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Original poster

Lady yelled at my son, I feel like the worst mom in the world

446 replies

YourBoldCoralDog · 07/10/2025 20:47

Hi everyone.

As background, my dad has been in the hospital for a month. He’s improving but slowly, and I go every day since my mom isn’t up to being able to follow what the doctors are saying. On Friday he was having a hard day, and my son (5) came with me because he was off school. My husband’s job has also been doing layoffs recently and there was going to be another round that day.

We left the hospital at 1pm - both of us were hungry and my son was restless. We went to a place right by the hospital since the hospital cafeteria area was very busy. Soon after we sat down, my husband called with the news he’s not being laid off but his hours are being cut and was trying to explain it to me. As I was talking to him, but son was up from his chair and playing around the table. By the time I got off the phone, he was running around.

I know this was a total mom fail, and I should’ve intercepted him sooner. But by the time I got up to do so, he’d tripped and knocked a woman’s pasta into her lap. She was probably 25ish, alone and having a glass of wine with lunch while she was reading. My son started crying immediately, and she exploded at him - her immediate reaction to it was to say “what the fuck”. When he started to cry she told him to get away from her and to go sit down like he should have been in the first place; he just stood there frozen and she said he was a brat who was acting like an animal. I rushed over and said I was so sorry but I didn’t appreciate her cussing at and insulting my son, and she said she didn’t appreciate having her lunch dumped in her lap because I’m “too lazy to watch my kid”, and she said something like she wouldn’t have had to say a word to him if I was doing my job.

I was starting to quietly cry too and the manager came up and said she was having our food packed and ushered me away. The staff was quite cold to me as I was paying for my takeaway, and I could see they were apologizing to the lady. I keep having flashbacks to this and feel ashamed at how my son acted, but also about how he saw I didn’t stand up for him in the moment as someone insulted him. Just having a rough time and feeling like a bad mom.

OP posts:
Wildefish · 08/10/2025 19:03

YourBoldCoralDog · 07/10/2025 20:47

Hi everyone.

As background, my dad has been in the hospital for a month. He’s improving but slowly, and I go every day since my mom isn’t up to being able to follow what the doctors are saying. On Friday he was having a hard day, and my son (5) came with me because he was off school. My husband’s job has also been doing layoffs recently and there was going to be another round that day.

We left the hospital at 1pm - both of us were hungry and my son was restless. We went to a place right by the hospital since the hospital cafeteria area was very busy. Soon after we sat down, my husband called with the news he’s not being laid off but his hours are being cut and was trying to explain it to me. As I was talking to him, but son was up from his chair and playing around the table. By the time I got off the phone, he was running around.

I know this was a total mom fail, and I should’ve intercepted him sooner. But by the time I got up to do so, he’d tripped and knocked a woman’s pasta into her lap. She was probably 25ish, alone and having a glass of wine with lunch while she was reading. My son started crying immediately, and she exploded at him - her immediate reaction to it was to say “what the fuck”. When he started to cry she told him to get away from her and to go sit down like he should have been in the first place; he just stood there frozen and she said he was a brat who was acting like an animal. I rushed over and said I was so sorry but I didn’t appreciate her cussing at and insulting my son, and she said she didn’t appreciate having her lunch dumped in her lap because I’m “too lazy to watch my kid”, and she said something like she wouldn’t have had to say a word to him if I was doing my job.

I was starting to quietly cry too and the manager came up and said she was having our food packed and ushered me away. The staff was quite cold to me as I was paying for my takeaway, and I could see they were apologizing to the lady. I keep having flashbacks to this and feel ashamed at how my son acted, but also about how he saw I didn’t stand up for him in the moment as someone insulted him. Just having a rough time and feeling like a bad mom.

So you’re going to get roasted here. My advice ignore the mean ones who obviously have never had a bad day and their kids are all perfect. You’ve been under a lot of stress and you took your eye off the ball. Put it down to experience and it probably won’t happen again. Have a chat with your son about why he shouldn’t run around as it could have been hot tea or coffee.

Buffs · 08/10/2025 19:27

Livpool · 07/10/2025 21:16

You don’t know what is going on in her life though do you?

