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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
gardenflowergirl · 21/07/2025 18:37

How can you kick up a fuss? You wouldn't be wanting to give birth or have any pregnancy complications on a boat with no facilities to care for you. That could be disastrous. Best to stay at home with your children and organise some nice days out.

llizzie · 21/07/2025 18:38

party4you · 21/07/2025 17:37

you don’t know that though do you!!! You’re listening to the OP who clearly has messed up the story 10001 times so I’m not taking her word as gospel.

FIL has now decided that he wants a child free holiday. I think that’s fair enough. It’s his birthday his choice. OPs DP can either go alone or not go. The 2 year old and older girls can’t go no matter how much she stamps her feet.

Show quote history

Are you out to deliberately upset the OP?

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 18:41

@gardenflowergirli wouldn’t risk the health of myself or my unborn child for a second, I know complications arise and that’s why the policy is in place. My issue is not with me not being able to go if you read my post x

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy
250mlmax · 21/07/2025 18:41

llizzie · 21/07/2025 18:24

So in short, it is your DP going away on a cruise with his parents?

That seems very unfair on you, especially as that leaves you vulnerable first trimester and children to care for alone.

Do you think there is some conniving going on here? Did they know the company will not accept pregnant women 24 weeks plus?

Your DP is treating you very badly, and I would seriously consider parting from him.

Show quote history

To be fair it's his dad's 70th birthday. If OP's partner doesn't go, OP gets what she wants but it means her partner misses out on a special celebration with his father and his father misses out on celebrating with his family. The plans have already had to change once because of OP's pregnancy, it would be a shame for FIL if his son also had to pull out. Sounds like OP and her family were FIL's first choice after all.

FatherFrosty · 21/07/2025 18:41

I get it, it’s disappointing isn’t it and sort of reaffirms the girls place doesn’t it.
I think your partner is a bit of a dick for leaving you with three to run around after (I’ve teens and am aware they are self sufficient yet not).

llizzie · 21/07/2025 18:53

m00rfarm · 21/07/2025 17:03

Ooops - not father's partner. Partner's father. Jesus - she should have just deleted the bloody thread and started again! It was the most important part of the post!

Show quote history

Do you think you and your 'friends' should be rubbishing the OP? Does it matter whose FIL/F it is? Don't you think she is upset enough without you piling it on?

The fact is that a cruise holiday was booked before it was discovered the OP couldn't go. Then the DP said he did not want the bother of the 2 year old, and the outcome of that was that all the children and the pregnant OP were excluded from the holiday, and her dp ends up going on a cruise with his parents.

It is sad enough, but you and your friend(s) have made it sadder, for no other reason than that you like to upset posters.

PluckyChancer · 21/07/2025 18:53

I think it would be fine for him to go on his own if it was only for a day out like a birthday meal, but not a full holiday without the rest of his family.

I think if he was a half decent partner, he’d want to stay home with you and organise something for you as a family unit.

Is he normally quite self centred?? I suspect putting himself first is a common occurrence…

Speckly · 21/07/2025 18:59

Personally I’d be really angry that (a) Your partner can’t look after his own two year old child! Pathetic! Were you just along as the babysitter then? (b) Your husband and your father-in-law obviously don’t really see the girls as family as there’s no reason they couldn’t have still gone. Yet they’ve happily dumped them off the holiday with no consideration of how they’ll feel now, when the cruise was something they were really looking forward to and were excited about. How horrible and mean spirited! As a ‘parent’ your husband should have fought their corner on this! I’d be so angry and disappointed in him!
Yes, YOU couldn’t go but everyone else could have easily still gone. Normal people wouldn’t uninvite anyone in these circumstances.
All sounds like complete misogyny to me too. Poor you!

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 18:59

@m00rfarmyes I agree with you, I should have just deleted the post when I realised my mistake. I don’t come on here, I have never written a post like this so not sure how it all worked ect. I tried to edit it but there were no option too let me know if there is.
Yes I made a mistake but corrected myself when related it wasn’t intentional or set out to confuse anyone on purpose

OP posts:
Zempy · 21/07/2025 18:59

You have a DP problem

CopperWhite · 21/07/2025 19:00

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 17:44

@party4youit doesn’t need to be adults only though is my point! My 2 year old can still go, there are no strict rules, only those choosing not to take him

Why shouldn’t they choose not to take him? The purpose of this holiday was not to provide your children an exciting holiday. A two year old does not benefit from a cruise holiday and your older children were invited as a courtesy to you and your husband.

