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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 21/07/2025 14:18

Goldbar · 21/07/2025 13:46

Though presumably as it wasn't an immaculate conception, her partner has to take some of the blame and is equally responsible for disrupting everyone's plans?

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In spite of what we read daily on MN not every act of human copulation leads to pregnancy. There is something called contraception.

BerryTwister · 21/07/2025 14:20

Whose decision was it to uninvite your daughters? Did your FIL just assume if you weren’t coming then they wouldn’t be? Or did your partner tell him they wouldn’t need their spaces any more?

I understand your partner not wanting to be in sole charge of a toddler, because a toddler on a cruise would be a nightmare. But pushing out the 2 older girls seems harsh, especially as they have been “family” for 10 years.

OP I would suggest using family money to arrange a separate holiday for you and the 3 kids.

Goldbar · 21/07/2025 14:22

Viviennemary · 21/07/2025 14:18

In spite of what we read daily on MN not every act of human copulation leads to pregnancy. There is something called contraception.

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I presume that the OP is not forcing a second child on her partner unwillingly and that either they agreed to have another or to keep this child if she fell pregnant unexpectedly. So as much his fault as hers.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy
arethereanyleftatall · 21/07/2025 14:22

This is so difficult, as I can see all sides, what a shame, this is one of the problems with blending families.

FIl - I completely understand he doesn’t want to take and pay for 2 teenage girls who are unrelated to him. Also that he wants his sons full attention and adult company.

your girls - I feel so so sorry for them, this is a kick in the teeth for them that they’re not thought of as your partners family at all

your partner - I can see why he doesn’t want to take your girls. But his son? this depends. If he is normally a good dad, and just wants an adult break, then this could be fine. Should have been discussed and presented as ‘would it be ok if..’ though. Or is he a shit dad who thinks you’re the default parent and he can just dip in and out as he feels like it? If so, then this cruise has just blown open far far bigger problems especially as you’re pregnant.

solutuon depends how your finances are. If you can, making it up to your girls should be a priority. To even it out, your partner should stay home with the 2 ye old whilst you take your teenage girls on a wonderful trip the 3 of you.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 14:23

@BerryTwisteras I could no longer go, he changed his mindset to it now being an adult holiday and invited his friends along instead, which is totally fine, he paid for the holiday. Just a shame that my girls didn’t get a second thought and now have to miss out that’s all x

OP posts:
SnoopyPajamas · 21/07/2025 14:26

This is all so ridiculous, really. A 70th is not some sacrosanct event. It would be lovely to have a family holiday together, and I'm sure your partner really wants to go, and his dad will be upset he's not there. But it's not as if you can't go because of a work commitment or something. You're pregnant. You and your partner should be a team about this. He shouldn't need telling that if you can't go, it's not fair for him to go solo. All this hoopla about whether or not to take the kids is just a sideshow.

Sorry, but I really do find it bizarre that both you and DP have taken it as default that of course he'll go on the trip. I don't see why he can't man up and sacrifice the nice holiday. Yes, he's letting down family. But he's letting down family if he goes! You're his family too. He's leaving you pregnant with all the kids to take care of. A decent man would have no problem telling his family "I'm sorry, but OP is pregnant and I can't leave her with everything".

He shouldn't have to be told what the decent thing to do is.

Ddakji · 21/07/2025 14:26

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 14:07

Because the holiday is to celebrate his father, it isn't about the OP and the girls. I do think that the father is a bit crap for disinviting the girls, but I can also see why he doesn't want to miss his father's milestone birthday.

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They were all invited. Just because one can’t go doesn’t mean they all shouldn’t.

Clearly the OP’s FIL shouldn’t have invited her and the children as she’s just a babysitter and then children aren’t really wanted.

HappyMamma2023 · 21/07/2025 14:26

I think a 2 year old is too young to be separated from their mum for a holiday. It's a shame OP I feel sorry for you.

Ddakji · 21/07/2025 14:27

Grammarnut · 21/07/2025 14:08

He probably doesn't want to deal with the hassle two teenage girls are going to cause on a cruise without their mother. I sympathise.

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Too bad. They were invited. Clearly this is someone who wants to pick and choose about when he’s a parent/step-parent.

Emma6cat · 21/07/2025 14:27

I.dont agree with him leaving the girls out, not taking a 2 year old without you there too is understandable. But yes, I would be really annoyed if my girls were missing out, totally not their fault, and he IS the stepdad. Sounds like he will have a jolly nice time without his immediate family, not great for you, pregnant with 3 kids at home.

neilyoungismyhero · 21/07/2025 14:30

ZoomingSusan · 21/07/2025 12:40

It’s OP’s father’s partner’s birthday, ie the host is the grandfather of the 3 children.

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No it's her Fil. He's only gf to the toddler.

AngelicKaty · 21/07/2025 14:33

@CAMO1984 YANBU OP. The truth is that your DP is now going on the cruise alone with his DF and others because his free child-minder (you) is unable to go. On the upside, his free child-minder (you) can look after your DC (including your DPs own DS) at home on your own so he can "relax" on the cruise. How lovely for him. [Sarcasm: Off]
I know you don't want to make an issue of this with your DP OP, and that's your prerogative, but I want to reassure you that your feelings about this situation are entirely valid (frankly, I'd be sodding livid with DP! 😠 ).

