Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

[CAMO1984]

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

I agree.

I wouldn’t go on a cruise with young children and a two year old. It’s just not safe. I would be relieved I didn’t have to go.

Can the girls not go with him and you just keep DS? A two year old won't know the difference really so won't be upset about them going and not him.

I don't see why people are dragging the OP's partner and saying he is selfish. It is clear that the logistics simply don't work out. It isn't anyone's fault, it's just one of those things.

Why can’t he go with the children? The older two are teens and the little one is his son!

I agree with this. I don't think my DD have wanted to be away from me that long at 2 either, but she was a very Mummy-oriented little girl and I realise that's very dependent on the individuals. (My DH would absolutely have taken her with him if she had though.)

@Poopeepoopeethe girls had a cabin booked next door to ours, they are 13 and 15 x

I don't think that is safe, sorry to knock you when you've been knocked enough but anything could happen to them and i'm surprised the company allowed it.

@Chewbeccathey had a cabin next to ours with a sliding door, joined onto ours x

I've never been on a cruise but can't imagine it would be much fun for a 2 year old so I kind of see his point there (although I also see yours!)

But the 2 older girls should definitely still be going, they've been uninvited which is just plain rude.

I was agreeing with you that it's fine to do this and saying I have done it. It was the person I was quoting who thinks it would be a problem.

Sorry just editing to say maybe you knew that already sorry! Anyway either way I am sorry the girls can't go, seems a real shame.

The problem with this approach is that if anything horrible we’re to happen she wouldn’t be able to rely on insurance.

I would not entrust a two year old to a father who'd find him a nuisance on a cruise ship. Stay at home. Do nice things with your DC and let your (D?)P get on with celebrating with his father. It's ok. Your FiL is paying. A cruise ship with 3 small children is likely to be miserable anyway.

Sounds like you and the kids were only invited as a "formality" and not as family.

@cosieteawould no way do this, wouldn’t risk the lives of myself and my unborn child. The policy in in place to protect you x x

Your “partner” is an * .Fair enough he doesn’t fancy parenting 3 kids alone on holiday (2 of which aren’t his). But he’s happy enough for you to do so alone at home while 6 months pregnant, while he is off enjoying himself on holiday? What a lovely supportive guy he is. The solution imo would be for FIL to invite another friend instead and for his son to stay at home with HIS family. It’s a shame you all had to miss out but there will be other opportunities to spend time with FIL once baby is here.

Because the holiday is to celebrate his father, it isn't about the OP and the girls. I do think that the father is a bit crap for disinviting the girls, but I can also see why he doesn't want to miss his father's milestone birthday.

Well it’s a shame he didn’t know but this isn’t the cruise line’s fault so if you mean kick up a fuss with them no I absolutely wouldn’t. The only blame is with your partner for not being willing to be a father - you can bet if roles were reversed and he couldn’t travel to your dad’s big cruise because of cruise line policy he would expect you to take the children.

I have been on cruises and needed medical attention and (separately) I’ve also had serious complications post 24 weeks pregnancy and believe you me cruise ships are not equipped to deal with that and getting you to suitable medical care may take quite a long time when you are at sea. Really not one to risk IMO and so I completely get why the policy is in place.

He probably doesn't want to deal with the hassle two teenage girls are going to cause on a cruise without their mother. I sympathise.

Big LOL for people who think it’s ok for a father to not take his son on holiday because it’s too much work! Then leaving him with the little (pregnant) lady at home. My god how disappointing. You should have been left at home kid free IMO - there are childcare options on cruises if it’s that important to them.

I think if someone has been a stepdad to two dc for a decade and doesn't think of them as part of their family, that's a very telling situation about the values of the adult.

Not sure why you’re getting so much stick for this OP.
The fact that step dad has been in their lives so long and your older girls are self sufficient, I think would be perfectly acceptable for him to take them and your shared child away. He can’t look after 3 kids by himself but you can, whilst pregnant?

I think your partner should have pulled out, allowed FIL to enjoy himself and you all book something to celebrate :)

@Kuretake well I can think of one really obvious difference to the medical care a pregnant woman might need….
In general, women who aren’t pregnant have zero risk of going into early labour.

Your partner should take the kids without you, that's what I'd expect my partner to do in this situation. For him to not take your toddler, which now impacts your daughters too - is just selfish. His father is in this bracket too - to take your girls places before you had even confirmed - just because he paid for the holiday doesnt mean you're forever in debt to him. Id feel really miffed by this, mostly for kids. 2 year olds aren't the easiest, but I'd take mine alone so they didn't miss out.

Yes to this - wholeheartedly agree! Also don't know why she's getting stick - they're out of order.

@Crazylittleworldthank you for your support. I was just wondering how other people would react if there were in this situation that’s all and if my feelings were at all valid x x