Their excitement hasn’t been considered because they are not central to the holiday.

You would prefer for FIL to lose money and waster it on empty rather spaces than change names and invite friends. This is a holiday to celebrate a man’s 70th birthday, not a holiday planned around children. It’s quite selfish in the circumstances to expect your husband to have half a holiday because he’s solo parenting a toddler. He should be on the holiday with the ability to help give his Dad a good time.

It was never just a free holiday for you and your children, and no one has let them down.

Redrunnynose · 21/07/2025 19:08

CAMO1984
I actually agree with you. I've been on lots of cruises and they cater for all ages of children, they have children's clubs and hubs for teenagers, to meet others their own age. The children, especially the girls would have had a ball. I'd be really annoyed more about the older girls than my toddler.

You say the girls have been in the family for 10yrs, they must be well thought of, even loved, to be invited in the first place, so to be uninvited so quickly is hurtful. Your son won't know what's he's missing out on and to be honest I'd rather keep him with me if your partner can't be bothered with him, or that he may constantly be in the toddlers club on board the ship.

I agree with other PPs, it shows you what you were invited for, to look after the children, and now you're not going, no one wants the responsibility of the children.

Going forward you now know how you and your children are perceived within the extended family.

I'd take them on a wonderful holiday abroad, flying there and get your partner to foot the bill. I hope it all works out for you 😊

jumpintheline · 21/07/2025 19:10

NewsdeskJC · 21/07/2025 12:04

Id have thought that wrangling a 2 year old not much fun on a cruise. Id also not be leaving a 2 year old in the charge of likely pissed up adults on said cruise.
Count yourself lucky.

This. I wouldn’t want to take my 2 year old on a cruise right now. And I’d worry sick the whole time if DH took her on one with his family.

LIZS · 21/07/2025 19:11

Ah your update makes more sense now. Your dds are not deemed part if the family without you. They should have been clear it was adults only from the outset. Seems odd they seem able to swap children’s places to adults.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 19:12

@CopperWhitethe purpose of this holiday originally was a fun family holiday for us all. The cruise ship had lots of things to do for children of all ages. No my 2 year old won’t remember but it would have been fun with the pools, play areas ect as well as exploring new places.
i am just disappointed to let me older girls down after they have been so excited. You don’t think this is letting them down? I am also upset that my partner refuses to take his son.
Of course I wouldn’t want my FIL to loose money, it’s his choice, he can invite who he wants, he paid for it. Am not selfish at all. I told everyone else to still go and me to stay at home, so only I miss out but no that’s not what he wants.
If I was going away to celebrate my parents birthday (which are unfortunately no longer alive) then there would be no question my children would be included. Just a sad set of circumstances thats all.

OP posts:
llizzie · 21/07/2025 19:12

250mlmax · 21/07/2025 18:41

To be fair it's his dad's 70th birthday. If OP's partner doesn't go, OP gets what she wants but it means her partner misses out on a special celebration with his father and his father misses out on celebrating with his family. The plans have already had to change once because of OP's pregnancy, it would be a shame for FIL if his son also had to pull out. Sounds like OP and her family were FIL's first choice after all.

Show quote history

DP created the baby with his DP.

His first loyalty is with his DP, and he has decided to go on a cruise with his parents leaving his dp, his toddler and his two stepdaughters.

How important is a 70th birthday? Is it a reluctance to spend money on the OP?

He is wrong to choose his father over his loyalty to his family. It seems odd that his parents would pay for a cruise for all the family, three of whom are not their relatives anyway, unless they are very wealthy pensioners.

Did they know she was pregnant and said nothing on the booking form? How long did it take them to find another couple to take the booking?

In my view, the OP is right to be upset at being left out of a family birthday celebration, and I hope she recovers from it.

