Who should share a room

[Anotherboymum]

Looking to find out on who you think should share a room. My partner has 2 children from a previous relationship boy 12 and girl 11 who both stay with us once a fortnight. We have a boy 3 together and a baby due in march (gender is currently unknown). Baby will sleep with us for the first 6 months then be moving into a bedroom.

My question is who should share bedrooms in this situation, do we let the 3 year old and baby share bearing in mind the other 2 bedrooms will be empty most of the time, or do we get the 12 and 3 year old to share bearing in mind that the 12 year old will only be staying once a fortnight and can have the room during the day (all 3 year old toys are downstairs) and once we've put the 3 year old to bed he can use our room until bedtime.

I'm in 2 minds about it as it's seems silly to have 2 bedrooms empty half the time while the 2 children who are there full time share, but I also think the 3 year old and baby are a better age to share a bedroom. What are your thoughts?

I would probably put the 3 year old and baby (when they’re old enough) in a room together and then the older children have a room each.

The boys share and any girls share.

you can’t expect a pre-pubescent teenage girl to share a room with a 3 year old. Nor can you expect her to share with a 12 year old.

These questions come up time and time again. What was your plan when you got pregnant again? I think the only solution here is the youngest two share. Yes the rooms will be empty a lot but there isn’t really another solution when the older ones are mixed sex and the age ranges are so wide apart.

Your DC get the largest 2 rooms. The baby’s room also has a single bed and when the SC stay one takes that room and baby shares with your 3YO in a travel cot and once that’s outgrown get a trundle bed.

Agreed. It's pretty sad that the teens only spend a day a firtnjghy at the house as it is but to get rid of their bedrooms is a sure fire way to show you're not actually that fussed about them being part of your family.

Just seen there’s three bedrooms.

youngest two share. No question about it. Anything else would tell the two teens you don’t see them as mattering.

I’d probably go with the little ones sharing for now (ie from 6 months onwards). But I’d maybe adjust the older kids rooms to allow for eg a small sofa for reading stories on at bedtime, and some more picture books etc. I’d try to find a way to use the rooms for extra space while keeping them as the older kids rooms for now.

Then I’d rethink and readjust depending on how much of a nightmare it was getting both little ones to sleep in the same room without waking each other. If it became really hard I’d probably try to double up on one of the teens rooms to include a cot or something. Room usage is so fluid when kids are little - you might need to keep rethinking it.

Two boys share. Older girl gets other room to share with baby if it’s a girl. If it’s a boy, in with the boys. Make third room another living room.

The. 2 older kid share. Section off the room for privacy.

This is ridiculous. A pubescent girl can’t share with a baby.

They have privacy already in their own rooms you can't just shove them into the same room even if you section it off and expect them to be ok with it just because dad had another baby.

Oh no, another situation of more kids than rooms in a ‘blended family’

got to shove those pesky step kids in somewhere …..

Toddler and baby in biggest room.
Assess again when youngest is at school.

Give each of the 3 children their own rooms. Then when the time comes either move the baby in with the 3 year old or if that doesn’t work in to which ever of the older children’s room depending on sex. When the older children come then for that night or two move the little one back into your bedroom for the night if needs be.

The youngest need to share regardless of sex. The older children should not be in the same room. It’s also not appropriate to ask the older children to share with such young children. If anyone has to bunk in with young children that might wake in the night or need to be tip-toed around, it should be the parents.

Could the older two have their own rooms but the baby sleeps in one of them when they’re not there? A cot or cot bed is not too difficult to move once a fortnight.

The 2 older children need their own room. Give the 2 youngest the largest bedroom so there’s still space for them to play and keep all their stuff.

The older two have their own rooms. The younger two share.

The 12 and 11 year old already share a room at there mum's house, personal I don't agree with this that's why they have there own rooms at ours. Both have also offered to share a room with the 3 year old or baby which is lovely but we also want to do what's best for them that why we wanted opinions on it

Secondary school children need their own space in a way the preschoolers/infant school children don't. Plus the step children have more to deal with in living across two families and not living full time with both parents. So younger two need to share the biggest room. By the time the youngest two need their own rooms, the step children will be adults.

The older ones have a room each and the younger share, but in 6-8 years when the older ones become adults then the younger set of children get a room each to themselves and their old shared room becomes the guest room for visiting students (if both return at the same time for the entire uni holidays then you might need an interim solution for three years too, or to put the switch off until after uni).

They share a room at their mum's house? That sounds very problematic and to be honest even more reason why you should have separate rooms for them at your house as it's quite likely one of both of them will make the decision to live with their dad in the not too distant future.

I would have the two younger one share.

Why do they only stay one night a fortnight? I'd be looking to change that first and making them a better part of your family. Baby and 3 year old can share for a bit if baby is a good sleeper. Then you might have to move, extend or split a room somehow. Presumably they share at their mum's because she can't afford a bigger place? But you and DH have deliberately had two children knowing the situation, so I assume you have the ability to increase bedrooms.

Has the Mum got a new partner and more children as well?