Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

[CAMO1984]

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

And the same back to you!! I would take your own advice if I were you. You clearly haven't read ALL the OPs posts ( click on the 'see all at the foot of the OPs first post).

It is the PARTNER'S DF and OP's FATHER IN LAW!

Im stunned your partner is still going tbh. Guess hes shown where his priorities lie, with a holiday over his family.

I wouldn’t expect him to take your children from previous relationship without you also going, regardless of how close they are, if something were to go horribly wrong abroad then they would need a parent there & even if it didn’t go wrong I don’t blame him not feeling comfortable having sole responsibility for two children that aren’t actually his.

Not taking the 2 year old is a bit shit though but that said I can see his point about it being stressful, I personally wouldn’t take my toddler on a cruise, and it would be all on him without another parent to tag team with so wouldn’t be particularly enjoyable for anyone. Toddlers are great but they are hard work and it massively helps to have two parents there to share that load.

"There is absolutely no reason why they can't go, especially as it's already been booked for them! "

The young teens are not her partner's children. Unless he's legally adopted them, he can't do things like give consent for medical treatment, which is a huge deal on a cruise with things like Noro around. They really need a parent or legal guardian present on a cruise. If mom can't go, teens can't go.

The 2 year old. Well, he would be responsible for the 2 year old 100% of the time. On a ship with little to do for little kids. With the potential for Noro and other bugs around. And they don't know if he gets seasick or not. Have you ever seen a seasick toddler on a boat or ship?
This isn't a child centered holiday. It's a trip centered around a 70 year old's birthday. That's the whole reason for the trip.

OP was perfectly clear about what her complaints are. These kind of snotty posts adding in confected confusion while being dismissive of the OP are getting so tired .

this is hilarious as you’re the one who hasn’t read anything lol

Your partner should take his son. Lazy sod.
But not your girls.
None of it is FILs fault.

So one child is too much for him to look after but he’ll happily leave you with 3? Absolute dick and shows how little he thinks of you.

Don’t let him carry on being a lazy POS parent of you’re going to keep having babies with him

These cruise ships are fucking massive, there ar eso many dangers. You are stuck at sea in basically a giant hotel, shopping centre and entertainment complex full of booze and 4000 random people. The girls can not go on holiday with a bunch of adults they don't know on a cruise, with a man who is not their father. That is ridiculous.
The 2 year old will be a nightmare. If your husband takes a 2 year old on a cruise holiday with a bunch of 70 year old adults then he might as well not go with them at all because it is highly unlikely that any of the said adults will do any activities suitable for a 2 year old. And your partner will just be wandering the ship alone trying to entertain a 2 year old who wants his mum and his toys and his usual food.
The holiday has changed from a family holiday to an adult holiday, the dynamics changed with the invite of the 70 year olds friends. Its now an adult holidahly unsuitable to bring a child.
The question is whether your partner should get to go on holiday with his family, or if he should stay home with you and the kids.
Bearimg in mind that only one of the kids is actually his and its his dads 70th, I think he should go. And I am not usually on the side of men who dont want their kids around. But in this case logic prevails.

You haven't answered any questions such as when this was booked, or whether you had cruise insurance.

This is entirely your/partner's fault for not checking in advance. And your partner for being incapable of looking after his own child.

I think he should take your two year old and the other kids as planned. Why should it change just because you can't go? Two year old is his kid too and known the others for years. Took my young child on holiday many times without issues. They were invited in the first place so that should still stand wether you can go or not.

I think him going alone is the best solution too, but I do feel sorry for the 2 girls.

The 2 year old won't care.

Had to edit this because I've now seen it's not the OP's dad's partner's 70th but her father-in-law's.

That would of course have been absolutely bonkers....!

Please God read at the very least the OP’s posts before commenting!

I agree, why is taking a two year old so hard? Done it many times. It's not hard.

DH is pathetic. If the situation was reversed and you were refusing to take sole charge of the dc you'd be widely condemned. I'm surprised that dh's plan wasn't to take the girls so that they would do the parenting for him.

At least you now know that you're never going to get away for a child free trip with your friends/family.

It doesn't sound like he has any qualms about dumping the kids on you and buggering off on his booze cruise, or have any intention of making it up to you all.

Mmm I'm not sure about this. I'm not sure id love the idea of taking a 2 year old on a cruise by myself. You'd have to be 100% alert all of the time and you'd end up back in your cabin early on your own each evening while they were in bed. Given that 2 year won't even remember it , I get why he doesn't want to take him versus going by yourself and chilling by pool sipping cocktails .

@ShallIstarti am totally aware of the dangers of a cruise ship, we have travelled on one before. The girls are not with people they don’t know, they are with their step dad who has brought them up since being small. Yes I agree, you wouldn’t be able to take your eyes off a small child for a second, I am upset that he doesn’t want the responsibility of his own son and have to let the girls down who were so excited for this holiday but agree that I am best staying at home and looking for somewhere I can take the children by myself whilst they enjoy the cruise x

Don't people just lie about such things ... which is why some people give birth on planes?

Kick up a fuss??? This man was paying for your kids to go who aren't even his family! Of course he'd rather have his friends there!

keep 2 year old home and let your partner enjoy celebrating with his dad.

then you book something for you later.

nothing to make a fuss about at all!

I used to work for a medical assistance company. Op does not want to fall ill on a cruise they have limited medical care 100% wouldn’t be able to handled anything pregnancy related and op would have to be airlifted to a hospital if they aren’t docked at a port

I would think be happy to be left at home 6 months pregnant with a 2 year old while my partner goes on a holiday.

He should forego the holiday and you should stay together as a family.

Have I got this right? Your daughters are not your FIL’s grandchildren? I wouldn’t expect them to go if you aren’t. And if his half sisters aren’t going, it makes sense that the two year old doesn’t, as honestly, he will be a hindrance. A cruise isn’t the place for a toddler.

And the person paying for it wants to have his friends along, anyway.

YABVU.

typos and paragraphs

It's an unfortunate situation, isn't it? Your partner is a bit pathetic if he can't manage his own child on holiday. Don't cruises have creches anyway, if he needed a break for a couple of hours?

I agree they can't really be expected to take your girls without you unfortunately (though it doesn't sound as if they'd be much trouble at their ages), but your partner really is a worm to bugger off and leave you with the 2yo.

Yep, fair enough, though I'd point out that OP has accepted she made an error in the first post.

Great to know the comment police are on the case, though!