BernardButlersBra · 21/07/2025 14:35

@CAMO1984 who do you want to kick up a fuss with: parter or your FIL?

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 21/07/2025 14:36

doodleschnoodle · 21/07/2025 11:42

I think your partner is a knob. He can’t take his child because he won’t be able to ‘relax’, what does he think you’ll be doing pregnant at home with three kids?

I agree it speaks volumes about what you were going to be doing on this trip: childcare so the rest of them could have fun. So maybe it’s best avoided anyway as it would probably have been miserable.

This is very true.
When do the rest of the family think OP gets to relax?
Any
one with any degree of consideration would have tried to make some rearrangement to allow OP to benefit from a holiday too.

Foreverm0re · 21/07/2025 14:38

Your partner is a dick for not just taking the kids.

Timely617 · 21/07/2025 14:39

Never agree to go on holiday with extended family. People must be nuts to agree to it.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 21/07/2025 14:42

HappyMamma2023 · 21/07/2025 14:26

I think a 2 year old is too young to be separated from their mum for a holiday. It's a shame OP I feel sorry for you.

The child would be with his FATHER. I’m never surprised by how little people expect of fathers but JFC…

ISpyNoPlumPie · 21/07/2025 14:44

SnoopyPajamas · 21/07/2025 14:26

This is all so ridiculous, really. A 70th is not some sacrosanct event. It would be lovely to have a family holiday together, and I'm sure your partner really wants to go, and his dad will be upset he's not there. But it's not as if you can't go because of a work commitment or something. You're pregnant. You and your partner should be a team about this. He shouldn't need telling that if you can't go, it's not fair for him to go solo. All this hoopla about whether or not to take the kids is just a sideshow.

Sorry, but I really do find it bizarre that both you and DP have taken it as default that of course he'll go on the trip. I don't see why he can't man up and sacrifice the nice holiday. Yes, he's letting down family. But he's letting down family if he goes! You're his family too. He's leaving you pregnant with all the kids to take care of. A decent man would have no problem telling his family "I'm sorry, but OP is pregnant and I can't leave her with everything".

He shouldn't have to be told what the decent thing to do is.

Couldn’t agree more. My partner would never do this to me. We are the family unit, not him and his dad.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 21/07/2025 14:47

id book something else for myself and tell him he needs to sort childcare for the 2 year old if he cant take him on the trip

FUCK that

PopeJoan2 · 21/07/2025 14:48

Chewbecca · 21/07/2025 11:37

What would you like to have happened?
For them to rearrange the trip? Presumably that isn't really an option as it is all booked and it is his birthday at that time.
For your partner to drop out? It's a bit unnecessary for him to miss his Dad's birthday.
For him to take your 2 year old (& the birthday guy's GS) - yes, I think that is a reasonable ask. Would your 2 year old be ok going without you?

What other issues do you have with the situation, I am not quite clear.

I think I would sift your grumbles into reasonable and unreasonable ones.

My reading of op is not that she wants them to rearrange but that it is unfair that her children are not going to- all with the agreement of her dh who wants to be able to relax. I am not sure I would suggest op kicks off, but is she justified in feeling perved? Absolutely!

JoshLymanSwagger · 21/07/2025 14:51

I'd be packing my "D" partners bags while he's on the SS Happy Wanderer, and telling him to dock elsewhere when he returns to the UK.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/07/2025 14:53

ISpyNoPlumPie · 21/07/2025 14:44

Couldn’t agree more. My partner would never do this to me. We are the family unit, not him and his dad.

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When/if it’s mutual, and both spouses enjoy an equalish amount of time on separate adult holidays with the other adult holding fort at home; this is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do many couples don’t want to be joined at the hip, some do, and both options are fine as long as they’re mutual.

PopeJoan2 · 21/07/2025 14:54

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 12:46

@violetpughit’s not about sides, I just wanted peoples opinions that’s all.
I have just lost my own dad recently to cancer so of course I wouldn’t want my partner to miss out on quality time and have the memories to share. Its just very disappointing for my older girls to now miss out and my partner to not even want to take is own son is quite upsetting that’s all. I would have loved to have gone, loads on the ship for kids of all ages can do .

Well, I am going to take sides. I am Team @CAMO1984 i hear where you are coming from. You just needed to have a bit of a rant. No harm in that.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 14:55

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 14:17

@Crazylittleworldthank you for your support. I was just wondering how other people would react if there were in this situation that’s all and if my feelings were at all valid x x

Feeling disappointed is valid, of course. I don't personally think it is valid to bear a grudge and hold it against your partner. That won't be a popular opinion on here, because people love to advise others to 'LTB' at the slightest provocation, even though they probably wouldn't say boo to a goose themselves, in their real life. Of course it's crap that the girls are disappointed, and you should plan something really nice, maybe just for you and them. When your partner returns, leave your son with him and take the girls on a girls' trip.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 14:57

JoshLymanSwagger · 21/07/2025 14:51

I'd be packing my "D" partners bags while he's on the SS Happy Wanderer, and telling him to dock elsewhere when he returns to the UK.

Don't be so ridiculous. Posts like this are just inflammatory and do nothing to help the OP whatsoever.