MIL obsessed with nappy free time

[MangoLatte87]

My MIL is obsessed with having DC (9.5 months) “nappy free”. I just don’t get it. We don't have any issues with nappy rash etc., she just believe children want to be nappy free and that DC “asks” for it. I find it unnecessary and pointlessly messy. Originally I didn’t have an issue with it, but her insistence on it has started to make me uncomfortable. Do other people habitually have small babies be nappy free? Am I missing something?

I used to do it - in the garden in the summer, after a bath in front of the fire when it was cold. Not just crawling or running about inside though.

My DS loved having his bum out. Sleepovers with his cousin usually involved two naked small boys running around and laughing like maniacs.

I've never heard of it. DC never had it or 'asked' for it. They also never had nappy rash. I changed them regularly. They potty trained in two days with chocolate button bribes. When DS1 was older he liked to 'get naked' as soon as he came home from primary school and always wanted to 'wee against a tree' instead of in the loo, so he'd run outside naked in wellies aged four. But nappies were long gone by then.

My lovely MIL says 'give him his freedom' 😀 maybe it is generational but both my boys loved it!

It’s new to me; I never came across it growing up (I’m from a different country, but similar climate). I don’t really see any need for it. I feel somewhat uncomfortable with her desire for DC to be naked (I’m not sure why). Were DC choosing this - taking off own clothes etc. and running about outside - I’d be fine with it, but as it stands I feel it’s something that she’s delighting in rather than DC, if that makes sense?

DH isn’t bothered either way, but as we don’t do it at home, I don’t really feel it should be done at MIL’s either.

My D had awful nappy rash, so nappy free time was necessary. I also worked out the time it took for food etc to travel through. I’m not sure if it was related but she was nappy free at a relatively young age. Did the same with S with a similar result. I was incredibly lucky to be at home for 16 months each time.

I wouldn’t even let my DC run around naked in the garden, but there about 3 houses that can see in to it around me. You never know who’s looking. Why don’t you suggest that you can try some knickers if she really wants (in her own house), if you feel she’s emphasising DC to run around completely naked - you can just say you don’t feel comfortable them being fully exposed etc instead of engaging in this generational war of who’s parenting techniques are right

I'm amazed there's another country that's more uptight about nudity than the UK 😂

Mil was the opposite.. Ds's could never be naked. Nappy changes had to be quick..
Or..
Wait for it..

Ds would get sexual feelings.....
She was nuts imo.

With MIL.

Heavens, the MIL can't be older than 60. Probably younger.

I'm 69 and we had fair priced disposable nappies back in the 1980s! Boots ones weren't too expensive.

It was my own mother's generation who had to contend with cloth nappies, so that would be this OP's grandmother or her husband's grandmother.

Forget about your feelings for a minute, do you children seem to mind? Mine absolutely loved a bare arse, always did! If they enjoy it, it’s good for their skin to breathe then what’s the issue?

I think it is a generational thing. When my children were babies most people did not use disposable nappies. The disposable ones were not as good as they are now. Consequently most babies spent quite a lot of time with wet bums. Nappy free time was used to let their bum air. I don’t think it is as important now but some babies seem to like being able to kick their legs without a nappy.

DC is slightly frustrated if anything, as being nappy free means not being mobile. We’re currently in the assisted walking / cruising stage of life! Otherwise I see no difference in demeanour between nappy-on and nappy-off.

haha, touché!

I’m not actually uptight about nudity generally - DH and I go to nudist beaches and I happily use communal changing rooms without rummaging under a towel.

I find having DC nappy-free at this stage impractical and unnecessary. We’re in the assisted walking / cruising phase, so being nappy-free limits that behaviour and I don’t see any actual positives to it. To me it’s just indulging MIL’s whim. But, as I said, I’m not from the UK, so I wondered if I was missing something!

We did it a lot. DC loved it!

We used terry nappies, so they were pretty bulky. But if I'd used disposables I'd still have done it because I hate wearing disposable sanitary products - so plasticky and horrible - so I'd hate to wear a plastic nappy 24/7.

I agree that nappy free time is great.

Think your maths is worng. If MIL has new grandchildren pre potty trained, that’d put her 10-15 years plus or minus the time I was raising my kids.
no one had used reusable nappies for years unless they were very niche, bear in mind global warming wasn’t a thing then. And disposable nappies were no cheaper or expensive than they are now.

MIL obviously did it for her children back 30-40 years ago, and just feels it is a good thing. It seems a mixed lot on this response. Certainly outside in summer in garden nappies were off. But inside no, but then I had 2 DS and boys as we all know small males tend to pee like an uncontrolled hose pipe if penis left unrestrained. 😱🤣🤣🤣🤣. Yep, I’ve had direct shot to face on more than one occasion when I didn’t “hold and cover” quick enough during nappy removal…must be change in temperature 🤷‍♀️

Maybe thats the thing…imhe girls would make less damage nappy free , most would end up on floor whereas boys. Jeez, you’d be washing walls, other kids, dogs and god knows what 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷‍♀️

did Mil of Op just raise girls?

I get where you're coming from OP. My MIL was obsessed with the idea of coming around specifically to do the bath time. The more she pushed the more uncomfortable I felt. It just felt like.... Why? Why do they have to be naked?

My OH insisted some nonsense about purity and being reminded of when they were younger but no other grandparent was obsessed with seeing them naked so I just kept politely declining.

@MangoLatte87 If you’re uncomfortable about this then it’s perfectly reasonable to hold this boundary. You are the parent after all.

I don’t have dc naked around anyone else except me and dh. I don’t even change their nappies in front of other people and I wouldn’t like anyone pushing for them to be naked either. I’d also just find it annoying that she was insisting on something as though I wasn’t already looking after them sufficiently. By all means make a suggestion, but then let it go. I assume she’s doing childcare for you and that’s when she’s going it? I suppose the bigger issue is that you don’t trust her with your dc.
if it’s just when you’re there to I’d ask her to stop going on and ignore it.

My mother-in-law told me about this, so we tried it & on the second time, my 17 month old started a poo at one under the corridor and ended it about 3m away the other end of the corridor and completely ruined the carpet that we couldn’t sort out. So never again.

Also, this is not going to be in the first and the last thing that she goes on and on about. My mother-in-law wanted him potty trained by age 2 & was horrified that we didn’t do it until he was 3. Just smile & ignore.

I agree with you OP, I didn’t know this was a thing unless you’re treating nappy rash and I find the concept really strange tbh. What a load of unnecessary mess! Especially if you have a boy. Who on earth wants poo on the floor and pee up the walls? And unless it’s high summer or you heat the house to sauna temps then they must get cold and obviously babies don’t ‘ask’ for it, yours doesn’t even sound like he even enjoys it. If she keeps pushing it then I’d be a bit creeped out tbh.

Would you like the feel of the nappy on all the time? I think not!
My boys loved nappy free time.
I'm defo in the nappy free time camp

Your discomfort seems like a bit of an over reaction TBH, and oddly judgmental. I don’t think it matters very much either way, if it’s in the privacy of your home and she’s cleaning up?

We’ve only done it when DS has had the odd bad patch of nappy rash, and for a bit after a bath. Doesn’t seem to have harmed in and our carpets are largely free from piss.

Obsessed about seeing them naked😂
Could if be that bath times with a baby are lovely and granny wants to be there.
What nefarious intentions do you think granny has in mind?