.

HarrietHedgehog · 21/07/2025 19:16

If I understand the situation correctly, you’re not being unreasonable. Your father and your partner are the unreasonable ones.

Your father was prepared to pay for you, plus partner, partner’s 2 DD and his grandson to go on the cruise. It was a lovely offer. You can’t now go because of your pregnancy but it is not OK for your partner to leave you at home with three children to care for. His place is with you.

ThisTicklishFatball · 21/07/2025 19:17

I don't know what's better for you or everyone involved, I just want to say that circumstances can change, and hopefully, responsible, mature, and wise adults can brainstorm solutions to address the problems.

It's also worth mentioning that things like this are planned, arranged, and booked well in advance, which is something almost everyone ignores in this thread.

Oh, great, Mumsnet always seems to criticize every man on earth while countless of its members are married to men, and far too many even have sons. Isn't it ironic to raise boys with the notion that they'll inherently become terrible simply because they're men, based on parenting choices influenced solely by their gender?

SweetFancyMoses · 21/07/2025 19:18

I can’t imagine a nice bloke leaving you at home while he goes off and has a lovely time. My husband wouldn’t dream of doing this.

Confusdworriedmum · 21/07/2025 19:18

Jk987 · 21/07/2025 11:46

I think it’s a lot to have sole responsibility for 3 kids when on holiday - bedtimes, food, entertainment etc. I know single parents would have to cope but there wouldn’t be much down time at all.
I’m not sure what the solution is though. It’s gutting that you can’t go.

But it's okay for OP to have sole responsibility for the children while she's 24 weeks pregnant?
Partner is a total waste of space. Can't look after his own child but still insists on going on holiday. A holiday he wouldn't have been invited on if he wasn't with OP
He should be staying at home too. It's a bit late given you're going to have two children with him but is he the sort of role model you want for your kids?

MyHardySquid · 21/07/2025 19:18

Changed this as I read more of your updates, yes, I would absolutely be kicking up a fuss/very angry about that, especially as you are 24 weeks pregnant!! I find it absolutely shocking tbh that he would be ok not only to let the kids down but to expect you to take care of three when that pregnant.

lastminutelily · 21/07/2025 19:19

Mumsnet is such a strange place sometimes. Of course you are not unreasonable to be upset. It only got changed to adults only after your DH said he couldn't look after his own kid and then the others got cast aside without a thought. It might be different if they didn't know about it yet but for them to be excited about it and then told they can't go is immeasurably cruel. Of course he is 'in his rights' to change who he wants to take but it's not the actions of a kind or thoughtful person. It would affect my opinion of them going forwards if it were me.

llizzie · 21/07/2025 19:19

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 18:59

@m00rfarmyes I agree with you, I should have just deleted the post when I realised my mistake. I don’t come on here, I have never written a post like this so not sure how it all worked ect. I tried to edit it but there were no option too let me know if there is.
Yes I made a mistake but corrected myself when related it wasn’t intentional or set out to confuse anyone on purpose

I suggest you google ''trolling''. What it means is that some people deliberately set out to upset online posters, and when they can, get together with others to really go to town.

Try to learn to recognise them. It took me ages, and I still get sucked into unpleasant conversations.

Zanatdy · 21/07/2025 19:22

Very unfair of your partner. I guess you can’t blame FIL as he would have no doubt thought he would end up spending his 70th bday cruise helping care for a 2yr old. Pathetic that your partner is prepared for let down your daughters like this. Not sure there would be any coming back from that for me.

stichguru · 21/07/2025 19:23

Assuming your partner's dad’s birthday I totally understand why your partner feels he wouldn’t actually get to celebrate his dad’s birthday being in sole charge of a 2 year old and 2 other girls who aren’t even his! Looking after the kids a bit and sharing with you, having you able to take the toddler away if he was loud and restless during a serious bit, or something would be totally different from going without you. Also, unless your girls are actually like 14ish, they still need accompanying around the ship. Obviously overall the situation sucks, but I don’t think your partner is wrong here. I would focus your energy into organising some fun stuff to do with your kids while your partner is away.