What happened to her was really shit - lots of people would have exploded - your son doesn’t need defending in this instance. It doesn’t mean you are a bad mum - it does mean your child was left to his own devices and acted in a way that resulted in the woman having her meal knocked into her lap. I don’t think you can expect the workers to be placating you.

This. Im afraid this is your fault. Instead of defending your son’s actions you should be offering to pay for her food and dry cleaning.

LovingLimePeer · 08/10/2025 19:35

Why would you stand up for your son/defend his actions?

He behaved inappropriately and there were consequences. He won't do this again and hopefully this will imprint on his memory as a way to not behave. By all means have a debrief afterwards but he has done something very wrong.

I would have offered to pay any dry cleaning bill/replace her food/pay for any damage to her book. Regardless of whether what happened was an accident, you are the adult and hold ultimate responsibility to make things right. You should have asked your son to apologise for what happened.

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Families General parenting
Confusdworriedmum · 08/10/2025 19:40

blinkblinkblinkblink · 08/10/2025 09:47

Kids in Europe never run around in restaurants because normal culture teaches them how to behave in restaurants.

If a child did get up and start running around, other customers would step in and tell the child to sit down or go back to the parents (without the risk of British parents screaming at them for daring to intervene with their precious brat). The parents would thank the stranger for stepping in.

It's not perfect parenting boasting. It's a pretty basic expectation.

Show quote history

I don't know. I have seen kids in France and Spain running around. I don't think it's that uncommon. When I was in France with my DDs who were 3 and 1 at the time I actually had a lady come up to me and compliment me on how well behaved my children were.
Either French children aren't perfect or she knew I was English and was amazed that my children were behaving.

ToysRus56 · 08/10/2025 20:05

I'm so shocked at these responses. Naughty behavior, 100%, but he's a child! He tripped - sounds like he was really shocked and upset by this and burst into tears - wouldn't you comfort and reassure them it's okay, not 'explode', swear and tell the child to get away?! Maybe if the child had just laughed or just cracked on I would have been more angry, but crying and clearly shocked?! I just couldn't react like that regardless of what had happened. That seems so unnecessarily cold. Poor love. I would be a bit annoyed at the parent perhaps, yes, but OP clearly visibly upset and bloody hell, it happens, and it you apologised etc. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time OP. I'm sure you're a brilliant mum xxx

Ciderapplevinegar · 08/10/2025 20:13

ToysRus56 · 08/10/2025 20:05

I'm so shocked at these responses. Naughty behavior, 100%, but he's a child! He tripped - sounds like he was really shocked and upset by this and burst into tears - wouldn't you comfort and reassure them it's okay, not 'explode', swear and tell the child to get away?! Maybe if the child had just laughed or just cracked on I would have been more angry, but crying and clearly shocked?! I just couldn't react like that regardless of what had happened. That seems so unnecessarily cold. Poor love. I would be a bit annoyed at the parent perhaps, yes, but OP clearly visibly upset and bloody hell, it happens, and it you apologised etc. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time OP. I'm sure you're a brilliant mum xxx

Poor love 😂

No, it doesn't just happen, it happens when a parent is so inattentive that they let their child run totally amock in a restaurant because they are having a phone call rather than parenting their child.

Balloonhearts · 08/10/2025 20:25

ToysRus56 · 08/10/2025 20:05

I'm so shocked at these responses. Naughty behavior, 100%, but he's a child! He tripped - sounds like he was really shocked and upset by this and burst into tears - wouldn't you comfort and reassure them it's okay, not 'explode', swear and tell the child to get away?! Maybe if the child had just laughed or just cracked on I would have been more angry, but crying and clearly shocked?! I just couldn't react like that regardless of what had happened. That seems so unnecessarily cold. Poor love. I would be a bit annoyed at the parent perhaps, yes, but OP clearly visibly upset and bloody hell, it happens, and it you apologised etc. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time OP. I'm sure you're a brilliant mum xxx

Er, no! He's old enough to bloody know better! He wouldn't have tripped if he wasn't running around misbehaving in the first place. Absolutely I'd have yelled at him and told him to get back to his own table, sit the fuck down and stay there.

I also disagree that op is a brilliant parent. How do you get a 5 year old who thinks this behaviour is acceptable? Through 5 years of shit parenting.

