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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
Reallybadidea · 21/07/2025 15:40

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:34

Because it is his father's milestone birthday! It isn't just some random jolly. Yes, it is disappointing for the OP and her daughters, but all these posts making her partner and his father out to be ogres are absurd.

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So people don't need to be responsible for their children if their parent has a milestone birthday?

Or is it just deeply sexist that a man assumes that his partner is happy to look after his child alone so he can go on holiday? The other stuff about the OP and her children just makes it even more unreasonable for him not to even discuss it first.

prelovedusername · 21/07/2025 15:40

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:19

I agree with you, I don't know why you are quoting my post and seemingly disagreeing? Also, it isn't the OP's partner's father's partner's birthday, it is the OP's partner's father's birthday (whew, was that a mouthful!) I totally agree that OP would be wrong to make any kind of fuss or scene about this. That said, I do think that it was a little bit callous of the OP's FIL to disinvite the girls, although I can see why he did it. He wants his son there, and that's fair enough.

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So sorry! I was agreeing with the first bit of your post. My fault.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 15:42

@party4youi didn’t put this post up to get sympathy, it’s very sad if you think that is why I have done it. I have remained anonymous and just wanted other peoples opinions with how they would feel if they were in my situation.
As for being manipulative it wasn’t my intention, either way he has just dismissed my 2 girls and not wanted his grandson to go when he found out I could no longer go. I just feel very worthless as I have to let my older girls down. It was supposed to be a family holiday, my partner and his father in law rarely drink.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion, that’s why I put this post out.
I am now looking at taking my children away on my own while they enjoy the cruise.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy
Jennyathemall · 21/07/2025 15:43

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:21

That would have been incredibly foolish, and also not as easy as you suppose. They check.

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Do they test you?

party4you · 21/07/2025 15:45

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 15:42

@party4youi didn’t put this post up to get sympathy, it’s very sad if you think that is why I have done it. I have remained anonymous and just wanted other peoples opinions with how they would feel if they were in my situation.
As for being manipulative it wasn’t my intention, either way he has just dismissed my 2 girls and not wanted his grandson to go when he found out I could no longer go. I just feel very worthless as I have to let my older girls down. It was supposed to be a family holiday, my partner and his father in law rarely drink.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion, that’s why I put this post out.
I am now looking at taking my children away on my own while they enjoy the cruise.

🥱 OP, at multiple points you missed out clear info which would make people side with you over your DP. You knew what you were doing.

Fact is, it is no longer a family holiday and your FIL no longer wants kids there. This isn’t your DPs fault and he’s allowed to celebrate his dad’s birthday. You’ve been disingenuous here and you know you have. Stop with the faux naivety.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 15:46

@Jennyathemallwhen my father in law booked the cruise they asked if anyone was pregnant, he stated I was not even thinking, just assumed it would be same rules as flying. They then emailed a special needs form out which states I have to get a fit to travel certificate along with how many weeks I am from gp/midwife, they need this information before you cruise, so no way around it and wouldn’t want to risk it anyway x x

OP posts:
quicklywick · 21/07/2025 15:47

I dont think he is being unreasonable a 2 year old on holiday is hell a 2 year old on a cruise is double hell. You cant expect him to take the older kids as they are not his can you have a family holiday somewhere so that the girls dont miss out.

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:49

Reallybadidea · 21/07/2025 15:40

So people don't need to be responsible for their children if their parent has a milestone birthday?

Or is it just deeply sexist that a man assumes that his partner is happy to look after his child alone so he can go on holiday? The other stuff about the OP and her children just makes it even more unreasonable for him not to even discuss it first.

Show quote history

OP needs to suck it up and then have a nice holiday with the girls later, not be encouraged by people on here to think she is incredibly hard done by. It was a simple error, not malicious and she would be highly unreasonable to make a big deal out of it and stand on her 'rights' the way that people on here would like her to.

Milosc · 21/07/2025 15:49

Just so you know the teens would no longer be able to be in an adjoining room if you are not there unless your partner is now their legal guardian/parent by law. The rules state that if you are not travelling with your parent then you have to have someone 18 or 21 (depending on cruise ports) or older in the cabin with the children along with an authorized letter from the parent. Children under
18/21 are not allowed in a cabin by themselves if their parent is not on board in an adjoining/adjacent room. We are taking a cruise in two weeks with teens (ours and their friends) and the rules are very specific. So even if your kids did go they would have to share a room with your partner which seems awkward at best.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 15:52

@party4youwhat points did I miss out? I stated my situation in my first post. I couldn’t go so my father in law then decides to invite his friends instead and didn’t want my son or girls to go, don’t know how much clearer you need it to be..
Anyway your opinion, you are entitled to think what you like. Thank you for your input

OP posts:
anyolddinosaur · 21/07/2025 15:52

As usual people dont read the posts. It is not her partner's dad having the birthday, it's HIS partner.

I'd be pretty unhappy at 24 weeks to my partner going away with other people.

You call him a partner but you have 2 children together, that makes you pretty vulnerable. I hope you work and are claiming NI credits when not working.

Fraggeek · 21/07/2025 15:53

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 15:49

OP needs to suck it up and then have a nice holiday with the girls later, not be encouraged by people on here to think she is incredibly hard done by. It was a simple error, not malicious and she would be highly unreasonable to make a big deal out of it and stand on her 'rights' the way that people on here would like her to.

