Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

[CAMO1984]

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

I'd read everything posted at the time I started to write and was interrupted before finishing the last few words and pressing post.

FFS nobody has time to go back and check whether the OP has completely and utterly changed the critical facts between typing and pressing post.

Given that Oceania has always been at war with East Asia now the thread is just gibberish and should be deleted and reposted with an opening post that doesn't give the direct opposite scenario to the one later presented.

Is that a joke?

How is OP going to manage on her own then?
Plus she's pregnant?

@party4youhe can still go, they are just choosing not to take him

@CAMO1984 its disgusting that your partner is no longer taking the girls after he told them they would be going. Especially as the alternative means you’re home alone, pregnant and managing three kids.

Absolutely dreadful behaviour. Your partner is horrible.

So instead she looks after three children on her own while 24 weeks pregnant? The two year old and foetus are his and he's allegedly her "partner" - regardless of who's paying it's a dick move to leave the six months pregnant partner alone with three children so you can go on a cruise and relax if it's not a joint decision.

Not a man anyone would be pleased to realise they're pregnant to surely.

I think the only acceptable outcome is for your Dad to go without you.

@MaryTheTurtlecourse I would, I spend every day with my little boy. Just it was booked as a family holiday for us all, now nobody wants the kids to go just because I can’t go that’s all and it’s my older girls missing out. Anyway I am looking at taking them on holiday on my own whilst they go. Thank you for you input

Father is FIL.
Cruise is now adults only.

Not too difficult to understand?

And you're still missing the point. WHY has OP's FIL now made it an adults-only trip? Clue: because OP's DP can't be arsed to parent his own DS, (let alone his DSDs). OP told us in her very first post (you know, the one you were criticising for being incomplete and unclear): "Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he(sic) grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them." So how you can say this current situation has "nothing to do with the partner" is astonishing - he is literally refusing to take his own DS on holiday so he can "relax" and his own DF thinks this is OK too 🙄

I think that's fair enough though. It would change the dynamic completely and be incredibly limiting.

I would also be far too anxious to send my two eyar old off on a cruise without me there. It's surprising you're even considering it.

It's understandable that you'd be jealous your DP gets to enjoy a free cruise without you and the kids, but it's no one's fault. If it weren't for your pregnancy, you and the children would also be enjoying the free cruise. No one's being excluded, it's just making the best of a bad situation.

I think you're being a bit petty wanting your DH to miss out just because you have to. If you're adult enough to have four kids, you're adult enough to suck up this small disappointment.

And now you've got a child-free holiday in the bank ready to cash in when the time's right.

Girl I just can’t with you any more 🤣 change your story again why don’t you. You’ve literally said you FIL has changed it to an adults holiday - so NO he can’t take him. That would be utterly disgraceful when it’s FIL birthday. The correct thing here is either DP goes alone or no one goes. Simple. Unlike your story.

You don't get it either!

OP's NOT jealous.
She's upset because none of the kids are going now.
That's not jealousy....

you don’t know that though do you!!! You’re listening to the OP who clearly has messed up the story 10001 times so I’m not taking her word as gospel.

FIL has now decided that he wants a child free holiday. I think that’s fair enough. It’s his birthday his choice. OPs DP can either go alone or not go. The 2 year old and older girls can’t go no matter how much she stamps her feet.

@party4youfor you, just because my father in law invited other adults in place of my 2 girls then that then means my partner can’t take his own son too? They just dont want the responsibility and hassle of him like they both stated.

@party4youi messed up my story as was getting confused when writing it but I corrected myself as soon as I realised.

Where on earth does it look as though OP is stamping her feet??

Amazing how some people decipher posts....

You have said he wants an adults holiday. Is a 2 year old an adult? No, they’re not.

Constantly! She keeps insisting the 2 year old can go but also that her FIL has now said it’s an adults holiday!!!

It took about 5 goes to correct yourself properly and by that point half of the posters who were replying had no idea what was going on! Even now half of them think your dad paid. Ridiculous.

Whereas a 6 month pregnant woman looking after three children on her own is absolutely fine.

But boo hoo to the pathetic man who can’t cope with his two year old even though he has his parents there to help him.

Honestly, it’s threads like these that are real eye openers as to how shit and incapable some fathers are!

Ans it’s also an eye opener as to how accepting some woman in society can be of pathetic men like OP’s partner.

Almost enabling men to behave like dicks.

Your partner is right to go on the trip so he can celebrate his father’s body but I bet he’s having a great laugh about the fact that by refusing to take his son he now gets to enjoy it child-free whilst you’re slogging away at home.

I wrote that before I knew the ages of the girls, but I still think that it is not fair for him to take a 2 year old on his own especially as he wants to spend time with his father. Who would take the 2 year old to bed etc?

I do feel sorry for the girls, but it is up to the person paying.

@party4youit doesn’t need to be adults only though is my point! My 2 year old can still go, there are no strict rules, only those choosing not to take him

@250mlmax "No one's being excluded ...". Wrong, OP's DC are.
And OP isn't "jealous" or "petty" because she's perfectly happy for her DP to go - that isn't what this thread is about. OP made it clear in her very first post that, as disappointed as she is, she accepts that she can't now go, but doesn't see why her DCs can't still go - she wrote:
"Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out."

Yes, but it IS ok! If OP was going as well, they would have shared the load of the childcare. I can understand why the FIL wants to spend some quality time with his son without having to worry about a two year old. I would say the exact same if it was the OP's father and she were to go on without her partner and kids. People are making this about sexism when it isn't at all. The only way in which sex is relevant to the story is that the OP's sex is the reason that she can't go.

Almost enabling men to behave like dicks.

I think they're called Handmaidens.
Lot of them about nowadays.

Don't know where feminism has gone?