school would contact you if they had any concerns.