Petitchat · 08/10/2025 21:11

Balloonhearts · 08/10/2025 20:25

Er, no! He's old enough to bloody know better! He wouldn't have tripped if he wasn't running around misbehaving in the first place. Absolutely I'd have yelled at him and told him to get back to his own table, sit the fuck down and stay there.

I also disagree that op is a brilliant parent. How do you get a 5 year old who thinks this behaviour is acceptable? Through 5 years of shit parenting.

Edited
Show quote history

Lovely......

Petitchat · 08/10/2025 21:18

@YourBoldCoralDog

Seriously, don't spend another second being upset or worrying.

You were having a really bad day, shit happens. You've learnt that you have to keep your eye on the ball no matter what, DS has learnt not to run around in cafes and to be careful and hopefully pasta lady will get over it.

It's not the end of the world, move on ⚘

Petitchat · 08/10/2025 21:21

@YourBoldCoralDog

PS
And you are NOT the worst mum in the world 😊

Viviennemary · 08/10/2025 21:26

Your sons behaviour was utterly appalling. You let him run wild and spoil somebodys meal and outfit and cause uproarand embarrassment to all preset. And yet you havea lengthy list of excuses to shift the blame and ease your conscience

Viviennemary · 08/10/2025 21:28

Your sons behaviour was utterly appalling. You let him run wild and spoil somebodys meal and outfit and cause uproarand embarrassment to all preset. And yet you havea lengthy list of excuses to shift the blame and ease your conscience

LouiseK93 · 08/10/2025 21:39

YourBoldCoralDog · 07/10/2025 20:47

Hi everyone.

As background, my dad has been in the hospital for a month. He’s improving but slowly, and I go every day since my mom isn’t up to being able to follow what the doctors are saying. On Friday he was having a hard day, and my son (5) came with me because he was off school. My husband’s job has also been doing layoffs recently and there was going to be another round that day.

We left the hospital at 1pm - both of us were hungry and my son was restless. We went to a place right by the hospital since the hospital cafeteria area was very busy. Soon after we sat down, my husband called with the news he’s not being laid off but his hours are being cut and was trying to explain it to me. As I was talking to him, but son was up from his chair and playing around the table. By the time I got off the phone, he was running around.

I know this was a total mom fail, and I should’ve intercepted him sooner. But by the time I got up to do so, he’d tripped and knocked a woman’s pasta into her lap. She was probably 25ish, alone and having a glass of wine with lunch while she was reading. My son started crying immediately, and she exploded at him - her immediate reaction to it was to say “what the fuck”. When he started to cry she told him to get away from her and to go sit down like he should have been in the first place; he just stood there frozen and she said he was a brat who was acting like an animal. I rushed over and said I was so sorry but I didn’t appreciate her cussing at and insulting my son, and she said she didn’t appreciate having her lunch dumped in her lap because I’m “too lazy to watch my kid”, and she said something like she wouldn’t have had to say a word to him if I was doing my job.

I was starting to quietly cry too and the manager came up and said she was having our food packed and ushered me away. The staff was quite cold to me as I was paying for my takeaway, and I could see they were apologizing to the lady. I keep having flashbacks to this and feel ashamed at how my son acted, but also about how he saw I didn’t stand up for him in the moment as someone insulted him. Just having a rough time and feeling like a bad mom.

I think brush yourself off, tomorrow is another day. You are going through alot. Your not bad, your attention span lapsed momentarily. You sound pretty reasonable I think you will learn from it. No one is perfect.
(Side note would have been a good idea to offer to pay for her meal and dry cleaning)

JustSawJohnny · 08/10/2025 21:43

Sorry OP but this is on you, not DS or the angry woman.

You can't take phone calls and let a child run around a restaurant. Ever.

You have 2 hands so could have held your mobile and grabbed DS. You could've trapped your phone between your ear and shoulder. You could've told DH you'd call him back.

Your Dad being ill and whatever your DH was saying on the phone is irrelevant to what happened.

Your child - your job.

Be grateful DS didn't hurt himself when he fell and remember the embarrassment so it never happens again.