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She's not hard done by, but the kids are. It doesn't matter what anyone says about them being family or not, they're teenagers that have been kicked off a holiday because their mum isn't there to look after them. Doesn't matter how it's dressed up, that's really shitty behaviour and those girls are going to be upset. And rightly so.
It's seriously shitty behaviour regardless of it being a birthday. Shes pregnant and there was always a chance OP wouldn't be able to go, with that in mind there should have been discussions about that possibility.
Rather than literally saying to kids, "we don't want you there".

party4you · 21/07/2025 15:54

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 15:52

@party4youwhat points did I miss out? I stated my situation in my first post. I couldn’t go so my father in law then decides to invite his friends instead and didn’t want my son or girls to go, don’t know how much clearer you need it to be..
Anyway your opinion, you are entitled to think what you like. Thank you for your input

Half of the replies here are trying to get clarification on what the hell you’re talking about, so you think what you want but your motive is very clear.

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/07/2025 15:54

Well, your father-in-law has done a sterling job of driving a wedge between his son and his son's step-daughters! To have invite the girls and then withdrawn the invite, and for their step-dad to be absolutely fine with that - very distresssing for your daughters.

In your shoes I would telling my partner that in the fathering stakes, he has fallen well short of adequate.

party4you · 21/07/2025 15:56

anyolddinosaur · 21/07/2025 15:52

As usual people dont read the posts. It is not her partner's dad having the birthday, it's HIS partner.

I'd be pretty unhappy at 24 weeks to my partner going away with other people.

You call him a partner but you have 2 children together, that makes you pretty vulnerable. I hope you work and are claiming NI credits when not working.

Looks like you’re not reading to me.

CAMO1984 · Today 11:55
Sorry it’s not my dad it’s my father in law, my mistake which I made in the beginning message

CAMO1984 · Today 12:19
**I meant to say partners dads 70th not my dad. It’s my father in law, my mistake. It doesn’t let me edit the post

m00rfarm · 21/07/2025 15:58

ThejoyofNC · 21/07/2025 11:46

Tbh I think it's very different you going as a family, to him taking a 2 year old away with a load of adults. That wouldn't be enjoyable at all. And they have no obligation to take your 2 older children, it was generous to begin with.

deleted

party4you · 21/07/2025 16:01

m00rfarm · 21/07/2025 15:58

deleted

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What a strange leap and a jump you’ve made there - especially when you’ve not read the thread.

cupfinalchaos · 21/07/2025 16:03

StellaAndCrow · 21/07/2025 11:33

I'm sorry. It shows what they expected your role on the holiday to be!

This.

m00rfarm · 21/07/2025 16:05

party4you · 21/07/2025 16:01

What a strange leap and a jump you’ve made there - especially when you’ve not read the thread.

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And if you see what you are quoting you will also realise your mistake. I changed my post within ten seconds of reading the penultimate post.

cupfinalchaos · 21/07/2025 16:06

Also a cruise is the easiest holiday with teens as they’re just off and on sea days you usually see them just at dinner. Absolutely no excuse.

WhatdoesitmeanKeith · 21/07/2025 16:11

anyolddinosaur · 21/07/2025 15:52

As usual people dont read the posts. It is not her partner's dad having the birthday, it's HIS partner.

I'd be pretty unhappy at 24 weeks to my partner going away with other people.

You call him a partner but you have 2 children together, that makes you pretty vulnerable. I hope you work and are claiming NI credits when not working.

You’re not reading either @anyolddinosaur

istheresomethingishouldsay · 21/07/2025 16:13

The 2 year old goes or none of them go.

I'd put my foot down and pack the 2 year old's things.

Be out of the house when they leave. Go spend the night with a good friend or family member the night before.

CharlieEffie · 21/07/2025 16:13

I can understand them not taking your girls, but him saying he wont be able to relax if he takes his son...your pregnant...and he's okay leaving you home alone with 3 kids. Id be fine with him going...but he would be taking HIS son

ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 16:15

istheresomethingishouldsay · 21/07/2025 16:13

The 2 year old goes or none of them go.

I'd put my foot down and pack the 2 year old's things.

Be out of the house when they leave. Go spend the night with a good friend or family member the night before.

This is really terrible advice.

ShallIstart · 21/07/2025 16:15

Fraggeek · 21/07/2025 15:53

She's not hard done by, but the kids are. It doesn't matter what anyone says about them being family or not, they're teenagers that have been kicked off a holiday because their mum isn't there to look after them. Doesn't matter how it's dressed up, that's really shitty behaviour and those girls are going to be upset. And rightly so.
It's seriously shitty behaviour regardless of it being a birthday. Shes pregnant and there was always a chance OP wouldn't be able to go, with that in mind there should have been discussions about that possibility.
Rather than literally saying to kids, "we don't want you there".

Show quote history

Surely, if you are going on holiday as a group and then the parent can't go, the group doesn't take the children anyway.
This really ia all on OP and her partner as they got pregnant knowing this big holiday had been booked and paid for and not looking into the regulations or thinking through.
I can see why the father in law who is also not a biological grandad to the girls, wants to enjoy the expensive cruise holiday with friends rather than with two teens who is not related to and a 2 year old who can't even enjoy any of it and won't remember it while the mother stays at home.
It was a generous offer to start with, he doesnt want to chaperone the teens or babysit on his 70th birthday. He has still said to his son he can come alone, which is fair enough.
The OPs partner should go alone, it will be two weeks of a life, nothing really. And he will get to celebrate his dads 70th with him. She can bank it as a nice holiday with the girls or her mum at later date.