Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

[CAMO1984]

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

It’s her partners dad.

I am sorry - if someone replies to the OP which is incorrect, then the fault lies with the OP. We are allowed to have an opinion assuming the first post contains basic information. If not, then the OP is at fault and should have deleted and then restarted the thread with correct information.

@Cam1981my father in law booked and paid for this trip last month, they asked if anyone was pregnant and he said yes but nothing else was mentioned so all booked and paid for. Yes our fault for not looking into policies ect before booking, they only emailed a form for us to fill in last week which stated about the 24 weeks pregnancy situation. We cannot get a refund as our fault can only change names.
Do you have children? If so can will understand the disappointment of letting two teenage girls down after they were so excited to go. My partner is no stranger he can take responsibility for them, it’s only like taking a child’s friend on holiday who isn’t yours. They only needed a letter to say I give permission for them to go.
Anyway thank you for your input. I will be looking at taking the kids away on my own whilst they go on the cruise x

The thread is 14 pages long so why are you responding only to the opening post?

Ooops - not father's partner. Partner's father. Jesus - she should have just deleted the bloody thread and started again! It was the most important part of the post!

Why is it

Just because you and your girls are disappointed, doesn't mean your FIL and partner are the bad guys here

and not

Just because DP and FIL are disappointed, doesn't mean OP and her daughters are the bad guys here

DP chose to build a life with a woman who had two daughters. Ten years ago. He also chose to have the baby she's currently carrying. Yes, the cruise situation is a shame, and it would a sacrifice for him not to go. But this is the life he signed up for. These are his responsibilities. I cannot understand all the posters on this thread acting as if OP's pregnancy is some inconvenience she brought down upon them all and should just handle alone.

Because any normal person would have assumed that the first post contained correct information. And because I am ALLOWED to respond to the first post.

🙄 you still got it wrong a few posts later anyway, it’s her partners father. What’s your excuse this time?

Yes, you're right, it's not OP's trip.
But it's blatantly obvious she was going to be used as the childminder.

It stinks OP, and I think you should be relieved you're not going.

@VickyEadieofThighyour right so they would then have to be in a room with him or another family member travelling, but initially they did have there own room and was allowed as was all booked, we didn’t lie.

Exactly.

No, she didn't. Apart from mistakenly referring to her father, rather than FIL, which she's corrected several times now, OP's story was entirely clear and she didn't miss anything out (as she's already pointed out to you).
I also don't believe that women are in the right by default, but I find it astonishing that you and some others here seem to think it's fine to disappoint DCs having set their expectations, and also can't see the inherent sexism in fathers apparently not being able to parent single-handedly, but mothers apparently can and just have to suck it up.

Your FIL hasn’t done anything wrong but your parter sounds like a total arsehole.

He says he won’t be able to relax if he has the two year old there?! How pathetic!

And now because he’s too delicate to manage his son it means your older children have to miss out too.

He sounds like a selfish prick to be honest.

Err....
Baby brain? We've all had it

I’d have expected you to check this as soon as you heard about it, knowing you were pregnant. I get the 2 year old staying with you but the girls should be allowed to go still if they’re comfortable being away from you. Maybe FIL assumed they’d not want to go without you?

Why are your df and his partner not willing to take your dds? Teens would be rather different to a two yo, whether your partner goes or not.

This is such a naive post. I've been a step parent for 15 years. When DSC was having trouble with something at secondary school, they asked me to ring the school on their behalf and the school wouldn't even take my call because I wasn't DSC's parent.

OP's partner has no parental or legal responsibility for her girls. If, God forbid, something happened to them, he would have absolutely no say over their medical treatment or anything.

Also, the OP has posted from the cruise line's Ts&Cs that minors can be in their own cabin if next to a parent or legal guardian. Since OP's partner is neither, it means that they would have to share a cabin with him or one of the other adults, whom they are also not related to. Very inappropriate and uncomfortable for all involved.

It's a shit situation but it really can't be helped. People trying to make out like OP's partner is a dick are out of order. Why should he miss his own father's 70th birthday celebrations because of this honest mistake? I personally wouldn't feel great about preventing my partner from celebrating his dad's 70th and making him and his dad miss out just to make it 'fair' for my two kids that aren't even his.

Just go on a nice fuck off holiday with your kids. You can still fly and DP can pay. Your DDs will help looking after the 2 year old (a cruise would be a nightmare with a toddler anyway) and you can have your own fun.

Father in law..

No, she’s now said FIL has said it’s adults only. So that’s why the 2 year old isn’t going. Nothing to do with the partner in this case, OP just made it out to be.

Sorry, but I can understand your DH not wanting to take kids on a cruise. It will be a lot of work for him without you.

Why don’t you want to spend this time just you and your 2 year old?

The partner should pay for you to have a break when he comes home and he can watch all of the kids

@party4youmy partner informed me he wasn’t taking our 2 year old because he wouldn’t be able to relax like I said in my first post nothing to do with it now being an adult holiday, he just doesn’t want the hassle of him, even though there would be other adults (his family) there to help. Like I said before, thank you for your opinion

But now it is an adults only holiday, so he can’t go either way. The situation has changed.