MorningCoffeeInBed · 08/10/2025 21:49

Confusdworriedmum · 08/10/2025 19:40

I don't know. I have seen kids in France and Spain running around. I don't think it's that uncommon. When I was in France with my DDs who were 3 and 1 at the time I actually had a lady come up to me and compliment me on how well behaved my children were.
Either French children aren't perfect or she knew I was English and was amazed that my children were behaving.

Show quote history

haha, I've had people come up and compliment me on how well behaved my children are. I say, "Thank you," while inwardly sometimes thinking, "You should have seen them ten minutes ago."

Lovehascomeandgone · 08/10/2025 22:56

To be honest OP, this is on you. The call with DH could have waited until you were back in the car or at home. I would be pissed too if someone’s kid threw pasta in my lap. And I say that as a parent of two challenged kids.

padronpepper · 08/10/2025 22:58

Is nobody wondering where the op is ?
One post, 16 pages of replies…

BoeufBourguig · 08/10/2025 23:13

Those data centres don't run themselves, @padronpepper

Thistlewoman · 08/10/2025 23:26

Wildefish · 08/10/2025 18:58

Think she’s feeling bad enough

Show quote history

So she should! The woman who was eating her meal isn't responsible for OPs difficulties or her child's behaviour!!

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 08/10/2025 23:39

padronpepper · 08/10/2025 22:58

Is nobody wondering where the op is ?
One post, 16 pages of replies…

Busy with her kid?

T1Dmama · 09/10/2025 02:29

FanofLeaves · 07/10/2025 20:54

Oof.

I mean chalk it up but yeah, no way should you have zoned out onto a phone call long enough for anything like that to happen. And at 5, he should be able to behave a lot better than that and absolutely know not to run amock. It’s not brilliant that he doesn’t to be honest. Apart from the disruption for other diners, It’s really dangerous to run around where trays with hot food and drinks and glasses are being used and carried.

I wouldn’t have had a go at the kid but I’m afraid I almost certainly would have at you because it’s absolutely not something that should have been allowed to happen.

I’m sorry though as you obviously feel bad about it and have a lot going on.

Edited

this is a great response.

Personally I would use this as a learning experience… I would talk to child about it
and say he must never run around in a restaurant ever again…
If the staff were being frosty and rushing you out I’d have left without paying or collecting food…. I’d have gone else where.

Having worked in retail though, I have to say staffs worst nightmare is kids running a mock… and parents not parenting… as staff or other customers you don’t sit and think ‘oh she might be having a bad day etc’… you just want to serve customers safely & customers just want peace.
Your son likely needed to run off steam after being bored in hospital and probably having to sit still in there… I think I’d have taken a packed lunch for him and gone straight from the hospital for some sort of picnic and run around in a park or other safe child friendly space.
BUT it’s too late now for could have, should haves… so learn for another time, and don’t loose any sleep over it.
we all have lapses in judgement sometimes.
No point crying over spilt pasta… I mean milk 😂😂

Coconutter24 · 09/10/2025 06:50

JoeSikoraTommysStory · 07/10/2025 23:42

Have people lost their fucking minds?
No adult should be swearing or shouting at a 5yr old!

She sounds like a horrible cunt Op you should have put her in her place!

Swearing at a child and around a child are two very different things.
The only person that didn’t need putting in their place in this situation was the innocent lady sat minding her own business trying to eat her meal

Snakebite61 · 09/10/2025 07:07

HewasH2O · 07/10/2025 20:50

Did you pay for her wasted meal & offer to get her clothes cleaned?

Edited

Why should she with that reaction?

OodlesTheTalkingPoodle · 09/10/2025 07:13

LaMarschallin · 08/10/2025 16:17

What?

Quite.
Or being expected to be more concerned about the crying child (parents' job) than your ruined clothes.
Or just letting out one surprised cry (preferably without swearing) on having a plate of food dumped in your lap, then immediately going into calm "Well, that's kids for you; perhaps they're at an awkward age" mode.
Or reflecting - while tomato sauce and pasta drip down your legs - that this isn't a great trauma like death or loosing a job so it shouldn't upset you...

I've also also noticed how there are a lot of replies saying that the other lady might be having a hard time too, like she has to have huge life problems to deserve sympathy for having her outfit, lunch and day ruined in a completely avoidable situation.

Jack80 · 09/10/2025 07:57

I would have said I will call you back then your attention was on your son