MIL obsessed with nappy free time

[MangoLatte87]

My MIL is obsessed with having DC (9.5 months) “nappy free”. I just don’t get it. We don't have any issues with nappy rash etc., she just believe children want to be nappy free and that DC “asks” for it. I find it unnecessary and pointlessly messy. Originally I didn’t have an issue with it, but her insistence on it has started to make me uncomfortable. Do other people habitually have small babies be nappy free? Am I missing something?

Nappy free babies potty train faster, that’s why people used to do it.

I used to give mine nappy free time before they were mobile.

Agree too that DMIL might be thinking of the time all babies were in Terry nappies and nappy rash was indeed rife.

my mum did it with me (40 so was a baby mid 80s) as I remember a picture of me sitting on a towel and happily climbing a slide in the garden with my naked bum lol. I'm still incontinent now due to other issues, so I give myself 'knicker free' time with an incontinence pad on the sofa.

Yes, I did it with both DC, as much as I could. Both were holding their wee/poo until the nappy went back on by the time they were about 14m. Very easily potty trained at 18m

It has come up as we are visiting them (they live abroad). She had DC while I had a lie in the other day and when I came into the living room he was nappy free. We haven’t communicated about it yet, as I wanted to see whether it was a cultural thing or if I was missing some point.

She’s not insisting in words, rather persisting in behaviour; it’s a consistent thing she does. She has spent very little time with DC (we live in different countries) and I am visiting her at present. She had him the other day while I slept after a rough night, and when I got up he was nappy free. I’ve been thinking about it since - why it made me uncomfortable etc., and wanted to check whether others did so habitually.

edited for clarity: I should have said persistent rather than insistent originally!

What do you think is her motive op?
What are you suggesting?

What do you think is her motive op?
What are you suggesting?

Her motive is likely just getting her own way...

We did it all the time with ours
being in a nappy all the time would be awful

If it makes you uncomfortable then just tell her no. With two sons I didn't have the courage to let them be nappy free until it was time to pottytrain. Just couldn't stand having pee or poo all over the house..

But I did love bathing them. It was something so natural with having them naked which made me think of when they were born. No sexual connotations at all, just back to nature. But I would never have insisted on bathing anyone else's kids nor would I insist on it as a granny. I have already decided that I will ask my future dils about what would help them the most and not insisting on doing one thing or the other. If you want happy grandkids make sure the mum is well taken cared of.

🤣

There are studies of children taking af they learn to walk. Nappy free children have better balance and find it easier to walk. We don't do it much though because of the mess

I think you’re uncomfortable OP because she is not respecting your boundaries with this.

I think she genuinely believes it’s a good thing for the baby?

Not at all. She’ll absolutely listen if I tell her I’m uncomfortable with it. I just find it odd and wondered if it was me (different culture/ upbringing etc.)

DH and I also love bathing DC, and will take him in the bath with us. I think I just didn’t expect that anyone who is not his parent would have him naked (aside from an essential nappy change) or would intentionally invite themselves along when he’s about to be naked (baths, looming over him when I change him etc.)

In fairness, it’s a boundary I didn’t know I had! I just didn’t expect the situation, but now that it’s arisen I realise I’m uncomfortable with it.

My 3 DC all loved it-the younger 2 had eczema so it was so helpful for their skin.

They def all loved being naked in the garden (very secluded) paddling pool etc well into toddlerhood

When they were babies it was def "a thing" late 90's early 2000's everyone in my ante natal group did it etc

Does it help to know it's a compeltley normal thing that's considered good for the baby? As you've seen from so many posts here? Does that help it feel okay?

If you still feel funny about it it's fine to say to her you've got a funny hang up about it - and then just say it's personal preference?

But it sounds like if you know it's actually quite a normal thing in many circles that might help?

Yep 2010s too!!

I'm 69 too, and good disposables were way more expensive relative to income, than they are now. I had friends who still used terry nappies.

Gel nappies were only just coming in (Pampers was the only brand that made them) when my first was born, and were really expensive. We were constantly checking different supermarkets to try to get them at the best possible price, but they still took up most of our general shopping bill. The cheaper non-gel ones got soaked very quickly and caused nappy rash, hence going nappy free for a little while was pleasant for the baby, and good for their skin.

My daughter can buy nappies as good or better as the pampers of the late '80s, from Aldi, for what seems like next to nothing in comparison.

Never did it with any of mine, no nappy rash.

They can be nappy free forever when they're toilet trained.

She's his grandma! I've been looking after my grandkids occasionally since they were tiny babies, changing their nappies, bathing them, putting them on the potty, changing their clothes etc.

Seriously, I find it disturbing that you're attributing sexual motives to your MIL just doing grandma things.

You appear to have misconstrued my posts out of defensiveness.