Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

[CAMO1984]

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

Are you married as you don’t call him husband but partner , if you are not married he is not your older children’s step father , you may feel being married makes no difference but in this instance it does . Does he legally have parental rights over your daughters

All you have to do is read all of OP’s before commenting

I would be gutted too, but think about a holiday in the future for you ( maybe with your family) and plan for that, you might like some time away from the little ones next year and I'm sure your partner will look after the children you have with him so you and the big girls can have a fun trip.

What the actual hell? That's awful, so awful. I would reassess my relationship with all involved.

But even if he has known them all their lives he still isnt their legal parent.
The two year old is pointless taking him. He will never remember the trip and now everyone else is going to be an adult, older adults who probably juat want to sit in the adults only bar, go to the fancy restaurants, not the kids ones, watch the late night entertainment, chill out on the deck, go to the casino or whatever it is. Noone is going to be in the soft play or the kids entertainment area. There will be a bunch of adults doing adult stuff and then your partner and son doing an entirely different type of holiday.
Your partner will be up at 6 taking your son to breakfast, they might not even surface until 10. In this instance it is pointless taking him at all.

Are (most of) you saying that you wouldn't want the chance to go on holiday without your kids to celebrate your dad's birthday? I know I'd rather go without my 2 year old if I was the DP and have done in the past.

One 2 year old and 4 adults will be boring as hell for the child (and hard work for the parent) so best all round that it's now a child-free trip away.

the point isn't OPs awkwardly timed pregnancy.

it is her "partner's" reaction to her having to stay home. First "saddling" her with a toddler (she could have used the opportunity to relax) and then not declining the trip when the DDs were uninvited.

I would be telling him in no uncertain terms not to bother coming back.

In the first post OP says ‘my dad’s partner’s birthday’ .

Has your partner legally adopted them?

If not, there is no one onboard who has legal parental responsibility for them. He can't sign consent for medical treatment, for one. Would they even be allowed on board without a parent or legal guardian present on the trip?

And do you know the kind of trouble a teen can get up to while your partner is busy with the 2 year old?

You might find they would let you go with the right health insurance.

Sorry but you are the one who is pregnant and have disrupted the plans. And you aren't even paying for it. I can't see how this situation is anybodys fault but yours.

We know. But then she corrected it.

I was also wondering what the cabin arrangements were.

Surely they can't share a cabin with an unrelated male? Nor should they be in a cabin alone.

@Thehopso just because they are not your biological children they are not family? The fuss was to let two teenage girls down who were so excited to go. I know I have no right in an opinion to be honest as I didn’t pay for the trip, but he was the one who offered in the first place and so gutted for them that they can’t go that’s all.
I will now be looking and taking the children away on my own whilst they enjoy the cruise.

They definitely won’t. Cruise lines are rigid in their policies.

Though presumably as it wasn't an immaculate conception, her partner has to take some of the blame and is equally responsible for disrupting everyone's plans?

If you and your partner aren’t married and he hasn’t legally adopted your girls then no, they aren’t family.

They're in a cabin next door.
Ffs why do people not read.

Op I think letting down two teenagers is the worst thing here.
Your dp may have been their stepdad for 10 years but he’s not advocated for them.
He’s a selfish knob.

They are family, but they are not legally family, is what you mean.

I don't think that's a issue - I've taken children on holiday who are not related to me (son's friends). It's quite common.

Unless your partner has adopted your teens, he has no parental rights.

Your FIL might have had to cancel their going as no parent or legal guardian would be along in case of illness or accident.

In the end, this is FIL's big birthday holiday and centered around him and the other adults. Your circumstances changed and now your teens won't be going without someone with parental rights along. A 2 year old on a massive cruise ship with 1 person supervising is just not a good setup

@Viviennemarymy father in law know about the pregnancy way before he booked it, just didn’t realise the policy on being 24 plus weeks and pregnant on a cruise.

Advocating doesn’t come into it. The only reason the children would have been included is because both their parents were going to be on the cruise. Now they aren’t, so there is no reason to have the children along when they aren’t related to the person who’s celebrating their birthday and only one of them is related to the person paying!

@Kuretakethe girls are allowed to go without me as long as I sign a document to state that I give permission for them to go, have already been in touch about this. Either way they won’t be going now anyway but thank you for your input x

The two teenagers wouldn't be allowed to share a cabin, there must be an adult in each cabin.
So it would have been you and 1 girl and your DP and the other (plus toddler in one). If you dropped out, your 3 DC would have had to have shared with your DP.
I also wouldn't have wanted my toddler to go on a cruise without 2 parents watching to be honest.